How to stop father from seeing child or taking me to court?

lids13

I'm 8 months pregnant with my first baby and i want to know how can i stop the father from gaining access to see my unborn son. We weren't in a relationship when the child was conceived and he went to prison when i was 4 months pregnant and has only after getting out and before that he did not provide anything for the baby's arrival . He has many prior convictions and doesn't have a job and has two other children by two other girls. Is there any way i can stop him from gaining access to see my unborn baby and i do not wish to seek maintenance from him, Help? Ireland

Stheno

He has a right to apply for guardianship/visitation via the courts.

You can't prevent him applying for that and going through the court process.
The court will decide what is appropriate if he does apply

Kauto0709

lids13 wrote: »

I'm 8 months pregnant with my first baby and i want to know how can i stop the father from gaining access to see my unborn son. We weren't in a relationship when the child was conceived and he went to prison when i was 4 months pregnant and has only after getting out and before that he did not provide anything for the baby's arrival . He has many prior convictions and doesn't have a job and has two other children by two other girls. Is there any way i can stop him from gaining access to see my unborn baby and i do not wish to seek maintenance from him, Help? Ireland

I recommend contacting Treoir for information, they are very helpful. Best of luck.

mordeith

All I can say is well done for removing yourself and your child from this guy. Sounds like a very wise decision.

Lisha

Dont name him on the birth certificate .

lazygal

Lisha wrote: »

Dont name him on the birth certificate .

That's not fair on the child. Every child deserves to know at the very least the name of their parents. You can't deprive them of this whatever the parents have done.

ainy

Lisha wrote:

Dont name him on the birth certificate .

when your not married in order to put the fathers name on birth cert both need to attend in order to register the birth so its highly likely OP won't be able to put his name on cert anyway unless their in agreement and arrange to go to the registry office together.

whupdedo

He was plenty good the night you shagged him , I'm sure you probably knew of his convictions before that night as well , we're you looking to get pregnant or did you think having unprotected sex with someone was safe (or were you on antibiotics and they caused you pill to stop working , the usual excuse made by women )

You are as responsible as well as he is , who are you to say a father hasn't a right to see his child , maybe plan your contraception a bit better next time and you won't find your self in a similar situation

mordeith

whupdedo wrote: »

He was plenty good the night you shagged him , I'm sure you probably knew of his convictions before that night as well , we're you looking to get pregnant or did you think having unprotected sex with someone was safe (or were you on antibiotics and they caused you pill to stop working , the usual excuse made by women )

You are as responsible as well as he is , who are you to say a father hasn't a right to see his child , maybe plan your contraception a bit better next time and you won't find your self in a similar situation

Is that you Jesus?

manonboard

whupdedo wrote: »

He was plenty good the night you shagged him , I'm sure you probably knew of his convictions before that night as well , we're you looking to get pregnant or did you think having unprotected sex with someone was safe (or were you on antibiotics and they caused you pill to stop working , the usual excuse made by women )

You are as responsible as well as he is , who are you to say a father hasn't a right to see his child , maybe plan your contraception a bit better next time and you won't find your self in a similar situation

Whilst you are not wrong in anything you say here (other than the convictions remark), sometimes people realise they made a bad choice after the moment, and then try to make the best decisions to manage it.

exaisle

In actively preventing him from seeing his child, I think you're mistaken, whatever his previous history. You made a mistake in having a child with this man....however, that's not your child's fault and trying to prevent access seems punitive for something that you both are equally responsible for.

I think you should give him the opportunity of being a responsible parent to his child. If he spurns that, that's another issue entirely.

bajer101

I am interested in the answer to this too. I am the father of a yet unborn child and I would like to know how I can prevent the child's mother from ever seeing the child again. We weren't in a relationship when the child was conceived, but I just think that I have the right to deny the child access to one of its parents.

Jesus wept.

cbyrd

Just be aware that if he knows you ate pregnant he can seek paternity through the courts. It's not your right to deprive your child of half his/her family, it's you're right to manage access be it supervised or minimal.

Orion

whupdedo wrote: »

He was plenty good the night you shagged him , I'm sure you probably knew of his convictions before that night as well , we're you looking to get pregnant or did you think having unprotected sex with someone was safe (or were you on antibiotics and they caused you pill to stop working , the usual excuse made by women )

You are as responsible as well as he is , who are you to say a father hasn't a right to see his child , maybe plan your contraception a bit better next time and you won't find your self in a similar situation

Remarks like this are completely unacceptable on this forum and any other one I'm aware of. Take a day out to read the charter. Next post like this will lead to access being permanently removed.

Orion

ainy wrote: »

when your not married in order to put the fathers name on birth cert both need to attend in order to register the birth so its highly likely OP won't be able to put his name on cert anyway unless their in agreement and arrange to go to the registry office together.

He can also apply to the court to have his name added even after the cert has been issued.

OP: you can't prevent anyone taking you to court. If he goes down that route the court will make a decision based on the best interests of the child. Your feelings won't really come into it - child first is the policy.

lollsangel

Irregardless of what he has done. The amount of other kids he has, once he is not a threat to your child, he has every right to know and support the child.

