How Much Maintenance Should I Pay?

LegacyUser

Hi All,

I am 29 and I have 2 children from an old relationship that did not work out, the mother of the 2 children is now looking for more maintenance and is threatening to go to court if I do not pay more. However I feel I am paying a fair amount. I would like you to look at the following finances and give me your opinion on how much you think I should pay, or how much you think a judge would award.

Currently I pay €130 per week and €100 per child at Christmas and I pay half of the going back to school costs. I also pay for half of any medical/dental costs and contribute towards activities such as football, summer camps etc. The kids aged 7 & 5 stay with me 1-2 nights a week and I take them for extra time when I am off work. She does not work, if she did I can provide childcare Thursday to Monday via myself and my Mother.

I am temporarily living back at home with my Mother and Father until I have saved for a deposit to purchase a house with my partner with the next 14 months. I am also due a 10% salary increment at the end of this year.

Per Week Income & Expenditure.

My Income:
€560 Wages
Car mileage that covers car usage for work

My Expenses:
€45 Car Loan
€10 Life Insurance
€10 Car Tax
€15 Car Insurance
€10 Car Upkeep
€25 Car Diesel
€5 Mobile Phone
€20 Work Breakfast & Lunches
€50 Rent To Parents
€125 Mortgage Savings
€130 Maintenance
€30 (Kids Birthdays, Xmas, school, doctors/dental, sports, etc)

Total = €475
Total Income - Expenses = €85


Her Income
€247.60 One Parent Family Payment
€60 Childrens Allowance
€10 Fuel Allowance
€130 Maintenance
€95 Rent Allowance
Total = €542.60

Her Expenses:
€185 Rent
€15 Heating
€20 Electricity
€20 UPC
€100 Groceries
€10 Car Tax
€15 Car Insurance
€10 Car Upkeep
€50 Car Diesel
€5 Mobile Phone
€30 (Kids birthdays, Xmas, school, doctors/dental, sports, etc)
€25 Kids Clothes

Total = €485
Total Income - Expenses = €57.60

I know what most of her expenses are and for the ones that I am unsure about or that are variable I put them at a higher rate by searching for average costs online.

January

It looks like you are giving more than your fair share, let her take you to court if she wants but do try mediation first. Is she declaring your maintanence to social welfare?

Red Silurian

UnsureMaintenanceDad wrote: »

Hi All,

I am 29 and I have 2 children from an old relationship that did not work out, the mother of the 2 children is now looking for more maintenance and is threatening to go to court if I do not pay more. However I feel I am paying a fair amount. I would like you to look at the following finances and give me your opinion on how much you think I should pay, or how much you think a judge would award.

Currently I pay €130 per week and €100 per child at Christmas and I pay half of the going back to school costs. I also pay for half of any medical/dental costs and contribute towards activities such as football, summer camps etc. The kids aged 7 & 5 stay with me 1-2 nights a week and I take them for extra time when I am off work. She does not work, if she did I can provide childcare Thursday to Monday via myself and my Mother.

I am temporarily living back at home with my Mother and Father until I have saved for a deposit to purchase a house with my partner with the next 14 months. I am also due a 10% salary increment at the end of this year.

Per Week Income & Expenditure.

My Income:
€560 Wages
Car mileage that covers car usage for work

My Expenses:
€45 Car Loan
€10 Life Insurance
€10 Car Tax
€15 Car Insurance
€10 Car Upkeep
€25 Car Diesel
€5 Mobile Phone
€20 Work Breakfast & Lunches
€50 Rent To Parents
€125 Mortgage Savings
€130 Maintenance
€30 (Kids Birthdays, Xmas, school, doctors/dental, sports, etc)

Total = €475
Total Income - Expenses = €85


Her Income
€247.60 One Parent Family Payment
€60 Childrens Allowance
€10 Fuel Allowance
€130 Maintenance
€95 Rent Allowance
Total = €542.60

Her Expenses:
€185 Rent
€15 Heating
€20 Electricity
€20 UPC
€100 Groceries
€10 Car Tax
€15 Car Insurance
€10 Car Upkeep
€50 Car Diesel
€5 Mobile Phone
€30 (Kids birthdays, Xmas, school, doctors/dental, sports, etc)
€25 Kids Clothes

Total = €485
Total Income - Expenses = €57.60

I know what most of her expenses are and for the ones that I am unsure about or that are variable I put them at a higher rate by searching for average costs online.

