Overeating myself into bigger problems

LegacyUser

I've now gone to several counsellors and they've been of no assistance in my messed-up relationship with food. The last counsellor actually said, dismissively with a laugh, "Well, all it takes to solve that is eat less and exercise more". I smiled, but that was it with that person.

I'm realising more and more that eating too much bad food is my retreat from the world but I'm also now aware that my food binges are directly related to my productivity - when I'm on a diet I'm in control, I get things done and I've more energy. It is, I'm now aware, a control thing, but I can never keep totally in control so I fall off the rails each time. It's as if I have to be ultra disciplined and in control of every aspect of my life or life will go off the rails on that point - I've an "all or nothing" mentality towards everything and I've never learnt at any meaningful level how to do things in moderation. Mentally, I need help with breaking that obtuse, utterly counter-productive thinking.

I'm also conscious that my relationship with food can be traced to a very tough childhood and even though the challenges of that time are gone, my way of dealing with challenges today remains that of the child. In short, I've reflected enough to be conscious of the general reasons for why I do what I do but there remains some self-destructive urge within me which I do not understand, and that self-destruction comes out in my extreme attitude to food (it could just as easily be alcohol, which is why I gave it up years ago). I know the problem is in my head, but I need to find somebody who can give me a lot of insight into what's going on and how to beat my demons. At the moment (going largely on Peter Michaelson's Why We Suffer blog) I seem to be retreating into what psychologists term "inner passivity" but I really do need some reliable expert who can work through this with me, somebody who knows this area and can help me change my lifelong habits so I can get on with living a full, active life.

Would anybody know anybody who could help me in this specific area, or indeed have any recommendations for reading so I can come to a deeper self-awareness and learn tools to change my thinking? Thanks.

lyinghere

What would you typically eat when you are not on a diet. Keep a food diary this week and then post it up here and in sure people will suggest improvements to that rather than a full scale diet.

What's your typical week like exercise wise ?

You already know it but i think you need to focus on making small improvements over time rather than the radical changes .

LegacyUser

Op you might be better asking about this in the nutrition / diet and fitness forum.
There was an excellent thread there back in February which was raising awareness about eating disorders.

I'm not saying you have an eating disorder but from what you describe you seem to be in this circle of going from binge eating to eating healthily and using food as crutch. I suppose for your own physical and mental health you need to break this cycle.

This was the thread, there should be a few posters there who could point you in the right direction
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=94405881 to raise awareness of eating disorders.

Magicmatilda

I would recommend you try overeaters anonymous. I know there are meetings in Dublin. You could meet people in the same boat who will provide support and guidance.

www.overeatersanonymous.ie

Very disappointing that your counsellors have not taken it seriously.

Dolbert

People recommending diets to you are missing the point. Are you familiar with the Marino centre in Dublin? They do excellent work with sufferers of eating distress.

HelgaWard

Hi, don't really have any advice, but just wanted to let you know there are other people who are the same as you. Me being one of them. This week I'm totally in the zone, on the healthy diet 100%, don't find it hard when I'm in the zone, weight falls off me, 3/4 weeks later I'll be about 10 lbs down, exactly where I want to be weight wise and delighted with myself. Also agree with you that I am generally more productive all round when 'in the zone'!! Then for some reason, it may be a night out, or a bad day at work, or even just a day where I am out of the office and my routine is unsettled and then bam I'm getting bars from a vending machine in the canteen at 8:30am for breakfast, having crisps and sandwiches for lunch, constantly thinking where my next treat is going to come from. Taking a different route to collect the kids so I can stop at the shop to buy crap. Eating take aways, just doing everything wrong.

I don't really know how to stop this cycle of being really good, being really bad and how to live consistently healthy. I'm hoping one of these days I'll figure it out! I think really I have to decide to control myself fully, I'm the one that lets myself, fully consciously decide to fall off the wagon, so I'm the only one who can fix it really.

Just one other thing is I know you are wondering if this is down to your difficult childhood. I am very lucky that I had a great childhood, no really traumatic live experiences to date and I'm still like this.

Best of luck.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

gline

Not an expert at all, but I'd say dont diet at all. Get a decent routine going of eating a relatively set healthy menu of food each week, making small meal changes to vary it, but stick to the normal 3 meals and nothing inbetween. No need to diet if your eating healthy.
If its just willpower thats the issue, then a professional should be able to help you strengthen your will power.

LegacyUser

Have you ever tried going to a nutritionist, or weightwatchers / slimming world etc? If not it could be worth a try. WW and SW and those groups have all introduced plans with less point counting than they once had so they are a bit easier to manage, and their meetings are a private weigh in (so no one else knows in case that is a worry), and the rest of the meeting is a bunch of people of all shapes and sizes having a good old chat about food and giving each other tips and hints about what they do for snacks or easy recipes or how they handle eating when busy / stressed etc. A nutritionist is also highly likely to have met people in similar situations to you so they should be able to help.

I know it's very easy for some people to say just eat proper food and exercise, and that is great in theory, but it is hard to do when you don't really understand what good food is and how to cook it so any of the groups/nutritionist can help with that and give you a bit of a framework to work with. None of them completely remove all treats and they focus on learning how to eat real foods so it's not an all or nothing plan and therefore easier to sustain than a lot of quick fix diets. I don't work for any of these but just joined relatively recently and found that they gave me a good structure to follow with my food habits and it's been relatively easy to continue with it since I'm not cutting anything out so I don't feel like I'm missing out. If anything I'm eating more than I used to, feeling fuller but because I'm eating better foods, and also learning how to cook more tasty food I am also losing weight in the healthy range of 1-2lb per week. That's without any change to exercise, but mostly I like exercise for how it makes me feel rather than as a weight loss tool and in reality weight loss is 80% what you eat, 20% exercise... Anyhow hope you find something that works for you.