Wanting To Starve Myself

LegacyUser

I'm 190 pounds, 5 foot 7 and miserable. I've been unhappy with my weight for over a year, and in April I became 100% determined to lose it. Whenever I do lose five to ten pounds, something comes along and causes me to go into a spell of emotional eating or I get too busy and can't exercise/spend time preparing healthy food (e.g. have Tesco sandwiches for lunch because I forgot I'd be out all day), or I went on holidays for three weeks and ended up gaining three pounds (darn ice-creams).

It's gotten to the stage where I want to starve myself to try and lose weight, and sometimes do go from breakfast at 7:30am with nothing until dinner, but I know that can mess up your metabolism. I did that before and it messed with my head, had me nervous, anxious, afraid to eat and I became physically unwell and was fainting. I really felt like every bite was going straight to the hips. I was 14 then, 21 now. My grandmother made sure I ate more as she realised I was fainting from hunger at the time.

I work different hours each day - one day could be 9am - 9pm, another could be 4-11pm. I love the job and it suits my college schedule perfectly as it's casual work, so it's no big deal if I say I can't work a day, but going to a weight loss group is out the window as I can't give up shifts just to make the group. I want to join a gym but I honestly haven't the money. I run three times a week (four times depending on my work schedule) and I count calories like I'm currently counting my pennies. I'm at a loss as to what I could change.

I just needed to vent that. If anybody has any advice on what to do when I do feel like not eating when hungry, that'd be great (maybe ways to motivate myself).

R.D. aka MR.D

If you starve yourself to lose weight you'll get sick or eventually just put it all back on again.

If you are really getting to the point where you feel like this is overwhelming then go to your GP. They might have a free one in your University?

I lost a lot of weight about 5 years ago and do a pretty good job at maintaining it.I know what you're going through. Are you making the right choices? You say that you will have a tesco sandwich if you are busy. Why not a salad? A great lunch on the go is one if those cucumber roll sushi fro M&S and a piece of fruit or another low calorie snack.

To put on 5-10 pounds would take a good bit of prolonged bad choices. If you slip up, say 'okay' and then resolve to do better. Don't make a bad choice and then follow it up with another bad choice. Starving yourself also makes you more likely to make those bad choices.

If you are counting calories and not losing weight, then there might be something wrong. Eating too little or a medical problem could be to blame.

If you are really struggling with this and it's not just a willpower issue then go to your GP and they can give you a lot of advice on weight loss.

You can do it! And you can do it in a healthy way!!!

MissFlitworth

Hello, naturally fat person here. You shouldn't starve yourself, and not (just) for all the really good reasons like it's going to make you sick or it screws with your mental health but because you won't lose weight. Not eating from 7.30 till late evening just means that one of those evenings you will absolutely lose control and slam a whole week's calories into yourself. So all the misery will have been for naught. Or you'll feel like shaky hell trying to get home in the evening and end up knocking back a rake of cereal bars to help you feel ok again. I actually can't think of a *better* way to throw on a load of weight than to try and starve yourself, it inevitably ends in a binge because, ya know, you're starving and your blood sugars are low and you have less control than ever you normally would have. (Source: most big 'chunks' of weight gain I've ever had in my life came the other side of a ridiculous diet. I've never been fatter than I was 2 months after a go of the cabbage soup plan, for example)

Weight loss involves planning and an acceptance that it's not a short term fix. Your weight may go (temporarily) up as well as down but over months the pattern will be that it does go down. There's a really good Fitness & Nutrition forum here you could take a look at to get some support and ideas.

Jotunheim

I don't think you need the ideas you're looking for, I think you need a whole different set of ideas. You're not particularly overweight and you need to address your attitude to health and food more than you need to lose weight, your mind-set right now seems to be a far bigger health issue for you. I don't know what resources are available to you, such as counsellors or doctors, but you need to find that out and access those services before you damage your health with the pattern you've adopted and which you will make worse if you continue as you are.

fussyonion

I'm trying to lose weight and for the first time in my life, I have actually been educated on food and how it affects the body.