You can have supervised visits if that is a concern but every child deserves to know their family.
A child is not a possession. You can't stop him from seeking assess, in fact I'd think more of a man that did rather than just letting the child grow up without him.

And you know op I've known of men that they finally see the light and get themselves sorted when they have a child.

Good luck and I hope that you will have a good solution x

Neyite

Orion wrote: »

the court will make a decision based on the best interests of the child. Your feelings won't really come into it - child first is the policy.

This is the pertinent point I think.

It's all very well moralising that someone has a right to see their child, but really, the courts decide it from the point of view of the child. Parental rights get put aside to ensure the well-being and safety of a child all the time, and rightly so. Children come first.

OP, like they have said, you may not be able to stop him from putting his name on the birth cert, or taking you to court, but if you have valid reasons as to why you feel his presence would be damaging to your child then it's worth talking to Treior to see if there is anything that they can advise. But you cant stop someone from seeing their child just because you no longer get on with them for example.

How he parents his other two children will be a big indicator of what kind of dad he will be to your baby. If he is not bothered with them, then he will hardly bother with your baby?

Orion

On the birth cert - having his name on it gives no rights whatsoever. Guardianship, access, maintenance etc are all completely separate. Naming him on the birth cert simply means that your son can see who his biological father is which could be crucial in later years if there are any inherited illnesses such as heart disease - it always helps to have a medical history.

Regarding maintenance - you may not have any say in that either. The DSP actively seeking maintenance to reduce the amount paid out in single parent allowances. They will most likely insist on him being named to them so they can chase him for financial support.

Milly33

Sorry but that is a horrible question to ask of you and have to say it you should be ashamed of yourself for asking it.. I am not going to say you should have known better but he is the babies farther, whether you like it or not. He has rights and so does his child to know who their farther is....

ainy

Orion wrote:

He can also apply to the court to have his name added even after the cert has been issued.

Orion wrote:

On the birth cert - having his name on it gives no rights whatsoever. Guardianship, access, maintenance etc are all completely separate. Naming him on the birth cert simply means that your son can see who his biological father is which could be crucial in later years if there are any inherited illnesses such as heart disease - it always helps to have a medical history.

oh I know the father can get name added if not at the initial registration. I was just pointing out to previous poster that the father needs to be present at first registration if the name is going to be added from start and if the parents are not on good terms that may not happen.

of course the father should always be on the birthcert for the best interests of the child for years to come but it would have to be initiated by the father in order to have it there. OP can't put his name there without him attending otherwise a mother could name any randomer as father on the cert.

OP I think you need to think of your child here and not your feelings towards this man. They have a right to know their father. He may have convictions and have other children etc but he could be a good dad if given the chance.

Its never good to judge a man just because he has children with different women. A good friend of mine who has 2 children with 2 different women and who to look at, you would think is a bit of a loser and wouldn't be great to have around children is one of the best dads I know. He loves his children and does everything he can for them. he's like a different person when hes with his children and I love to see it and it's all because he was given the chance from the start.

stephenl15

Orion wrote: »

Remarks like this are completely unacceptable on this forum and any other one I'm aware of. Take a day out to read the charter. Next post like this will lead to access being permanently removed.

But... They have a very good point

Orion

stephenl15 wrote: »

But... They have a very good point

No they don't. Warning given for arguing against mod instruction. Read the charter before posting in Parenting again.

stephenl15

Orion wrote: »

No they don't. Warning given for arguing against mod instruction. Read the charter before posting in Parenting again.

That's your opinion. Like we have our opinions.

pajero12

Orion wrote: »

No they don't. Warning given for arguing against mod instruction. Read the charter before posting in Parenting again.

Ah hold on here now, Who are you to write off someones opinion based on your own?
Crazy Stuff.

miece16

Exactly. This is why I hate boards.
We can't have an opinion that the dictator mods don't like.

January

Take it to feedback if you have an issue with the
way boards is moderated. IF you had read the charter you would know that arguing with a moderators instructions on thread is against the rules so either follow them or you'll be banned from the forum

Milly33

Well said sorry but fine it could have been worded better eg slept with rather than shagging but it was a true point.

You can got to court OP and request but don't please do anything like not putting his name on the birthcert etc...

Call into your local community help place I am sure they will offer some guidance

Lux23

OP, I feel bad for all the silly, judgemental arguments being made against you.

Personally, I think you should stop worrying about what this man may do through the courts and focus on looking after yourself and preparing for the arrival of your child. If he decides to seek access through the courts, then let the courts decide what is best for your child. None of us reading your post can really tell what kind of father this man will make. You obviously don't want him in your life, but the decision shouldn't be based purely on your feelings.

So take a few steps back, breathe deeply and look forward to your the birth of your baby. That's all you should be thinking about right now.

Moonbeam

miece16 wrote: »

Exactly. This is why I hate boards.
We can't have an opinion that the dictator mods don't like.

No body is making you post here,you have the choice not to.

Moonbeam

Thread closed