Sick day

Heat_Wave

Hi all

I will keep this short as I haven't the energy to type.

I started a new job five weeks ago. I am on a 12 month contract, of which the first six months are probation. I am hoping it will become permanent after the 12 months.

During those five weeks, I have been one of the first people in every day. I have no problem staying late either. I haven't missed a day.

I suffer from depression which none of my colleagues would know about, obviously. It's not something you tell people. Also, I am not sure if my employer knows (I did declare it in the Heath screening document before I started though, and I am not sure if this is for HR's eyes only).

Anyway my problem. I am having a particularly down day. I haven't been this down in a long time. I cannot stop crying. My eyes are so sore. I feel like the world is crashing down around me and I just want to curl up in bed tomorrow and have a bit of me time, and then go in fresh on Tuesday.

As I said, this hasn't happened to me in a very long time. I am terrified of calling in sick, even though I am not one to ever take a sick day, maybe once or twice a year.

Any advice on what I should do? And if I do call in sick, what can I possibly say?

power pants

Personally I would go in. Not because you will get into any trouble or its a big deal to take the day off but I think with you taking the day off, all you will do tomorrow and probably tomorrow night is worry about taking the day off sick and going into work the next day.

Try and get a good nights sleep and think to yourself about having a relaxing early night tomorrow.

Im not dismissing that you are depressed or feel bad but perhaps this might be better for you tomorrow?

Heat_Wave

power pants wrote: »

Personally I would go in. Not because you will get into any trouble or its a big deal to take the day off but I think with you taking the day off, all you will do tomorrow and probably tomorrow night is worry about taking the day off sick and going into work the next day.

Try and get a good nights sleep and think to yourself about having a relaxing early night tomorrow.

Im not dismissing that you are depressed or feel bad but perhaps this might be better for you tomorrow?

Hi Power Pants,

I know what you mean, but I will genuinely be able to use tomorrow's time to kick myself back into gear. Whereas I feel that if I go in tomorrow, I will be so out of character and on the rocks that my colleagues will pick up on it. And that will be a lot worse. This is how I genuinely feel.

jimbobjnr

I suffer from bi-polar and aspergers so believe me I know how hard it is to get out of bed and doing things like just having a shower seem like monumental tasks sometimes. But unfortunately I also know how little understanding some employer's have ( mine tried to sac me by saying I was disabled) being that your on probation I would strongly suggest that you go in tomorrow and then let them either send you off sick or go home sick but let them see you made the effort to come in.if you are felling this bad have you contacted any of the services you are using.? Is there a particular trigger for you that has made you feel this way and maybe a chat about it with someone could help

Gongoozler

I agree that a lot of the time it can be better to just continue on (and I say this as a person who gets bouts of depression too) but if you really think you'd be better off to take the day then do. You need to look after yourself, and even though it's just been 5 weeks, one day out sick will almost certainly not make a difference to them.

Heat_Wave

jimbobjnr wrote: »

I suffer from bi-polar and aspergers so believe me I know how hard it is to get out of bed and doing things like just having a shower seem like monumental tasks sometimes. But unfortunately I also know how little understanding some employer's have ( mine tried to sac me by saying I was disabled) being that your on probation I would strongly suggest that you go in tomorrow and then let them either send you off sick or go home sick but let them see you made the effort to come in.if you are felling this bad have you contacted any of the services you are using.? Is there a particular trigger for you that has made you feel this way and maybe a chat about it with someone could help

Thank Jimbob. No trigger as such, I just feel so lonely. I'm 24 and I feel like I'm living the life of an 80 year old woman. I hang out with my parents every weekend as I don't have many friends and I don't know, I guess it all just got on top of me this weekend.

Heat_Wave

As far as I know, they call you in for a chat about your absence on the day you return. Shall I be brutally honest with my employer and tell him that I suffer from depression and that I had a bad spell of it this weekend and tell him not to worry because it very, very rarely happens.. As in once/twice a year (one/two sick days that is).

jimbobjnr

I know what that feels like and have been there.I retreated into a world if online video games and felt safe in my room and wouldn't come out. As clichéd as it sounds. joining groups and pushing myself to do things has made a difference for me.I'm 34 now.have a daughter I love more than life itself and have new friends.it was hard and I felt so exposed and afraid I'd never fit in anywhere but I found my niche by pursuing groups that shared common interests .apps like meet up are great for this .you just type in what you like to do and there is always a group of people who like to do the same thing:)

Ice Storm

Hi, I can relate in some ways having suffered from depression.

For me personally, I found it even harder to return to work after taking a day off. Are you sure you won't be feeling the same this time tomorrow?

If you do take the day off maybe it would be worth going to see your GP for a chat about how you're feeling?

jimbobjnr

No I wouldn't tell them.they hear depression and unless they vey understanding they will assume you will always be sick.doesn't matter how infrequent you tell them it is .depression will always ring alarm bells with employers

jimbobjnr

Ice Storm wrote: »

Hi, I can relate in some ways having suffered from depression.

For me personally, I found it even harder to return to work after taking a day off. Are you sure you won't be feeling the same this time tomorrow?

If you do take the day off maybe it would be worth going to see your GP for a chat about how you're feeling?

Me too. One day would turn into just one more day and then a week .then I went sick for 6 months

Heat_Wave

Ice Storm wrote: »

Hi, I can relate in some ways having suffered from depression.

For me personally, I found it even harder to return to work after taking a day off. Are you sure you won't be feeling the same this time tomorrow?

If you do take the day off maybe it would be worth going to see your GP for a chat about how you're feeling?

I think this is a very good idea. In that way I will also have a doctors note for work. But most importantly, I can get a prescription to go back on anti depressants for a while. I came off them about three months ago as they were making me very sleepy, but tbh, I need something.

