Getting married legally - then having the wedding much later

ggr55

I'm wondering can anyone tell me the process for getting married legally - but we don't want to have the wedding for a while after. Unconventional I know, but long story short, we need to get married slightly sooner than we'd want due to a visa issue - and I just don't have the money for the wedding we want right now. We'll be getting engaged in the next few months - and would like to have the wedding about 12 months after that.

I know lots of people do the registry office thing and then go and have their wedding a few days later. What's involved in legal marriage part and what do I need to do? I know there are marriage licences and courses etc I have to go on, can anyone point me in the right direction? Thanks

lazygal

Premarriage courses are for people having church weddings. For a legal wedding in Ireland you make an appointment to register intent, bring the relevant documents to the meeting and book a date and time for the ceremony. Costs €200 and takes ten minutes on the ceremony day. The registrars will answer any questions. There's no marriage license, if you have a registry office ceremony they keep all paperwork.

westernlass

You need to give three months notice of intention to marry in Ireland

lazygal

westernlass wrote: »

You need to give three months notice of intention to marry in Ireland

You do but this can be waived if there's extenuating circumstances.

nikkibikki

You'll need 2 witnesses as well I'm fairly sure.

Gatica

lazygal wrote: »

You do but this can be waived if there's extenuating circumstances.

yes, but "needed a visa" wouldn't necessarily be seen as "extenuating circumstances"... may depend on the judge.

Best thing would be to get your notification of intent to marry registered asap, or inquire about getting it waved if you think there's enough cause. The registration office should be able to provide you with any information you need, the list of docs can be found here:
https://www.welfare.ie/en/Pages/Getting_Married.aspx#sect4

ggr55

Thanks for the advice guys. We are not in a major rush we have time. Visa expires in just under a year. We have been together almsot 2 years. We'll get engaged this year - maybe legally married early next year - then the wedding 6-12 months after that I'd say. So I can just register my intention to marry now, and the process is pretty quick?

What about then when I do want an actual wedding, does all the rest go off as normal bar the signing in the church? Do the chuch mind that I may have already got legally married before this? I assume I still have to do all the marraige courses ect?

lazygal

It'll depend on the church. Some Catholic priests won't do a ceremony in a church if you're already legally married. You'd have to ask whoever is in charge of the church you attend what the rules are.

stickybookmark

ggr55 wrote: »

Thanks for the advice guys. We are not in a major rush we have time. Visa expires in just under a year. We have been together almsot 2 years. We'll get engaged this year - maybe legally married early next year - then the wedding 6-12 months after that I'd say. So I can just register my intention to marry now, and the process is pretty quick?

What about then when I do want an actual wedding, does all the rest go off as normal bar the signing in the church? Do the chuch mind that I may have already got legally married before this? I assume I still have to do all the marraige courses ect?

Yeah this may not work out as it's not the norm. Normally the priest does the legal and the religious bit.
you might have to just have a ''blessing'' of your marriage in the church followed by a party

lazygal

I've known priests refuse a blessing too-they said they couldn't 'bless' a wedding that wasn't really a marriage in the eyes of the church. It really depends on the individual priest.

alpha2

The Church of Ireland offers blessings for couples who have had a civil ceremony and/or married in another country, if that's any help!

neemish

lazygal wrote: »

It'll depend on the church. Some Catholic priests won't do a ceremony in a church if you're already legally married. You'd have to ask whoever is in charge of the church you attend what the rules are.

That's not the way it works. If you are both Roman Catholic and are legally married, you can have the marriage convalidated (officially recognised by the Church). Any problems with a particular priest, apply to the Bishop. Only in extenuating circumstances would you be refused.

lazygal

neemish wrote: »

That's not the way it works. If you are both Roman Catholic and are legally married, you can have the marriage convalidated (officially recognised by the Church). Any problems with a particular priest, apply to the Bishop. Only in extenuating circumstances would you be refused.

See above. I have heard of priests refusing and not giving blessings. One case was where two divorced people remarried and as the Catholic church doesn't recognise divorce the wedding couldn't be blessed. Bishop said the same as the priest, that marriage blessings can only happen in certain cases. It all depends on the people involved. Anyway the op should ask their priest about this.

fits

convalidation is different to a blessing though.

Peregrinus

Talk to your priest.

If you're Catholic, you are supposed to get married in a Catholic ceremony (or get a dispensation from your bishop to be married in a non-Catholic ceremony which you will get fairly readily if, e.g, your intended is an Anglican and you wish to get married in their church).

If a Catholic marries in a non-Catholic ceremony without a dispensation then, as far as the Catholic church is concerned, that marriage is invalid. But if the couple concerned are free to marry - neither of them is married to someone else, for example - then they can ask to have their marriage "convalidated" by the church, so that it secures church recognition on top of the existing state recognition. And a convalidation can involve a ceremony which can look strikingly like a wedding ceremony.

So, basically, talk to your priest and ask if he is happy to do this.

They are generally fairly accommodating if, e.g. you need to get married very quickly for visa purposes, or something of the kind. But in your case you have just under a year before your visa problem kicks in, so in fact you have plenty of time to marry in church, if that's what you want to do. And probably the first thing the priest will do is offer you a church wedding within your visa timeframe. And you'll need to have some reason for not accepting that offer, I think. "We're planning a really big party, and it will take at least 18 months to organise" may not be a good enough reason. After all, you could have a low key church wedding in the next twelve months (which of course would solve your visa problem) and then a really big party at a later date.

So, ask yourself what is your reason for not marrying in church in sufficient time to solve the visa problem. You need to know what your answer to that question is, because the priest is certainly going to ask it.