How is she spending €50 on diesel a week while not working?

unkel

Those figures look unfair to you (and I can only imagine your girlfriend is losing out here big time - this is all very unfair to her!)

The mother of your children will have to start relying on herself more and try to find a job (at least part time).

Best of luck and keep us posted!

LegacyUser

January wrote: »

It looks like you are giving more than your fair share, let her take you to court if she wants but do try mediation first. Is she declaring your maintanence to social welfare?

I don't think she is declaring it all as she is adamant that I only pay her by cash and she will not give me her bank details to set up a direct debit. This causes lots of issues each month when I hand over maintenance and get her to sign for it.

As it currently stands she has now stopped me seeing the kids for the past week until I agree to pay her €200 a week in maintenance. I have decided to bite the bullet and I put in an access and maintenance order into the district court, I have been told I should get a date by late September early August.

I hope she doesn't keep them from me until then and I hope the judge sees that I have been fair with maintenance, I am going to continue paying the €130 a week at the end of each month as I am paid monthly. I only did the expenses and costs out weekly as she is paid weekly.

LegacyUser

colmtheperson wrote: »

How is she spending €50 on diesel a week while not working?

She does a lot of excessive driving, it could easily be reduced but I know she will never reduce the amount of driving she does. She's the type of person who spends money now and worries about the consequences, I have had to on multiple occasions bail her out when her prepaypower.ie ran out of credit or when she has been short for rent. I have stopped doing this as of about 3 months ago as I cannot afford it and I am still paying a loan back to my mother from the last time I had to bail her rent out and did not have the cash myself. This all kicked off at the start of this month when she said she did not have her portion of the rent from the landlord and only the rent allowance portion had been paid, I refused to pay it.

January

Also, and I know you should be paying half the going back to school costs anyway, but do you know if she claimed the Back to School Clothing & Footwear allowance grant this year? It is €100 per child that is over the age of 4.

LegacyUser

January wrote: »

Also, and I know you should be paying half the going back to school costs anyway, but do you know if she claimed the Back to School Clothing & Footwear allowance grant this year? It is €100 per child that is over the age of 4.

Yes she did receive the Back to School allowance. Even though I gave her half of the expenses she did not purchase any uniforms or shoes for the kids and I was left to purchase 2 pairs of shoes and uniforms. What really annoys me is that I already paid half for it and now I bought them anyway. Realistically she should have to pay me back for these, although it will never happen.

The Corinthian

UnsureMaintenanceDad wrote: »

I don't think she is declaring it all as she is adamant that I only pay her by cash and she will not give me her bank details to set up a direct debit. This causes lots of issues each month when I hand over maintenance and get her to sign for it.

As she's receiving rent allowance, I'd suspect she's not declaring any of your payments, otherwise the first €100 p.w. of your maintenance would deducted from that (in effect, she's lose her rent allowance).

Nonetheless, you need to get a receipt from her when you pay her in cash.

UnsureMaintenanceDad wrote: »

Realistically she should have to pay me back for these, although it will never happen.

Then inform her in advance you'll deduct it from future payments, it it's that important or let it go and stop complaining, TBH.

TBH, you're in a stronger position than you realize, as looking at the figures she'd almost certainly end up financially worse off were she to bring you to court. Of course, doing so may spark off an escalation, with access being denied and so on, but you would have to decide how great this risk is and whether you're willing to stand your ground.

