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son wants nothing to do with his father

  • 11-08-2015 10:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi all.

    i am a single mother with a son and i split from his father 9 years ago.
    my son is 11 years old.

    to put it mildy, the father is somebody who isnt exactly the best person to be around but i gave him his chance to build a relationship and he hasnt taken it, he broke some laws and went on the run for 3 years but now has come back into our life in the last 2 years.

    the courts however, recently granted him access twice a month meetings and i am bringing my son, without fail to every 1. my problem is, my son over the years has build up a complete hatred of his father and now, wants nothing to do with him as their meetings become more regular. he cries every day that he has to go and cried every evening after they meet, he is going through torture the poor little fellow and its breaking my heart. there is zero connection there but the father keeps insisting to put the child through this every second week and does nothing at all to make the suituation better - he refuses to change times of meetings to suit my or my sons availability so for instance instead of my son spending time doing things he likes, he has to sit in silence for 3 hours with a man that he hates.

    things keep happening at these meetings, for instance my son was left on his own for 15 minutes while the father went to meet somebody and on another occasion i found my son on the street on his own, having run away from him.

    the judge despite having had an independent assessment that my son shouldnt have any interaction with the father until he is older, gave access. he did say me however that he had no choice and he felt sorry for the suituation. i am allowed to request a break in this order in 6 months time, but for now i am tied.

    so what can i do? how can i put my son through this torture every 2 weeks when it is clear that he does not want to go and every week, his pain grows.

    or tldr: at what stage does my sons wishes take precidence over the court order and he is allowed to decide that he doesnt want the meetings?

    can i take a case on his behalf to over turn the order? i cannot afford solictors as i am working, he has no job and gets a full legal team to every case for free and they keep telling me that if i stop bringing the child, ill be put in jail.

    any advice is appreciate.


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