If you starve yourself, your body will panic and think "Hey, no food going in, we're not letting go of what calories we have/Not going to burn anything off, we need it!".

So if you eat something small every few hours, you're making your metabolism work for you.

Starving yourself could put you on the slippery slope to anorexia or bulimia.
And also, when you do eat, you're going to go mad on food and possibly binge.

Eating something small every few hours is perfect as it keeps you satisfied and not ravenously hungry at meal-times.

I'm having things like a boiled egg & wholegrain toast for breakfast, a few hours later I'll have a small pot of Greek yogurt with berries if I'm peckish.

Lunch will be a large mixed salad of lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, red onion, sweetcorn, radishes and whatever meat or cheese I have in the fridge.
Make salads colourful & varied to entice you into eating them.

Drink lots of water.
Dinner can be whatever you'd normally have but try a smaller portion and maybe swap carbs for veg if you're inclined to go mad on things like spuds, rice or pasta, or just weigh your carbs and be careful you're not going overboard.

Snacks like unsalted nuts, fruits, lean meats and cheeses are excellent and full of vitamins and minerals.

Make your food as interesting as possible.
Don't eat something you don't like just because you think it's what you should be eating.
If you make your food interesting and appetising, you're more likely to actually eat it and enjoy it.


I've been where you are; I thought starving myself was the only way to lose weight, but it's not.
And what kind of life are you going to have if you do it?
You'll be miserable.

I lost 9 and a half pounds in my first week of healthy eating and going to the gym.
I stunned myself and couldn't believe it as I had eaten so much; but it was good food I was eating and I cut down my carbs.

In my second week, I stopped snacking because I wasn't hungry and guess what? I went up a pound.

I know you said can't afford the gym but have you rang a few gyms to see if they offer a pay-as-you-go service?
My gym does.

Getting to the gym was the best thing I ever did as I found I actually enjoyed working out and I've met some lovely people and nobody judges you.

If you really cannot afford the gym, take up walking.
I used to walk five times a week, for 30 minutes, when I couldn't afford the gym and it really helped.

I hope I've been of some help to you, but like Miss Flitworth said, it would be great if you could head to the Fitness & Nutrition forum where there's a load of helpful info and people in the know.

Good luck.

R.D. aka MR.D

Jotunheim wrote: »

You're not particularly overweight

I think that's for a doctor to determine. People being even slightly underweight or overweight can have consequences for physical health.

Meauldsegosha

Some good advice for the posters already. I've lost three stone over the last year and what helped me stay on track was preparation. On my days off work I would chop my veg for salads or meals for the week ahead, make my dinners for the week and freeze them. I always had eggs in the fridge, quick and easy to prepare and a healthy meal.

Dial Hard

Jotunheim wrote: »

You're not particularly overweight.

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

I think that's for a doctor to determine. People being even slightly underweight or overweight can have consequences for physical health.

Agreed. She's 13 and a half stone. At 5' 7" that really is quite a bit of extra weight.

OP, you've been given some really good advice here. All I'd add is that I think you need to change the way you think about food as well as just what and how much you eat. Try to stop seeing it as an obstacle you have to surmount and instead think of it as an incredible ally in achieving a healthy body. Don't use it to reward or punish yourself, if possible.

Buzzfeed had a great article on the best way to approach fat loss a while ago, I'd definitely recommend reading it - http://www.buzzfeed.com/sallytamarkin/the-deal-with-body-fat

Good luck, and as Miss Flitworth said, if you fall off the wagon on a particular day, don't beat yourself up too much. Accept it, dust yourself off, then get back on it.

MrWalsh

Im trying to lose weight and I started 2 weeks ago.

My food intake follows a set pattern so what I am doing is this:

breakfast - I have porridge and a piece of fruit. I weighed a typical mornings porridge (120g) and I took 1/3 off it so now I have 80g. Tbh, I dont even notice the difference.

lunch - in work I tend to have 3 ryvita with cheese/ham. I left this as is.

