Vow renewal etiquette?

pwurple

We've been invited to a vow renewal.

Never been to one of these before. It's in a hotel, with meal and entertainment, the wife will be in a long dress, the husband in a suit, and the children are participating.

Do we treat this the same as a wedding?
Dress & Hat
Gift
Card

What's the deal, oh wise boardsies who have been to these before?

Rackstar

Never been to one either but have wondered why do people do this?

pwurple

Rackstar wrote: »

Never been to one either but have wondered why do people do this?

Era, I can think of a few reasons...

Something went wrong at the first wedding and they want a re-do.
Got married religiously, coming back to do legal.
Got married legally coming back to do religious.
Got married abroad, want to do local.
Eloped, want to do wedding.
Were separated, have gotten back together.
Someone has some terminal disease, this is one last hooley.

MrWalsh

Would you treat it the same as a wedding?

Ive never been to one but Id be inclined to treat it more like an Anniversary than a wedding I think. So probably smaller gift, less formal outfit than for a wedding.

PhoenixParker

How long are they married and did they have a "wedding" originally.

If they're married a short time and this is effectively they're wedding (e.g. they had something small and quick for visa reasons) then I'd treat it like a wedding. Otherwise I'd treat it like a big birthday or anniversary party. Like they're 30th wedding anniversary and this is a party to celebrate. The renewal part being incidental.

Milly33

Mum went to kinda something similar lately, well as such twas the irish part of the wedding. he done something similar.

They still dressed up just not fancy fancy and whipped around with a few friends going and gave what they could

Toots

Honestly it wouldn't have occurred to me to give a 'wedding sized 'gift to a vow renewal, I'd probably bring a card and a small token gift. I suppose it all depends on the circumstances, ie as was said above if the person was recently married abroad and this was the home party bit and they decided to do a vow renewal as part of it, then I'd probably give the same as if I was going to the wedding.

If they only had a big wedding a couple of years ago and are now doing a vow renewal I think it'd be unreasonable to expect a load of presents. How long are they married OP?

pwurple

Married somewhere around ten years I think.

Arbiter of Good Taste

pwurple wrote: »

Married somewhere around ten years I think.

To be honest, I can't see why they would expect a gift

deisemum

I don't think they would expect guests to give gifts like at a wedding, maybe something small as a token.

I renewed my vows 12+ years ago but had a party at home after the church part and I didn't expect presents and had said the same to the guests but most people gave us a small present anyway.

willow tree

It'd be nice to mark the occasion with a thoughtful card & small gift. Enjoy the occasion.