Life Begins at 40

Kwiecien

Howdy.

Thought this would be the best forum to discuss this.

I will be 40 very soon. In my 20's i was very relaxed and didn't stress over stuff, but as i got older life threw a lot of ****e at us (husband's health problems) it made me very serious and stressed - not the fun loving kinda crazy girl my husband marrried! Things have settled for him now although he is almost blind.

I'm looking forward to being 40. Most of my friends have already celebrated the big 4-oh. Husband is heading for 50 so more partying for us (yay!)

The main reason I'm looking forward to it is, apparently when you're over 40 you don't give a **** about most things - the bullsh#t stuff like work, other people's opinions etc....That's what I've been told by 2 different people. Thing is, i really really want this to be true! For his and my sake!

So did it happen to you? Did you become this relaxed zen-like person as you got older?

looksee

I think there is some truth in it, but it does depend on your personality and it doesn't happen magically overnight! I think (speaking as someone who is about 3 decades ahead of you) that its a bit older than 40, I found my 40s were a bit hard work tbh, but that was just my circumstances.

It does sound as though you are coming out of a difficult period and I think the best suggestion is to say, right, that's all behind us now, lets make the best of it and enjoy life! Enjoying life is not necessarily holidays or partying (though those can certainly happen), its appreciating the small stuff - being aware of the good things, a nice day, some flowers in the house, a cup of tea with a friend, enjoying a walk or listening to music with your husband.

There is a saying, 'when I was 20 I worried about what people thought of me, when I was 40 I didn't care what people thought of me, and when I was 60 I realised that people weren't thinking about me at all' and that is very true! But in the meantime, just get on with it and make the best of things, live for now, we waste a lot of our lives waiting for circumstances to change or things to happen And Happy Birthday when it comes!

Pulsating Star

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Jellybaby1

Fun just means something different in my 60's to when I was in my 20's, 30's, 40's...etc. You are still evolving.......every decade you leave your chrysalis behind and become a different type of butterfly. Don't worry about it, because worry makes you look older than you really are! Just get on and deal with it! You never know what is around the corner, and that's true for every decade. I've been telling my children that when they got down and depressed, and I was right, nice things can still happen, so go forward with positive expectation. (Crikey, hark at me!!)

boobar

Here's my take on it...

I'm in my mid 40s with a young kid, as the kid gets older things get a lot easier in looking after her. I'm taking a month off soon to spend time with her. That kind of stuff keeps you young.

From a social life perspective I pretty much do what I want and have no problem saying no to invites or taking part in things I have no interest in. That keeps me happy.

From a work thing, I'm very experienced at what I do, really enjoy my work and earn a very good wage. I made a decision recently to step off the career ladder for the next 6 years so I could spend time with my kid and di things like take a month off with her. So the work thing is working for me so to speak.

Hobbies - I like to try new things but still enjoy the old things from my youth particular bands, good movies....Just do what you want and enjoy it, don't not do it because some people would say you're too old to be enjoying that kind of stuff...

Radio5

On some ways,life became easier after 40. As mentioned above, I began to care less and less of what others think.

This can be a challenge because others, even good friends, are keen to tell you exactly what they think, especially if you are single as I am. I have heard about "dating apps/ speed dating/the internet dating/the cycling/walking/kayaking/singing/dancing/tag rugby/you name it Club and how X Y and Z all met a partner there and how fab it is and of course you should try it" at least a thousand times.

Thanks to the recession and redundancy, I'm now retraining for a new career. So money continues to be a problem and will be for a while to come. I have had to accept that I cannot have the home/pastimes/social life/holidays or buy the things that I might have in the past. But they are just things. You get by if your head is in the right space and only you can put it there. Yes, I have lost people who told me how boring I was because I couldn't go anywhere anymore and Iwas so careful with money. But I live without them and once I have my health and family, I really have all I need.

Jellybaby1

Well said, Radio5

beauf

I think its hard to make sweeping generalisations as not everyone is at the same point in their life at 40. There's a huge variation.

looksee

beauf wrote: »

I think its hard to make sweeping generalisations as not everyone is at the same point in their life at 40. There's a huge variation.

Well, that is true too, but its a good excuse to discuss the fact that we do change as we get older, and reflect on how and when the changes happen.