Piece of fruit in the afternoon, if Im starving I have a few (a FEW, like 6) nuts. I normally dont need the nuts.

Dinner, I basically cut the portion size down by 1/3 or a half if it was a particularly greedy type of dinner (anything with pasta). I allow myself a normal sized sunday dinner.

I cut out all biscuits, bars etc...

In the first week I lost 4.5 lb and this week I am on track to have lost 2.5 lb (I knew itd be more the first week). Bit of a blip last weekend when I drank too much sugary booze but food has been ok and I havent really felt hungry except the first couple of nights. Which is weird because it means I have been way overeating the amount I need to feel satisfied on my dinner!

I know its going to be slow but to be honest, if I lost 2lb a week for 2 months that would be more than 1 stone and Id actually be very happy with that although Id like to be 10 stone (lower on me looks a bit too thin imo), Im currently just over 12 stone (so I was more than 12 and a half when I started).

My big problem is that I gain weight very slowly and suddenly I look in the mirror and realise Im over 12 stone again - it happens over about 2 years usually. Then I diet it back down to 10 stone or less and then I am grand for a while, then slowly, slowly back up again. Im only 5ft 2 though so 12 stone+ looks very bad on me.

njs030

You said youre counting calories but didn't say what your daily total is? When you exercise are you eating those calories back or keeping them seperate?

My fitness pal is a great app to help you keep track of calories and more importantly nutrition. Also things like birth control can affect weight loss so it's worth looking at that too.

MightyMandarin

I've nothing much to add as the advice from posters above is spot on, but what I will say is to head on over to the Fitness forum and you'll find a wealth of info from loads of helpful posters, some of whom have great fat loss stories themselves. There are also a few posters who are PT's or gym owners so they'll be a great help too.

Just stop starving yourself as it's only going to harm you and you'll never end up better from it. I know you must feel crap about your weight but always remember that you can lose it; you just need to have the knowledge and work ethic to do it. You clearly want to make a change so you've taken the first step. Now it's time go ahead and do it.

dafunk

I've struggked with being underweight most of my adult life so maybe I'm not the best person to advise you but I've learned alot about food and nutrition over the years.

Firstly, do not starve yourself all day and then eat an evening meal. Your body will try to store fat reserves if youre not eating regularly and you will gain weight.

Secondly, eat 6-10 small meals a day. Little and often is the way to do it.

Thirdly, do not "diet". A diet is a punishment and very few people can adhere to it. You need to change your relationship with and attitude towards food, perhaps a psychologist or counsellor in the college can help with this. I think that appreciation of good healthy food is vital. Having a good understanding of nutrition can help a lot in this respect, knowing where your food is coming from, what ingredients are in it and how the body processes it can really help in making good decisions about meals.

Good luck!

beks101

To be honest, any well-versed weight or fitness expert or nutritionist could come along here and spell out a healthy diet for you with a fat-loss goal in mind and it would make feck all difference to you. And I think you know that. This isn't about getting the "perfect diet plan" together, this is about learning to handle your emotions WITHOUT it affecting your relationship with food, fitness and your body.

You saying that you'll lose ten pounds and start emotional eating til you've gained it all back says it all. You're an emotional eater. And despite the tangible discomfort and misery and depression and loss of self esteem surrounding your current size, the fact is that your weight and your fat is serving a purpose for you. On a subconscious level, you're afraid of losing it. Why? Close your eyes and picture being slim, fit and with a healthy relationship with food, minus the starvation and binges and avoiding "bad foods" only to binge on them later, etc. What else would you do, if you didn't have food to turn to? How would you feel, knowing you couldn't binge anymore just because you've lost a few pounds already and are having a bad day?

I'd highly recommend reading Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach as a means to understanding what subconscious function the weight and the food issues are serving you. It won't fix you and it won't serve as a diet self-help book, but it will put you on the road to self-discovery and self-awareness. Without walking down that road, nothing is going to change for you.

To be honest, I've struggled with food and body image issues since I was about 18 years old (30 now), it's only in the last year or two that I've actually let go of the weird food 'rules' and eating habits and exercise-as-penance regimes that I've begun to feel happy and confident in my own skin.

