Don't like dancing...wedding invite

LegacyUser

Hi,

This isn't the most serious issue in the world but it's one that's bothering me. Basically, I don't like dancing. It's not something I ever feel the urge to do and when I try it, I feel awkward and uncomfortable. I know there are plenty of people out there who say they can't dance but who cares, they just get up and have a laugh etc etc and that's grand for them but I'm not like that. I just don't enjoy dancing at all!!

I find there is great pressure in social situations to dance and people can't seem to accept/understand that it's not something I want to do. Between the constant questions of "how can you not like dancing!??" and people then taking it upon themselves to physically try pull me onto a dance floor "cause I'll enjoy it when I'm there" - I'm finding that I'm starting to dread situations where there will be dancing,

For instance, I have recently been invited to a family wedding with a guy that I've dating. I really like this person and am hopeful that we are heading in the direction of a relationship. I'm a shy and fairly introverted person anyway and social situations with new people (my first time meeting a lot of his friends and extended family) can make me anxious. In many ways he's the opposite of me, he's outgoing, confident and....he loves dancing!! Based on what he's told me himself, once he's on the dance floor, he's there for the night. I'm at a point where I'm starting to feel extremely anxious about going to this wedding because I'm so worried about the party/disco part of it. I know I won't want to dance and I'm worried this will make me seem like the dry ****e in the corner! I'm a worrier anyway but I've surprised even myself with how worried Ive become about going to this event! Has anyone any advice on how to deal with this?

Rubberchikken

I know its easy to say but try hard to not let this bother you.
Go to the wedding enjoy the day (service food music company). Maybe at some stage in the night you might feel like dancing a little. Maybe not. Its really not worth worrying about.

Enjoy the day.

freshpopcorn

I've been to many functions, clubs etc Iver the years. I don't really like dancing and I don't have to do it and nobody takes any notice. Not everyone dances at these events.

OneOfThem

Say exactly what you've said here to your boyfriend, I'd say. You just don't like it and you're worried he'll be up dancing all night and you'll be left sitting there worrying people will think you're a dry whatever. I know in that situation I'd be doing everything I could to ensure my girlfriend didn't feel like that on the night.

blobcat

I can totally relate! Dancing makes me feel so self-conscious. I want to enjoy it but I'm too concerned about people laughing at me as I'm so awkward and uncoordinated. If it means anything, you probably feel more awkward dancing than you actually look to other people.

Tell your date that you're nervous to meet his family/friends. That way he'll know not to abandon you at any point in the reception with a table of people you don't know. As for dancing, you might find that it's not so bad when you're up there providing he will be up with you? Maybe this is just me but I wouldn't feel as self-conscious dancing if I had a partner with me, because it would take the focus off me.

Definitely let him know that you're not a fan of dancing beforehand. He doesn't sound like he would refrain from dancing completely but would at least sit out a few songs with you? You might even find that being left alone with his family/friends will get you out of your comfort zone and allow you to get to know them a bit better. There will inevitably be some other guests who aren't into dancing either.

Honestly though I think it might be one of those things that you just have to bear. Get up dancing with your bf for a few songs then duck out. That way at least you've made an appearance on the dance floor and no one can nag you about it.

Just don't overthink it!

Augme

Have you considered seeing someone about your anxiety?

uck51js9zml2yt

My wife and I don't dance. Having to learn a waltz was excruciating never mind doing it with everyone watching.
As soon as was respectable we exited the dance floor and left her parents to it(great dancers).

There will be enough people to chat to at weddings without getting stressed over a dance.

beks101

REALLY not worth getting your knickers in a twist over this.

I'm not a dancer either (unless I've had a few...then I'm the best, sexiest, hottest most irresistible dancer in the room, no joke). Last wedding I was at, I table hopped once the dance floor came to life, had some great chats with some relatives and friends of the groom, whom I didn't know so well. Was a great opportunity to get to know some people.

You'll find plenty of like-minded people sitting at tables watching or having their own chats with others - maybe you should use it as a chance to get to know some of your fella's family and friends. Maybe tell him you're excited about the wedding and can't wait to meet everyone but won't be bringing your dancing shoes as it's not your scene.

