Did the doctor accidentally reveal gender

LegacyUser

Yesterday I had an appointment with my consultant however my normal consultant was out and I had a stand in - as it was a regular check up appointment I didn't object. Before starting the scan she asked me did I want to know the sex, I said no as we are keeping it a surprise.

However towards the end of the scan she said 'he is in a great position' there was a bit of a silence and then she said 'she' and she got a bit flustered and added or it as we don't know the gender. The doctor continued to act flustered and a bit panicky and started to try and gloss over it. To be honest I was on my own without my partner and now I can't help but think it is a boy based on her reaction and I am gutted she would have let it slip so close to the end of my pregnancy.

In any other scan no tech or doctor has ever said anything specific but rather said 'baby'. Is the general consensus that they always use the term 'baby' rather than anything gender specific or am I being a bit too sensitive about it all?

Neyite

They would generally use a non-gendered term, but also 'he' is generally the default pronoun most commonly used in pregnancy, admittedly less so among ante-natal staff.

So it could just be that the doctor used the default pronoun without thinking, then freaked because the default pronoun was male, so she worried that maybe you might think she was disclosing gender, then tried unsuccessfully to correct her mistake by saying 'she' then 'it'

oakshade

We found out the gender of our first accidentally. My OH had a very complex pregnancy resulting in an amniocentesis and genetic testing. We were fairly bored sitting in the waiting room for a scan one day and started reading her rather large hospital file - the gender was written on the genetics report. D'oh. We were upset at first (completely our own fault) but given the level of complications we just wanted a happy outcome. I know its on your mind, it's not the worst thing that could happen. Enjoy and congrats

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. I guess I am just disappointed if I know now. Debating whether or not to mention it to my partner, we were both adamant we would want to surprise. Obviously the most important thing is that the baby is healthy and happy and I am sure when they arrive I will forget all about it. But now I can't help but wonder if I know. It was the reaction of the doctor that I noticed even more than the initial slip of the 'he'.

I am also wondering would the doctor have even been able to see anything? It was only on the scanner than the consultant uses - nothing like the scans in the main ultrasound department.

cruais

The exact thing happened to us.

I wasn't well and went for check up in a&e of holles st.

The dr asked us if we knew the sex of the baby before she started the scan and we told her no.

During the scan she said 'he is doing great' and I picked up on it straight away. She got a bit panicky and then said 'she looks comfortable '.

I always had the feeling it was a boy but still want the suprise so am telling myself that she could hardly call the baby 'it '

Ms Tootsie

Maybe the doctor just wasnt comfortable calling a baby 'it'. In any scans we have had the term baby has always been used but tbf I am on the combined care scheme so our scans were mainly in the ultrasound department whose job is all about scanning so I am not too sure about consultants but it could just be that doctors like to switch between the genders.

We are not finding out either and with six weeks to go if someone let it slip now I would be annoyed after going to the effort of not finding out so I understand why you are a bit bothered.

Del2005

guest345 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. I guess I am just disappointed if I know now. Debating whether or not to mention it to my partner, we were both adamant we would want to surprise. Obviously the most important thing is that the baby is healthy and happy and I am sure when they arrive I will forget all about it. But now I can't help but wonder if I know. It was the reaction of the doctor that I noticed even more than the initial slip of the 'he'.

I am also wondering would the doctor have even been able to see anything? It was only on the scanner than the consultant uses - nothing like the scans in the main ultrasound department.

You're annoyed that the doctor may have ruined your surprise and are now thinking of ruining your partners surprise, would it not be better for one of you to still not know?

amor3

This happened me a week before i was due. My regular consultant was away so i had a different one. During the scan she said "HE " i didn't say anything but i picked up on it straight away. I felt so disappointed making it that far not knowing but 2 days later i gave birth to a girl! So maybe, as others have said, it's just a default instead of saying it.

Best wishes and good luck..

Ms Tootsie

I should add I wouldnt tell your partner. If he/she wasnt there when it was said why ruin their surprise? And you don't even know for sure.

km991148

You are worried that the surprise may have been ruined.. you dont know for sure - so it is still a surprise!

Dont over think it and stop playing it over in your head.. it is one of the following scenarios:

- Either the doc said 'he' knowing baby is a 'she' and then got worried that you now think its a 'he'

Or

- Either the doc said 'he' knowing baby is a 'he' and then got worried that you now think its a 'he'

You do not know which of those statements is true - so it is still a surprise!

nikkibikki

I saw "male parts" on one of my twins during a scan so I knew I was having at least one boy. Consultant didn't say anything and neither did I and I didn't tell my husband that I saw anything. Had 2boys. One sitting on each knee as I type! I was a little disappointed for minute to know but they were both healthy so it's no biggie to me really.