If you use food to punish yourself, nothing will ever be 'enough'. Trust me, you will be miserable forever. I was never huge, but at my heaviest, I was engaging in the same starve-binge cycle that you speak of. Same for any of my family or friends who I've seen struggle with their weight over the years. Starving yourself and eating once a day or avoiding food because you've overeaten and then bingeing and round and round we go...is a surefire way of keeping your weight up and your metabolism down and your mental health on edge. It's signalling to your body that it can't trust you to provide it with food - fuel to keep it going - so in turn it's going to latch onto your body fat and hold on for dear life as a survival mechanism.

I now eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and whatever else I'm feeling like throughout the day as my hunger emerges. If I undereat one day, I WILL overeat eventually and I'll feel miserable and bloated and stuffed and sad, so I simply don't diet anymore. It's not worth the mental trauma. I can't be a vibrant, happy, productive person if I'm wasting my mental energy that way.

The only thought process I go through before I'm about to eat something is "am I hungry? How is this going to make me feel?" and if the answer is "no" and "sh1t" I move on with my life. Because it's too bloody short to waste on chastising myself for eating something I didn't really need and that will slow me down physically and tear me up mentally. And yes, sometimes I really need that cheesecake because cheesecake is bloody nice and who am I to deprive myself of the nice things in life all the time. I just no longer need to eat the WHOLE cheesecake because I've been starving myself all week and then need to go and run twenty miles in the gym as punishment.

So read that book. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Yes, you're overweight now, but that's not the very essence of who you are. That's something to work on that can eventually make your life better, like I need to work on my patience or my skin or my personal best running mile, or whatever. There's other parts of you that are deadly and that deserve respect. Like your eyes or your lips or your personality, your compassion for other humans, your sense of humour. Big those up while you're working on your health and fitness. The way you get to a healthy weight is through self love, not self hate.

Keep up the running, maybe start walking to and from work, buy a few cheap dumbbells or a kettlebell from Argos and spend 20 minutes a day doing some strength exercises. Train for a 10k. Prep a few healthy lunches for a few days in a row and stick to them, you'll save yourself a handy few quid and give yourself a boost in terms of your ability to self-discipline and self-motivate. It's all of these little things that eventually pay off. And read that book, get to know yourself.

I'll end my rant by saying I've come to learn so much about myself through my food issues. I know and like myself so much more because of it. I know that I'm a perfectionist and a self-starter and need to figure out my own head on things before following inane random one-size-fits-all advice from anyone else. I'm a smart cookie and just need to trust myself on things, because my instinct always knows what's best, if I clear out all the white noise of "should be" or "need to be". And perhaps what defines me is my compassion towards others - once you've struggled with something like this, you understand addiction and depression and low self esteem and body-image distortion and all of the things that are part of the human experience - and you can relate to most people who walk into the same room as you.

Best of luck. Quit looking for that "perfect diet plan", slow things down a few notches and just endeavour to get to know and like yourself. It's impossible to self destruct when you truly know and like yourself.

NedNew2

The op is about 85kg, a little over weight alright but very fixable.

Op, you should lose no more than 1kg a week, that's the healthy way to do it. I've done it and its easier and more sustainable than I imagined.

Eat smaller portions, drink more water and use up more energy through exercise. Don't go mad on the exercise either, you'll burn out if you do. Steady and determined is what you need.

You'll lose those luxury kilos if you stay focused, its not as hard as you might think.

sm213

The best thing you can do is to not overthink it.
I always found if I decided to diet all I could think of was food meaning I'd fail miserably after a week or so.
What I do is simple changes like adding more veg in to anything I eat. Salad in a sandwich or eating a big varied salad with dinner. Eat the salad/ veg first. You actually feel better in yourself the better you eat.
I also cut down a lot on carbs and its so nice without that horrible bloated feeling.
I'm the same height as you and am naturally a carry weight on my belly and hips two kids by section has not helped the situation.
I'm losing weight gradually and although that was not my aim this time it's a good feeling.
Aim for a healthy diet rather than dieting.
Eat well get out and about a bit and be happy.
Don't be scared to have a piece if cake now and then.
As long as you eat well most of the time then you'll be fine e.
Don't expect dramatic results either, slow and steady wins the race. And you're more likely to keep it off that way too.

rcarroll

fix what's making you comfort/emotional eat if you can or at least learn to recognise the triggers and find a different outlet such as sport to cope with stress/anger/sadness.

