Did wrong now what?

LegacyUser

I did 2 things wrong that I now feel guilty about and don`t know whether to do something to fix it or leave it. I stole money - it was due to me and I took it when I realised I wasn`t going to get it and I felt aggrieved. Unfortunately this fell back on someone else who was a decent person, I don`t know where this person is know or how to find them. I cheated on my partner. My partner said a long time ago she`d prefer not to know if she had been cheated on. Both of these are over 10 years ago and I`ve changed hugely as a person and am more aware now whereas before I was acting out and not very in touch with myself. I feel terrible, I`m in no way justifying what I did but it was a different person.

Rubberchikken

You could make a donation to a charity and then let it go.
After so long theres nothing you can do about these now that would benefit you or them.

Then you have to let it go. Like you said you're a different person now and you've acknowledged the mistakes you've made, so move on.

And don't be too hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes. Take care

shane9689

The fact that you're owning up to it now and feeling guilty is a good show of character. What you need to do is fix what you can and leave the rest, it was ten years ago. If you cant give the money back, then donate it or something.

Also, tell your girlfriend what happened for better or for worse it will relieve your conscious

skallywag

shane9689 wrote: »

Also, tell your girlfriend what happened for better or for worse it will relieve your conscious

I can see where you are coming from, but I think that this may just ultimately make things worse for the OP. If it was an isolated incident which happened over ten years ago then nothing good can come from bringing this to her attention now.

shane9689

Perhaps, but its obviously still eating at him as he has just brough it up ten years later. Its his call really. Personally i think it depends how malicious his intent was at the time of the incident. If he was very deceptive about it at the time, then he should say something. But if it was a complete drunken F*kc up, then maybe leave it.

Xterminator

shane9689 wrote: »

Also, tell your girlfriend what happened for better or for worse it will relieve your conscious

dont take this advice.

It might make you feel better but sure as hell wont make your partner feel better.

any now that you are a better person you will be thinking about her? i hope at some stage you get tested for STI etc?

Oryx

These things are in your past, and you need to leave them there and move on. The fact that you are remorseful says lots about the kind of person you are, and shows you are unlikely to do them again. So I say find a way to forgive yourself for them.

But also, you need to figure out why they are playing on your mind now. Is there something else wrong, or new stresses or worries that are making you rake over the past?

shane9689

as nice as everyones "its in the past, youre different now" advice is....i dont really buy it. Actions speak louder than words. Saying youre a better person but not taking the actions to prove it, ultilmately means jack. I guess im just one of those few believe in a pure path (im not claiming to be a saint, im a sinner most definitely) but read Dantes purgatory, it had a point. repentence is nothing without penance... also, im agnostic, so im not being religious but i do feel there is something to gain from keeping your concious clean of guilt.....

Im not trying to be mean, but obviously this has been bothering you for many years, so the idea that "forgetting it" will make it go away obvously hasnt worked these past 10 years. Clearing your mind of this weight wont lead to garunteed happiness, but it will remove your guilt.

Boskowski

Xterminator wrote: »

i hope at some stage you get tested for STI etc?

After 10 years?!? I'd imagine they'd both know by now if he contracted something.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for your input. I didn`t have oral or penetrative sex so no need for an STI check, to me cheating is cheating tho. I am going to try to forget about it and stop being so hard on myself.