no first dance

willow tree

Hi..its not until next year but we've decided we don't want a first dance. Did anyone else do this? Does the music just start.. or I was thinking we could go with our kids & get the dj to encourage people to join us in our first dance (maybe a dancy tune )..any thoughts appreciated. Thanks

Milly33

that sounds loverly willow tree if ye invited the kids up and done something with them. I think the whole idea around the first dance is so that people gather for the music to start so doing something different would be great fun.. the more fun the better

Miss Demeanour

I'd go with something like "that's what friends are for".....get everyone on their feet....join in the moment with ye.....
Just a thought

labin_86

My sister isn't having one at all as she is pretty uncomfortable with the thought of it.
I personally think its a good way to get the party going a little bit and its nice for everyone to have a good look at ye
I love the idea of having the kids up and making it a bit of a celebration, it sounds really lovely.

willow tree

Thanks for the feedback :-) me & the kids love a boogie around the house (everything from hall & oates, ac/dc to Taylor swift) but my dp is so stressed already at the thought of a first dance so this may work as it takes the focus & pressure off him. Thanks, appreciate the thoughts.

willow tree

Also I never thought about what yer saying, the first dance starting the party. It does, doesn't it. Kind of sets the tone :-)

fits

willow tree wrote: »

Also I never thought about what yer saying, the first dance starting the party. It does, doesn't it. Kind of sets the tone :-)

We didnt have an official big deal first dance.but we did have a wee dance shortly after the band started which sort of worked out like one.

stinkle

willow tree wrote: »

Also I never thought about what yer saying, the first dance starting the party. It does, doesn't it. Kind of sets the tone :-)

I'm a firm believer in do whatever is most comfortable, and love your orignal idea, esp with the kids! But if ye do forego a first dance, maybe make it known (eg DJ/band urge everyone to get up and dance, have a bop with your bridesmaids/friends or take that moment to throw your bouquet or something). I was at an afters where the music was kinda different, and I think they had the same instrumental band playing earlier on during drinks reception. No one was really sure if it was a low-key musical interlude before the "main" party kicked off, or if that was it and they just werent going to do a dance. It was a bit awkward cos obv no one wanted to beat the couple onto the dancefloor but it was getting late and no one wanted to be sitting around looking like we were bored if we were allowed dance!

An Bhanríon

Tell a few people that you can depend on that you're not having a first dance and ask them to get up and dance at the beginning. If you and the kids are up as well, people will cop on pretty soon that they can go out dancing too. The dj/band can help you out too.

And if anybody says to you 'sure you HAVE to have a first dance' (this my very well happen :-)), just give them your best smile and tell them 'nah, it's not our thing'!

whiskeyman

An Bhanríon wrote: »

Tell a few people that you can depend on that you're not having a first dance and ask them to get up and dance at the beginning. If you and the kids are up as well, people will cop on pretty soon that they can go out dancing too. The dj/band can help you out too.
!

Deffo get the band to help you here along with the wedding part - one of the band members can say something like 'ok ladies and gentleman, it's time for the first dance and the bride and groom want *everybody* on the dance floor to be part of the fun!* and kick it off!

Milly33

It doesn't have to be a big fancy dance if it would ease your other halfs fear as such... But as all said just do what ye like...

I had an idea there, but the songs are kinda slow so not sure will we go with it or not.

If you had family members sisters, brothers there who are married already you could ask them what songs they had their first dance and have them all step out first to dance to a little bit of their song (this would be all their songs mashed into the one song so it would not be a full song of each) play one that couple start, then the next song the other couple come out.

And ye could have yer song at the end most people then will be watching the others to and ye wont be the only ones out there.. You could end it then with a epic Disney song for the kids or Let there be Rock...

Dial Hard

willow tree wrote: »

Also I never thought about what yer saying, the first dance starting the party. It does, doesn't it.

It definitely does. I was at a wedding a few years back where the couple didn't do a first dance and no-one else would get up and dance either because they were waiting for the bride & groom to kick it off. The couple eventually copped what was happening and just got up for a bop (as opposed to a formal first dance) and that sparked a veritable stampede to the dancefloor.

Riskymove

a sort of compromise is rather than just bride and groom for first dance to have full bridal party and parents etc

jlm29

Why don't you get all the bridal party, and close family on board to do the first dance with ye and the kids. People will surely get the picture then!

Milly33

Good idea Jlm

willow tree

Loving the feedback! Its a smaller wedding. Humanist Ceremony in the garden (well if sun shows).. one bridesmaid & best man. so I just didn't want confusion so I'll definitely say it to a few extroverts to get up with us & I'll get the dj to say we'd like everyone to share the first dance. Now to pick an awesome song.
Milly that could be gorgeous but it wouldn't work with our families.

willow tree

fits wrote: »

We didnt have an official big deal first dance.but we did have a wee dance shortly after the band started which sort of worked out like one.