Secondly, fix the lack of time problem - plan meals for the week during the weekend or whatever day you have free so you know what you'll be eating and don't grab whatever you can when you're starving- do a weekly shop and buy everything you need to set you up, cook a few meals and have them in the freezer, have a few 'fast' meal ideas that are still healthy. Use the cooking forum/online. Bring lunches with you (make them the night before).

Also, read up about food and calories and nutritional value...do an honest count of your intake and see are there small ways to trim calories. I discovered under-eating caused more problems as you're weak and hungry, you tend to turn to sugar to boost energy...best to eat balanced regular healthy meals. Good luck

santana75

beks101 wrote: »

To be honest, any well-versed weight or fitness expert or nutritionist could come along here and spell out a healthy diet for you with a fat-loss goal in mind and it would make feck all difference to you. And I think you know that. This isn't about getting the "perfect diet plan" together, this is about learning to handle your emotions WITHOUT it affecting your relationship with food, fitness and your body.

This is it exactly, it has nothing to do with a training plan or gyms or anything like that. Its about emotions, and most importantly, your self image and how you feel about who you are. The answer is not to exercise more and count claories. Counting calories is madness, it leads to an unhealthy preoccupation with food. There was a famous study done in 1950, called the Keys study and in it 36 healthy men where asked to lose 25% of their body weight following a semi starvation diet for 6 months. This was followed by 3 months of rehab, during which the men were refed. During the starvation phase however, Keys and his associates noticed some strange things were happening to the men. The men became obsessed and preoccupied with food and eating. The had extreme difficulty focusing on anything other than food. The men reported intense feelings of starvation and hunger so much so that alot of them started to binge eat and consequently developed bullimia. Strangely enough, for some of the men, the urges to binge didnt occur until the refeeding phase. In other words they were able to avoid eating until they were given persmission but when they were, all hell broke lose. All sorts of psychological responses were observed in the men, impaired judgement, memory loss, concentration went out the window, sex drive was dead in the water and they became apathetic to most things they had previously enjoyed. A few of the men became suicidal, one guy chopped off his fingers in response to the stress and another developed compulsive disorders that included rooting through carbage cans for food. All of the men underwent rigorous testing before the study and were found to be very healthy individuals, but after.......a lot of them regained more weight after refeeding, as in, they became heavier than they were before the study, such was the intensity of the starvation that had been induced in them.
Dieting, using exercise to control weight, counting calories.......its destructive and actually will succeed in doing one thing in the long run: Making you obsessed with food and result in you gaining more weight. The only thing you can do is to let go and not battle your body. Eat. Eat whatever you need every day and exercise for the joy of it, not to purge or to work calories off. A culture has developed in society where people will starve themselves, go to the gym, take pictures of themselves and post on instagram in order to gain praise and approval. Its toxic and nihilstic and its no way to live. If you feed your body and look after it I promise it'll look after you. You wont get fat, you'll actually lose weight and your body will reset to its natural and healthy weight. Guaranteed this is what happens. Trouble only starts when you hate your body and declare a war against it. Its a war you wont win in the long run. Op please eat. Get up, have a big solid breakfast, then lunch, dinner, and whatever else you need. Let go of restricting or cutting back, give your body noursishment and see what happens.

Niaveee

Starving yourself isn't going to work. You need self control and dedication. You need to pull the finger out and put your mind to it. If you really want to lose weight you have to put in the hard work.
Join a slimming group, go to your go. Get some support behind you. Dedicate yourself and stick to it