constantly feeling like a fraud

LegacyUser

I suffer from low self confidence all my life. I started my first job in a graduate programme last September. I was trained in and regularly receive updates from my supervisors who are happy with my work. Despite this, I feel so unconfident compared to my peers. I know that we all hold the same qualifications and that we are all working well, but I feel like I dont grasp things the way others do, or like others are more competent than I am.
I have read about imposter syndrome and I feel like I suffer from it.
I look at other employees who have climbed the ladder like I'd like to, but I just feel like I'm not able for it.
I just have a feeling like im not able to do anything, and have a fear of responsability in case I mess things up.
Is there any way to get over this?Its gonna hold me back so much, and I already feel like its impeding me, as I don't do things as well as I could because part of me is thinking I'm doing it wrong.

LegacyUser

It takes a while to feel that you are settled in a job, over two years I think. You are obviously doing well in your role as your supervisors are happy with you. Think back from your start date and all that you have learnt since then, im sure there is plenty, think about where you have contributed, im sure you have. No need to be comparing yourself to others, everyone has weaknesses and strengths, where some people might be good at customer service/with people, others might have good attention to detail, one might be good at certain computer systems, whilst the other is good with reports. That's just teams. As for not feeling confident taking on responsibility, that is only human, we all feel like we are winging it at work at times, but best thing is just to get stuck in even if you have a nervous stomach, you will learn things on the way. Good luck.

spigot

I could have written this post OP, almost the same facts. You are not alone. I feel like a total imposter too. My manager gives me good feedback and in general I get on ok, but I still get this niggling feeling that I am going to be found out someday. I feel like I am getting away with murder as I feel my work ethic is terrible but somehow I haven't been found out. I don't have any real advice, but just to let you know you're not alone.

stickyfinger

Imposter syndrome is fairly common, if you have a read of Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In she talks about it as well, which surprised me considering she is the COO of Facebook, and she brings it up based on being at a talk about another woman in a powerful position in a company who talked about how she had it as well. I only bring it up to say that you shouldn't let it hold you back, lots of people male or female feel the same, and as one of the other posters said, stick with your work and keep going, you are as capable as anyone else and don't give up!

elusiveguy

Hello!

This might help you, some of it might seem unconnected but stick with it

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

Sunflower 27

Hi OP

You got the job because you were able for it and your reviews have been good because you are doing your job competently.

Have you ever gone for counselling for your self esteem? May be time to work on that now so it doesn't hold you back in the future. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.

LegacyUser

OP here.
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Im relieved to hear others feel the same. Is it something that will just pass with time?
I feel like this affects me in every aspect of my life. I think im a perfectionist, and I dont handle making mistakes well. The funny thing is, I know I dont hold others to their mistakes and would be the first to bolster someone up and tell them that theyre doing fine, but I cant do the same for myself!
It really affects me in everything I do. When I was at college, I remember dispairing that I was terrible for procrastinating and not studying, and my sister remarked 'You sound like you think you are an awful person for this, but everyone is the same!'
Similarly when I was learning to drive, I remember the instructor saying that I was doing better than I thought I was.
I did go to a counsellor about my self esteem a couple of years ago and thought I had made some headway but I still feel so much less able than others at almost all tasks!

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

I hope you find more confidence and learn to see your worth in the job. I'm actually replying however to say thank you to YOU for posting this thread as I've just started a graduate scheme two weeks ago and have been feeling EXACTLY the same way! To the extent where I had a conversation with a friend just the other night where I was getting really upset telling her that I felt like a fraud and like I'm waiting to be found out... When she asked me what I meant, I couldn't really explain it. I thought I was going crazy! lol

It's like I really do love the job and the people but I just don't feel good enough to be there and find myself constantly wondering if my manager (who hired me) has started to regret his decision yet and as much as I don't like to see anyone else feeling this way, I have to admit your post has been a massive comfort to me. Just to know that I'm not completely insane and it may actually be a normal process that we have to go through

Anyway, I wish you all the best with your job and I hope you (and your confidence) continue to prosper in to the future x