Owryan

Something to consider if you do go to court. In my case the judge reduced my maintenance because I have the kids 2-3 nights a week.

He said it was unreasonable to expect me to pay a weekly sum when I was already in effect providing a form of maintenance by taking them.

I still split all yearly costs such as birthdays, Xmas, school and so on.

zeffabelli

colmtheperson wrote: »

How is she spending €50 on diesel a week while not working?

School runs will be a big chunk of that, extra curriculars, play dates etc....

Plus things like parking etc.

It cost me €20 in public transport for a paediatric hospital appointment, then if you need a snack or something while you're waiting around that's another €10.

Also your figures don't make any sense.

Car insurance is very low, so is UPC and electricity. Children's allowance is 130 per child a month.

There's no fuel allowance in the summer months.

A lot of your figures are wrong.

LegacyUser

zeffabelli wrote: »

School runs will be a big chunk of that, extra curriculars, play dates etc....

Plus things like parking etc.

It cost me €20 in public transport for a paediatric hospital appointment, then if you need a snack or something while you're waiting around that's another €10.

Also your figures don't make any sense.

Car insurance is very low, so is UPC and electricity. Children's allowance is 130 per child a month.

There's no fuel allowance in the summer months.

A lot of your figures are wrong.

I don't see whats wrong with my figures.

1. Car Insurance 15 * 52 = €780, that is actually fairly high.
2. UPC is €80 a month. So technically it's (80*12/52) €18.46, but I rounded it up to 20.
3. Childrens allowance is 135 per month per child. I have it at 60 per week which is (2*135*12/52) €62.31 per week.
4. For the fuel allowance I am not sure how many months of the year it runs for, I think it's 6 months, the value is 20 a week. So 20*26/52 is €10. I may be wrong about how long it runs for.
5. In regards to medical expenses, I have no problem covering half of the cost including travel.

zeffabelli

UnsureMaintenanceDad wrote: »

I don't see whats wrong with my figures.

1. Car Insurance 15 * 52 = €780, that is actually fairly high.
2. UPC is €80 a month. So technically it's (80*12/52) €18.46, but I rounded it up to 20.
3. Childrens allowance is 135 per month per child. I have it at 60 per week which is (2*135*12/52) €62.31 per week.
4. For the fuel allowance I am not sure how many months of the year it runs for, I think it's 6 months, the value is 20 a week. So 20*26/52 is €10. I may be wrong about how long it runs for.
5. In regards to medical expenses, I have no problem covering half of the cost including travel.

I didn't know you were doing it weekly.

LegacyUser

zeffabelli wrote: »

I didn't know you were doing it weekly.

No problem , you must have thought I was a crazy person with those figures then!

Now do you think they are fair?

I've been thinking that I will probably up the maintenance to €150 when I get my salary increment, but once I buy my own place I am going to try and go for split custody and reduce the maintenance at the same time. When I get my 10% increment I am changing to shift pattern and will be working 3 days one week and 4 the next so I will have plenty of time to take the kids. I will also have time off during the week and when I am on night shift I can do the dropping and collecting from school if needed, although I'll probably be shattered!

zeffabelli

UnsureMaintenanceDad wrote: »

No problem , you must have thought I was a crazy person with those figures then!

Now do you think they are fair?

I've been thinking that I will probably up the maintenance to €150 when I get my salary increment, but once I buy my own place I am going to try and go for split custody and reduce the maintenance at the same time. When I get my 10% increment I am changing to shift pattern and will be working 3 days one week and 4 the next so I will have plenty of time to take the kids. I will also have time off during the week and when I am on night shift I can do the dropping and collecting from school if needed, although I'll probably be shattered!

So 65 a week per child?

I don't know if these things ever come down to fair.

I know mothers who get 100 per week per child and some who get nothing. I think it comes down to what the dad thinks he can afford or what the judge does.

But I think you should keep a paper trail.also as they get bigger they get more expensive so bear that in mind too.