Do you think this doctor's note will 'calm the storm' in work?

jimbobjnr

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I think this is a very good idea. In that way I will also have a doctors note for work. But most importantly, I can get a prescription to go back on anti depressants for a while. I came off them about three months ago as they were making me very sleepy, but tbh, I need something.

Do you think this doctor's note will 'calm the storm' in work?

Get a doctors note for something unrelated .gastic flu or something

Eeden

I'd be a little bit afraid that taking a day off could possibly turn into something that you might do on an ongoing basis. I speak as someone who would love to do what you're talking about, but I'd be afraid to in case it becomes an option in my mind, if you know what I mean.

I've also worked with someone who did similar all too regularly, and it did not go down well. Even though everyone realised that it was about stress, it happened too often and the stress wasn't related to the job. The fact that he would take a day off with zero notice did not endear him.

Of course, if you really think that taking a day off every so often won't become a crutch, then I think it could be a good idea. I had a colleague long ago who would take a day off occasionally and she would call it a "mental health day". However, she took this from her holidays instead of a sick day. That said, she was reasonably senior enough that she could get away with taking a day off at short notice.

Heat_Wave

Eeden wrote: »

I'd be a little bit afraid that taking a day off could possibly turn into something that you might do on an ongoing basis. I speak as someone who would love to do what you're talking about, but I'd be afraid to in case it becomes an option in my mind, if you know what I mean.

I've also worked with someone who did similar all too regularly, and it did not go down well. Even though everyone realised that it was about stress, it happened too often and the stress wasn't related to the job. The fact that he would take a day off with zero notice did not endear him.

Of course, if you really think that taking a day off every so often won't become a crutch, then I think it could be a good idea. I had a colleague long ago who would take a day off occasionally and she would call it a "mental health day". However, she took this from her holidays instead of a sick day. That said, she was reasonably senior enough that she could get away with taking a day off at short notice.

Hi Eeden,

It definitely will not become a regular occurrence as I worry too much. I am terrified of stepping one foot out of line during this 6 month probation.

I just know when too much has become too much, and I am not in a healthy state of mind lately.

pew

I had to do the same thing a few months ago. I took a sick day because I was going through a really horrible patch and couldn't cope.

I needed time to get myself together. If I went into into work I'd have a complete break down so I called in sick.

I was only 3 weeks into my contract at that stage and they were fine about it.

I would definitely suggest going to your gp anyway. It wouldn't hurt.

I took my sick day to go research counsellors and started back counselling just to clear my head.

You don't have to disclose anything to your boss of you don't want to.

Hope you feel better soon op.

njs030

Taking a sick day after 5 weeks employment probably won't go down very well, its very very early and doesn't look great unless it's a serious problem- ie hospital or broken bones. Also taking a Monday off sick can look like a hangover day especially if you're fine on Tuesday.

I understand that you feel very bad op, but I would say the same to someone with any illness, always try to go to work and go home if you absolutely have to.

I hope you feel better soon op.

Heat_Wave

notjustsweet wrote: »

Taking a sick day after 5 weeks employment probably won't go down very well, its very very early and doesn't look great unless it's a serious problem- ie hospital or broken bones. Also taking a Monday off sick can look like a hangover day especially if you're fine on Tuesday.

I understand that you feel very bad op, but I would say the same to someone with any illness, always try to go to work and go home if you absolutely have to.

I hope you feel better soon op.

Hi notjustsweet,

Thanks for the reply. Would you still think this even if I were to provide a doctors note?

LegacyUser

Hi op.
Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I know from experience what it can feel like. I personally woul go in tomorrow. It is a distraction and if your colleagues notice you are a bit off form, just tell them you didn't sleep well. I think if you took the day off, it would add to your stress as you could end up feeling more nervous about going in on Tuesday. I would put the phone down, try and get a good sleep and see how you feel in the morning. If you really can't face it, ring in. But I think it would help your head a bit if you stayed in your routine.

I hope you feel better soon xx

njs030

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi notjustsweet,

Thanks for the reply. Would you still think this even if I were to provide a doctors note?

Honestly I'm not sure. People can quite easily provide doctors notes, stomach flu or food poisoning are common ones to cover for hangovers so don't go for either of them!

The thing here is that your health is the most important thing, if you really really feel that you couldn't manage the day then when you call in sick be sure to say youre going to the doctors and will be presenting a note on your return.
Id say if you make up for the work you missed, keep working hard and don't miss any more days they will forget in a few weeks.

Del2005

Missing a day could push your probation out by a few more months and I was once told that a sicknote explains the illness not the absence, could have been the manager but he heard it somewhere. In saying that the only person looking out for you is yourself so make the best choice for your health not the company or your job as both can be replaced.

Heat_Wave

Del2005 wrote: »

In saying that the only person looking out for you is yourself so make the best choice for your health not the company or your job as both can be replaced.

It is 4.30am and I've been tossing and turning for the past hour. I think what you said above is very true.

Hopefully it won't cause my probation to extend. I will just have to prove myself in the next few weeks.

kjl

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi Power Pants,

I know what you mean, but I will genuinely be able to use tomorrow's time to kick myself back into gear. Whereas I feel that if I go in tomorrow, I will be so out of character and on the rocks that my colleagues will pick up on it. And that will be a lot worse. This is how I genuinely feel.

Ok, I know it's late, but just send you manager an email in the morning. It's perfectly ok to take a sick day from time to time.

Heat_Wave

kjl wrote: »

Ok, I know it's late, but just send you manager an email in the morning. It's perfectly ok to take a sick day from time to time.

Thanks, I will do.

CaraMay

What's the company policy on sick leave? Do you not have to ring in?