Work

LegacyUser

Hi,

Going anon for this. Having a problem in my office. It is an open plan office where people can come and go as they please in a postgrad academic setting. I am a 29 year old guy having a major problem with one of my female colleagues from another dept. She is in her mid-30s.

Basically she is constantly playing the victim and needing help. Initially I helped her with small problems like finding somewhere to live, moving some boxes etc. Last week she messaged a group facebook message saying she thought all men were disgusting pigs because her ex was not nice-not abusive, just not nice. I took issue with this and said it was unfair that she was calling us disgusting pigs. Later in the message the BBC documentary about slavery came up and she looked up my surname. It is a common surname and she announced to everyone that my family were slave owners in the UK. I am Irish and have no UK family.

A few days ago I sent her a private facebook message and asked if she was coming in as the door to her area was shut and I could not see. I received a litany of abuse and was asked never to speak to her again. I agreed as I was not there to take abuse. She has now sent a series of messages accusing me of passive aggressive behaviour and recommending counselling. I have not replied to a single message. It went on and on and on until finally today I actually had to leave the office.

I am afraid to be in the office with her because she has said she is going to create a scene. She is also one of those people who is very good at being the victim of a situation. We have a mutual friend abroad who I should the messages to and she is also shocked by all of this.

Has anyone any advice on what to do in this situation as I am currently very stressed about this. It seems no matter which way I go on this she is going to be the victim and I am going to be the villain. At times I can be left in the office with only her in the room beside me.

Thanks,
Anon29

MouseTail

Unfriend her on Facebook. Keep all communication and interaction professional and work related.

LegacyUser

MouseTail wrote: »

Unfriend her on Facebook. Keep all communication and interaction professional and work related.

Thanks for the reply. I did this yesterday. Since 1pm today I have received 130 lines of messages detailing from various sources how I am an abuser because I refuse to engage in discussion with her.

Mrs OBumble

Report this to your manager.

And learn the lesson - LinkedIn is for work, Facebook is for private. Don't mix the two.

Irish_Elect_Eng

+1 Report this to HR / Management Immediately.

I cannot stress the importance of being the person that raises this issue first. Get your information straight and present it to the relevant manager, facts only, focus on how this impacts your working environment, outline your concerns. Make sure that you clearly communicate your concerns about working unaccompanied in her presence, this is an issue that needs to be considered/addressed by the company. (At least temporarily) At your meeting, ask for a schedule for this to be addressed, or at least when they will be back to you with an update.

This is a problem for management to sort out. NOT YOU. Almost everything that you could do to sort this out personally 1:1 could be twisted by this person to reflect badly on you.

Hand the problem over to management and get back to doing your job.

L.Jenkins

Point to note: Document everything, time and dates!