Depressed mother

LegacyUser

Discussion of mental health issues in my family is a big no-no. It's simply not done.

I've discovered from various sources / snippets of information from far flung relatives / family friends, that my mother spent time in a psychiatric facility (against her will), both a few years before my birth and after I was born.

She has vowed to never return to a medical facility for mental health issues. She has an extremely negative opinion of those who have mental health issues.

The problem now is that she is very clearly depressed. However she is impossible to approach to discuss her getting help. I can't recall a day in the past few months that there hasn't been tears, shouting, anger, rage. She has other symptoms too.

It's hard to see her like this. She's clearly desperately unhappy.

And selfishly, it's hard to take from my point of view. Constantly walking on egg shells to not set her off on one. It's hard to see someone you love, suffer.

Yet I'm not strong enough to talk to her and suggest getting help. I'm struggling with my own issues right now. Aside from dealing with my mother, I've my own mental health challenges. All of which I keep to myself. I see a therapist but I've had to reduce the amount of times I see them because I lost my job and can't afford to go frequently. I've tried free services but the waiting lists are miles long and it's hard going over the same things again with a new person. I'm on the waiting list for therapy with my psychiatrists team but how long is a piece of string? Been waiting 6 months for even an assessment!

I've been doing well recently. I'm off all of the psych medication I had been taking (due to the progress I had been making in therapy). But since therapy decreased, and the situation with my mother has deteriorated, I feel myself slipping back into old habits and old ways. I've had an anxiety attack every night for the past two weeks, and I've lost motivation to get out of bed. What's the point in getting up when you just spend the day on tenterhooks waiting for the next emotional outburst.

I was at my GP the week before last as I needed an antibiotic. I had only had maybe 2 nights of anxiety so I didn't say anything to her about my mental state. I'm conscious that I've a medical card so I don't want to be seen as taking the pee by going back after such a short space of time.

Rubberchikken

where mental health issues are concerned, i'd say make a nuisance of yourself at the gp's if needed. it's vital to get service and help in these situations and that's what the gp is there for. to provide service and help.

have you talked to the gp about your mother? she may have had an extremely bad experience of mental health institutions in this country years ago and so couldn't be blamed for not wanting to talk about them or be in their as a patient.
but in some cases, times have changed and the help and support nowadays has improved.

do you feel able to discuss your issues with her. explaining how you have had therapy/medsand how helpful you may have found them?

it's awful to be 'walking on eggshells', and it's equally awful for her to be angry, crying etc due to mental health issues that could be eased with the proper support.
i hope you get the help you need to deal with this. best of luck

LegacyUser

My mother has been in psychiatric care in recent years, I how the feeling of having to walk on eggshells. Your mother's experiences earlier in life have clearly made her very hostile to psychiatric care, completely understandably, but there is support there with GP's, etc, my mother is a lot better since she got the right mix of medication, and hasn't been in care for three years now. I'm not sure how successfully you can help her unless she's willing to go through those processes herself, though, doing something without her consent would probably only alienate her. Don't feel guilty about prioritising your own mental state either.