Girlfriend does she like me because i was second pick???

rob55

Hi dont know if im being stupid but a girl im seeing for the last 2 months is only going out with me because the first guy she liked they where having a fling and stopped because he already had a girlfriend.

she works in a hostel where i was staying for a while but she said she liked me more but i didnt pick up on any of the signs she was giving out to me. thing is the fella was staying in the hostal as well where they hooked up, the same time i was staying. we were talking about it and she says it just happened. asked her if he didnt have a girlfriend would you still like him and she said i dont know.

i just feel if she really liked me she would of tried harder to get my attention than hitting on me when he lift the hostal. just feel she has more feelings towards him

sorry for the rant ask me any questions if you want more info thanks

Are you still in the hostel?

rob55

Deleted User wrote: »

Are you still in the hostel?[/QUOTE


no out of the hostal both have places of our own. she works there

Wompa1

It seems like it bothers you.

Should it? I don't know really. I'd be more worried by the fact that she's hooking up with guys she's meeting on the job. But that's just me. If you feel like she's just with you as a consolation prize. Walk away. It's not worth being in a relationship with somebody just because it's convenient for them

OnTheCouch

Personally I'd be wary of anyone who used 'it just happened' as a way of explaining any romantic encounter. In my experience, the truth is quite the opposite, that she completely intended it to happen, but doesn't want to take any responsibility for setting it up, so uses the above catch-all phrase to assuage some of her guilt and put it down to pure chance, her being drunk or him being overly forward.

Now, after that slight rant, I'd also agree with Wompa that I wouldn't be happy with her getting involved with people she meets through her work, but I suppose that is ultimately her decision.

I suspect you probably know deep down if she's really into you or just taking advantage of your company because you're a nice guy and she has no better offers. Perhaps you are looking for people here to confirm your suspicions.

Does she have that spark in her eye when talking to you, where it feels like it's just you two and no one else in the world? Does she cancel other appointments to hang out with you? Does she ever unexpectedly buy you small gifts or really go out of her way to help you out? These are all good signs (and of course there are many more similar ones you can think of) that she is genuinely interested in you and that you're not just being used as a stopgap.

Knasher

There is more to attraction than just the physical side, you also have to get to know a persons personality, and that takes time and the desire to take a leap with somebody. And the fact is, she is taking that leap with you. Maybe, on the surface, the other guy seemed more attractive to her, maybe you seemed too distant and he seemed available, maybe he was eager and she was flattered by it. And maybe if he wasn't in a relationship, she wouldn't have found out until much later that he was the type of person who has a fling with another woman behind his girlfriends back.

But if doesn't change the fact, that as she got to know him, she didn't like what she found, and she ended it. And it doesn't change the fact that she is continuing to take that leap with you.

I don't know if that is any consolation to you. All I can saw is that there are multiple ways of interpreting your situation, and it is up to you which one you decide is more correct. If you continue to feel this way, then Wompa1 is right, you should end it.