Paranoia will destroy u!

LegacyUser

Hi, my partner has had bad luck with employment and is at home now. He`s suffering from paranoia and there is no talking to him. He`s going to a counselor but its not working or they`re not understanding the full extent of his problems. Examples - he want me to keep receipts for small purchases like a few bits from tesco in case people are trying to set us up for stealing.

PinkLemonade

Whattodoaboutu wrote: »

Hi, my partner has had bad luck with employment and is at home now. He`s suffering from paranoia and there is no talking to him. He`s going to a counselor but its not working or they`re not understanding the full extent of his problems. Examples - he want me to keep receipts for small purchases like a few bits from tesco in case people are trying to set us up for stealing.

Your boyfriend is either trying to control you or has serious mental issues, they need to speak to another health care professional if the current is not working.

HistoryMania

As the previous poster has said. I don't think a counselor would work if he has mental issue. He needs to go some where to get assessed. The first point would be your GP who will then refer him to your Local Mental Health Clinic.

This is not living if he really believes that.

Exclamation Marc

You should ask your partner to see his GP who can direct and refer him from there.

Paranoia can grow in both frequency and severity so whilst the nature of the example you gave is quite small (keeping receipts) it may get worse and more serious which could affect both you and your partner.

If a counsellor is not working, then the issue should be escalated to a GP who will refer your partner to someone who can help him.

LegacyUser

Op here and thanks for all the comments. He won`t go to the GP as he thinks they are out to get him. We have a baby as well and he thinks they will try to take her off us. He can be quite aggressive, especially when he feels cornered, so I find myself tip toeing around him just to keep the peace. I asked his family for support but they don`t want to know and I don`t have any family. He knows I don`t agree with him and that I think he`s unwell. He says he will take medication but then he doesn`t, he was previously on antidepressants. He thinks the guards are out to get him and he`s on a list and everyone is watching him so he is pretty bad really. I don`t know what to do really.

stove

OP sorry to hear you are having to deal with this on your own.

It sounds like additional help besides counselling may be required here.

Would you consider going to the GP yourself for advice on the next step? He/she might be best placed to help you in this situation both in terms of getting the right help for your partner and getting support for yourself.

stove

Just one more thing OP~ It would be helpful to give the GP as much information as you can such as the examples you have mentioned here in terms of his beliefs and your lack of support from family etc.

LegacyUser

I've been thinking about that but he would be really upset with me, not sure he'd ever get over a betrayal like that.

stove wrote: »

Just one more thing OP~ It would be helpful to give the GP as much information as you can such as the examples you have mentioned here in terms of his beliefs and your lack of support from family etc.

PinkLemonade

herestheop wrote: »

I've been thinking about that but he would be really upset with me, not sure he'd ever get over a betrayal like that.

If you want to help him you need to stop letting his paranoia dictate your actions. You might be enabling his delusions.

You mentioned earlier that he asks you to keep receipts - do you?

bp

You shouldn't have to tip toe around your partner especially with a child seeing that.

I would go to GP as this will only escalate

kylith

herestheop wrote: »

I've been thinking about that but he would be really upset with me, not sure he'd ever get over a betrayal like that.

I understand why you would be concerned but if you can get him help and get him on medication he will understand why you did it.

A distant relation of mine suffers from paranoid schizophrenia and like your partner was convinced everyone, including her family, was out to get her. Getting her help was difficult but when the medication kicked in she realised how bad she had been and understood why her family did what they did, even though it seemed like betrayal at the time. These days she's so much better you'd never know anything was wrong in the first place.

Go to the GP yourself and ask for advise. If it is a mental health problem then your partner simply may not be capable of realising that something is wrong with him.

LegacyUser

Anon user here

I'm going to ask what no one else has...are you concerned for your baby?

I would be terrified. What if your partner decides one day that 'they' are coming and 'they' are going to take your child off of you...so he throws himself and your baby off the roof of the house?
Not out if badness but because he thinks she's better off and he can't bear to leave her behind?
I hope you aren't leaving the baby alone with him.
I know how hard it is dealing with someone like this and trying to get them help when they feel they don't need it.

But you have a child to protect too, so that needs to be a major consideration here.

Neyite

If you love someone, sometimes you have to make tough decisions. Right now, he's not thinking straight. You know this. Your primary responsibility right now is your child's safety.

This is why you need to talk to your GP and see can you get urgent referrals and see what help is there. He needs far more specialist help than you alone can provide. If you are just co-habiting, then you have no next of kin rights. So in that case, his GP will need to get the ball rolling maybe along with Social Services, if his family wont help.

Once he is on the mend again, he will recognise how hard it was for you and understand that you did what you had to do for his benefit, and to benefit his child and your family. But right now, you need to act.

sam34

Neyite wrote: »

If you are just co-habiting, then you have no next of kin rights. So in that case, his GP will need to get the ball rolling maybe along with Social Services, if his family wont help.

If the situation comes to an involuntary detention under the mental health act, the OP can make an application for this. If they are co-habiting for more than 3 years, the OP can use the 'spouse/civil partner' form, which is form 1. If they're living together less than 3 years they can use the 'member of the public' form, which is form 4. So if his family are unwilling to help out the op can still seek help for him herself. Best bet is to start with a discussion with the GP, who will know about the local psych services, there may be a home-based or crisis team available.

(Ps more info about forms and process is on the mental health commission website, I don't know how to post links but if you google 'mental health commission Ireland' you'll find their site, then click on 'statutory forms' to see each form)

Penny Tration

Op, you need to protect your child first and foremost.

Your partner already won't go to the doctor because he thinks they'll take your baby.

What happens if the baby is sick and needs a doctor? Will he allow your baby treatment, or refuse out of belief that they will take your baby? Will he risk his baby's life to avoid bringing the child to the doctor?

Go to your GP and speak to them. Write down lots of examples of his paranoia so you don't forget them when you're in the surgery.

Neyite

sam34 wrote: »

If the situation comes to an involuntary detention under the mental health act, the OP can make an application for this. If they are co-habiting for more than 3 years, the OP can use the 'spouse/civil partner' form, which is form 1. If they're living together less than 3 years they can use the 'member of the public' form, which is form 4. So if his family are unwilling to help out the op can still seek help for him herself. Best bet is to start with a discussion with the GP, who will know about the local psych services, there may be a home-based or crisis team available.

(Ps more info about forms and process is on the mental health commission website, I don't know how to post links but if you google 'mental health commission Ireland' you'll find their site, then click on 'statutory forms' to see each form)

Thank you.

I know very little about the process so didn't want to post incorrect information that might mislead the OP.

kjl

So in his unemployment, he isn't perchance smoking marijuana is he?

I'm not saying it affects everyone this way, but I have heard of extreme cases of paranoia for people who start to smoke it everyday. Something like 1 in 2000 people suffer from this.

I myself smoke it too, and do get paranoid, but it helps that I tell myself that I'm just being paranoid and it goes away.

Not saying this is the case with your husband, but maybe

Censorsh!t

The same situation happened a friend of mine, where her dad lost his job and paranoia, much like your partner's, set in.

Her mother eventually went to the GP herself, and it went from there. But i would advise the sooner the better.

tara73

yes, it sounds serious, the state your partner is in. can only second the recommendations to talk to the GP, tell him about the behaviour, incidents.

I think in this case, the 'betrayal', that you tell the GP about the state your partner is justified, as it's only for his wellbeing.

I hope, after you talked to the GP seperately, you can bring your partner somehow to the point to go to the GP and the GP can initiate the admission to hospital.
He needs to be in hospital to have supervision and to take medication to get him out of his paranoia.