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Hocd, Ocd, Anxiety and intrusive thoughts ðŸ˜”

Ciara M26 · 2015-07-26 20:55:41

Hi guys I'm looking for help on intrusive thoughts and anxiety it's driving me crazy and I don't think I can cope anymore. I am a 25 year old female and as long as I can remember have been a worrier I remember as a child if I seen anything on the news that could possibly happen I wouldn't sleep at night for weeks worrying.…

26-07-2015 8:55pm

#1

Ciara M26

Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭

Join Date: March 2012

Posts: 12

Hi guys I'm looking for help on intrusive thoughts and anxiety it's driving me crazy and I don't think I can cope anymore. I am a 25 year old female and as long as I can remember have been a worrier I remember as a child if I seen anything on the news that could possibly happen I wouldn't sleep at night for weeks worrying. But in the past three years it's gotten significantly worse I always had anxiety and have suffered from brief panic attacks too.

However three years ago I was simply out walking my dog when I was thinking about my little sister visiting for a sleepover which I thought would be a distraction for my anxiety having someone over.I suddenly had this awful awful thought about what if I kill her in her sleep? It didn't stop for days and days then eventually I stayed up the whole night worrying afraid I would smother her in my sleep. I am also a big animal lover but I seen a video on Facebook of a man punching a dog in the throat my stomach was sick replaying this over and over again I would leave my dog in the opposite room and not have her sit next to me In case I lost control and did that to her I also had thoughts of what if I stab myself I would have to take out knives home alone and tap them close to me to be sure I wouldn't act on it this too went on for weeks.

Aside from all this its the recent one that has been really really bothering me more then I can explain I read something about women turning gay that are married ect a work friend then jokingly made a comment messing saying I was gay I am now transfixed on the thoughts that maybe I am gay even though I have always been attracted to men and my dream is to marry a man these gay thoughts are making me physically sick and my anxiety has hit the roof I am very feminine and have very old fashioned views on gender roles I see certain jobs as men's jobs ect and take great pride in being feminine and a real ladys women being a typical girly girl who wants and needs a man.I have had awful luck with men and never had a long term relationship but that is all I desire in life for as long as I can remember as a child so these thoughts are very distressing but they seem to be lasting the longest I keep checking my attraction to men and women and testing myself but this is making it worse. I have read about ocd hocd and have thought this as a possibility as my father has ocd these thoughts are ruining my life please help ðŸ˜”ðŸ˜”

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