A friend of mine did this & it was really sweet & casual, no pressure.

Milly33

Well now glad we could help willow tree, it sounds like a lovely wedding...

Mm songs can be tough so they can. Think if you narrow it down to styles it would be easier..

tradhead

The fact that you've mentioned Hall and Oates I think you should definitely consider "You make my dreams come true"- it's such a fun song to dance too and would be so cute with all the kids bouncing around!

(I'm nowhere near the getting married stage but it's secretly been one of my top picks for a first dance myself!)

Milly33

Just listening to it tis great. Must put them on our own play list

Milly33

I never knew that was what they were called thanks OP

Extraplus

We didn't do a first dance. It wasn't that big a deal, when the band started playing, people (myself included) started dancing.

willow tree

tradhead wrote: »

The fact that you've mentioned Hall and Oates I think you should definitely consider "You make my dreams come true"

Oh my god! Yes I can see that now, brilliant! Love that song :-)
Thanks

sweetie

This is becoming more common and I find its advisable to have the bridal party in the floor to kick off proceedings even for just one song. Then the band or DJ simply inform the guests this is the first song and ask them to join in. Two memorable ones I've done have been 'Gold digger' by kanye west and 'we are your friends' by JUSTICE.

Milly33

Willow Tree you have runined me... Sitting here this morning bopping away to Hall and Oats himself is shocked about how many albums they have... I cant believe I never knew their name.. Hoping to get a vinyl of them already ..... thanks love it going to go nicely with the playlist

eviltwin

No first dance here either, its more common than you think. Get a good stomping floor filler on and you won't have to worry about people not getting up to dance.

snickerpuss

I was dreading doing the first dance. I'm a terrible dancer and I don't like being the centre of attention. Our band said that people are very slow to get up when there's no first dance so we went for it.

On the day, I was so elated and happy and comfortable that I barely noticed it, it may as well have been the two of us up there. The track didn't start initially and I still didn't care. If you don't want to, don't. But it's weird how chilled out I was on the wedding day.

willow tree

Milly I'm glad to hear!:-) I'm a hall & oates super fan. Love all the 80's stuff (much to dp's embarrassment).

Snickerpuss that's so lovely. I hope that's the case for us too

Birdie086

snickerpuss wrote: »

I was dreading doing the first dance. I'm a terrible dancer and I don't like being the centre of attention. Our band said that people are very slow to get up when there's no first dance so we went for it.

On the day, I was so elated and happy and comfortable that I barely noticed it, it may as well have been the two of us up there. The track didn't start initially and I still didn't care. If you don't want to, don't. But it's weird how chilled out I was on the wedding day.

My husband is very awkward, he wanted to do lessons for the first dance. I refused, suggested not thinking about it all. We picked a song a few nights before the wedding, and forgot about it again until the band called us.

We may as well have been the only two people in the room. We completely forgot about everyone around us and it one my happiest memories from the day.

My suggestion is not to sweat the small stuff so much, in the grand scheme of things they are not important. Do what ye feel comfortable with.

jluv

I was at a wedding recently where they didnt want to do a first dance. Wrecking my head to think of the song that they chose bt it was a foot stomping catchy one. Wedding couple got on the floor accompanied by the smaller kids. Band announced that the first dance was a special song chosen by one of the kids and invited everyone to join them on the dancefloor. Everyone got up and did the big circle and then the band followed it with more catchy tunes thus keeping everyone on the dancefloor:D I forgot to sit down all night!!

willow tree

That's adorable jluv! I'd love that. Also we really love our music so if it works out that people are up dancing all night, we'll be very happy :-)

stickybookmark

willow you're a wise woman.
The first dance is aaaaaawwwful. Uncomfortable, awkward and the photos are cr@p coz usually the b+g are singing along to the song which does not make for good photos as lips are in weird shapes.
The ideal photo would be b+g staring into each other's eyes and smiling but that felt way too fake/posed to me in front of all that crowd ...couldn't pull it off

For photos though I probably should have practiced that doey eyed look with OH while doing an awkward shuffle round our sitting room floor in advance of the wedding

willow tree

Just back from a big wedding. The couple had choreographed a dance! They were amazing but they are both used to being on stage. Anyway dp said not a chance he's doing anything like that. So I'm just getting up with kids & I'll ask some friends etc up too & dj to say everyone join in.

willow tree

Lol stickybookmark I don't know if too many couples can pull it off without it being a bit cringe :-D
oh to be able to perfect that doe eyed image.