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Young adult personality change?

  • 18-07-2015 9:41pm
    #1
    dara_con
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33 ✭


    Hi All,

    I'm going to do my best to sum this up. I'm 20 years old, never had a girlfriend but have had one or two experiences. To put things in perspective I'm the type of guy that would rather have one important woman to me than go out sleeping with a different girl every week. I have been described as a good looking guy. Lately I've been thinking do I need to change my personality a bit. Everyone around me seems to be with someone. I do lack confidence and would spend a large amount of time with my family. I'm not the type of person that likes to go out clubbing (which is what my college friends do most of the time) regularly, I don't drink that often and I do focus on performing well in work and college. At the moment I'm on an internship at a very successful company so that has been my focus for the last few months. Frequently people are telling me that I am performing excellently whether it be work or college or grades etc. I feel like its a trade in someways - Success vs the potential to meet someone/have fun with my friends. I do suffer from social anxiety. I'm beginning to think I need to spend more time with friends and less time with family and ease up a bit when it comes to work/college along with changing my personality.

    I feel like a change in myself is needed, but with that said, if I do, and I do meet someone, they won't like me, they'll like this person I FORCED myself to turn into.

    I'm quite confused at the moment and I feel like I am missing out on what a relationship offers in the teenage years.

    Aplogies if I went into too much detail, I would appreciate the help.
    Tagged:


Comments

  • #2
    OneOfThem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 667 ✭✭✭OneOfThem


    I reckon give the going out clubbing and being with a different girl every week thing a try. You say it's not for you. But you haven't tried it. Give it a bash. You may surprise yourself.


  • #3
    zoobizoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭zoobizoo


    I think that it's not the that you need to change your personality but that you need to meet someone like minded like you.

    You won't find someone like that in a night club. If you don't like clubbing then don't go.

    What interests do you have? Following your passion is a great way to meet people with common ground.

    I don't think that it's a trade of "Success vs the potential to meet someone/have fun with my friends." because believe me, successful people often have a lot of fun and make friends ... your success is an attractive quality as is having your own mind to be focused enough.

    In terms of social anxiety and confidence - this is in my opinion what is holding you back. Would you go talk to someone about it?

    LAstly, I would suggest to stop focusing on finding a partner (as you are still young) and just trying to broaden your friend base.... challenge yourself to do different sports / activities each week.


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