LegacyUser

I completely relate. I hate dancing and I hate when pushy people try to force me onto the dance floor. The good news is any guys I've gone out with/to weddings with are completely over the moon when I tell them I'd rather not dance - your boyfriend might be the same, so I'd explain it to him.

meeeeh

Wear really high heels and make an excuse your feet are killing you. Or say you really need to go to the toilet or disappear to get some air.

I don't like to dance, sometimes I can't avoid it but mostly I just find someone to talk to. You can still have fun and try to make an effort getting to know the friends. It's ok to be introverted but don't use it as an excuse to avoid events. Sometimes we all have to make a bit of an effort.

coolcat63

Why not be proactive and take some dancing lessons in the run up to the wedding? It would help your confidence and impress your date

tupenny

I am the exact same as you, absolutely hate dancing, even after a few too many I still won't get up. Its never a problem though, and it won't be for you either, just say out straight that you don't enjoy dancing. No big deal! Its probably the combination of the dancing and meeting his friends / family that has you anxious. I totally understand. But I can almost guarantee you you will not be the only person not interested in dancing.
Try not to worry about it, and try enjoy yourself

CaraMay

Tell him now that do don't dance even at weddings so he can 'uninvite' you if he thinks it would ruin his night. Maybe dancing is what makes an event for him and it's not fair to expect him to sit with you all nighþ at a family wedding if that's not his thing. I would explain it to him and offer not to go. Its best to talk about it now otherwise both of you coułd end up having the hump on the night - him because he has to sit down when all he wants up do us dance with his family and you because you are left sitting alone at the table / being incessantly pestered to get up and dance. Btw I hate dancing too.

spottybananas

I take social awkwardness to a whole new level with my dancing rules I dance in packed niteclubs but not at weddings, nobody sees or cares in a busy niteclubs, but wedding dance floor is too exposed (and sober). I only dance when I know a lot of the people, so at my own wedding I did because nobody disses the bride! But other than that I don't because I'm just too self conscious. I love dancing in itself, I hate dancing with others in that situation because all I can think about is how awkward I feel.

When harassed to dance at weddings I just say "nope, I don't dance". Or I tell them I'll dance later when I've had a few drinks, keep saying that long enough and they forget about it You don't have to dance, it's as simple as that.

Noo

If you find yourself own your own sitting out a dance then watch the people on the dancefloor with a smile on your face (obviously not a crazy creepy one haha) and maybe tapping along with your foot or hand....it shows that while youre not dancing that you are enjoying yourself and enjoying watching others dancing away, no one will think youre a dry****e, you're still enjoying yourself and showing youre perfectly happy watching everyone else. Nothing worse than someone moping in the corner with a face on them staring at their phone....now those are the type people will talk about, not you.

Flippyfloppy

I would definitely think there is a small number of people who don't dance at weddings. I find it can be harder to get people up on the dance floor, probably because it can be a smaller crowd/emptier floors. In a nightclub you're more anonymous and the music can be a bit dancier so more people get up.

Usually at typical weddings it's the same aunties getting up over & over! Now in saying that not all weddings are like that, at my own it seemed like most people were up a lot but we had a pretty good band & young crowd. At the same time people get up for two/three songs and head off for a drink or break.

Would you to open to a slow dance with your boyfriend, and joining any 'circles' of people around the b&g? You'd just have to stand with your arms around people and maybe kick a leg or two. At least you feel you'd be joining in and it might break the night up for you. There could be other forms of entertainment there too, like candy carts/photo booths etc, you can still have the craic with people at these things, or even at the bar or smoking area

Kenny Bania

Cocoblush wrote: »

I hate dancing and I hate when pushy people try to force me onto the dance floor.

I HATE these people - what the hell is wrong with them? Why do they even care?

I hear you, if his a good boyfriend which I'm sure he is, he should understand and do what ever it takes to make you feel comfortable with not wanting to dance. Pray for me, in a months time I am a groomsman to my brothers wedding and haven't a clue what to do. Even lessons at this stage won't safe me.