Seating plan

harr

Hi
I have a mate getting married in a couple of months and I will be grooms man so helping out a bit...one thing he has spoken about is not have a table plan or a seating ,even with the venue subtly suggesting he should have one.
It not like he has never being to a wedding before most of our circle of friends are married.
I have only been to one wedding before with no table plan and it was a nightmare with some tables have 14 people at a table and some tables only 4.
It is a large wedding at 260 guests so I can't see how it would work out good.
So has anyone been to a large wedding with no table plan and how do I go about trying trying to tell him without it looking like I am sticking my nose in there plans.

Milly33

Maybe you should get his lady to be into watching some 4 weddings programmes or something... Or maybe mention a few things to her like have you thought who will sit here.. I am not sure is it butting in too much or not.. You could say look man I think you are asking for trouble just say it as it is, he will either take your advice or not take it...

I have to say I agree with having a seating plan..

Been to a few weddings now and anytime where there is a free for all seating plan it always ends up the same. Groups of friends end up sticking together and it gets very clicky...

If there is someone there then who doesn't know a lot of people it can be very intimidating, wondering where to sit or do they want you to sit there.. Not a nice way to feel at a wedding you want to feel comfortable..

And as you say some tables then get jam packed and others are empty...

Half thought about it for our own but only knowing that we would be breaking any party up really as we will be moving from the dinner area to someplace else and that the two families would talk to everyone. But said most defo we will go with the seating plan so people can get to know eachother..

Also bar in mind if there are older people going make sure that they have decent seats with family

An Bhanríon

Your post caught my eye! The dreaded seating plan!

There's really not a lot you can do but relay your experience to your friend about the wedding you were at with no seating plan. If he listens to you, fine. If he doesn't there's not a lot you can do. Suggest nicely, and he might listen...

We had a table plan at our wedding but people could sit where they liked at the table. They weren't asigned seats. I would highly recommend having at least this. Deciding exactly where people sit would not be my thing.

The advantages I saw of having a table plan (if you need ideas - although I think you have it sussed out and Milly33 had mentioned most of it):
For those who don't know anyone, they don't end up at the 'rejects table' of 4 people.
For those who don't know anyone, you can have a think about who they would get on with and put them at a table with them. Especially with people who are quiet and not great at starting up conversations, this can make a big difference to how much they enjoy the dinner.
For ex-couples, this will avoid them ending up at the same table.
For big groups, you can split them in two to avoid 12 of them being together at one table and 2 being left to find another table and feeling left out.

It does take a bit of work to put a table plan together and a bit of thinking about your guests. It can be a right headache at times! But we found it well worth it. We actually got quite a bit of feedback after from people who got on well with those they didn't know at their table.

Best of luck with convincing the groom! Just remember he is probably under pressure with the whole wedding thing, though, so tread softly.

Milly33

a new idea An Bhanríon with the table plan as such but not there seating one. Have to say it had not come into my head yet...

pooch90

Really? We have been to maybe one wedding out of close to 20 at this stage that had the exact seat assigned. People will just swap to suit themselves anyway so all that extra time placing them around the table will be wasted.

I have been to one wedding with no seating plan and the only reason they got away with it is because they were having a marquee, buffet with long rectangular tables.

Having no seat plan for 260 people will be chaos. As said above, you really want to take care of the older guests, god forbid 90 year old nan ends up with the lads doing Jaegar Bombs! Or the neighbour from up the road is at the table with the lads from college talking about all the crap you did in college!

Faith

He definitely needs a table plan! Assigned seating is unnecessary though.

Could you offer to help? Don't push it, but say something like "I can help you out with the table plan if you need, man". If he says they're not having on, then you can explain that it'll be chaos without one.

Senna

Give your advice but at the end of the day it's their wedding and they can do whatever they like, might not be to everyone's tastes, but its not your wedding.

harr

Thanks for your replies ,I meant a table or seating plan which ever one is easiest for him and yes a table plan would be best a lot of work with a seating plan...
As I said it's a large wedding with two groups of people coming from different parts of the country and a lot of people going would not know anyone else at the wedding so ....we have a few bits to organise this week and I will suggest that maybe I could give him a helping hand with the seating if he wants.
I don't think they have anything in particular against a table plan but they don't think it's necessary .
At the end of the day it's there day and I can only offer my advice ...I don't want to be seen as interfering ....the hotel was spoken to him about it so hopefull they might take there advice....

harr

pooch90 wrote: »

Really? We have been to maybe one wedding out of close to 20 at this stage that had the exact seat assigned. People will just swap to suit themselves anyway so all that extra time placing them around the table will be wasted.

I have been to one wedding with no seating plan and the only reason they got away with it is because they were having a marquee, buffet with long rectangular tables.

Having no seat plan for 260 people will be chaos. As said above, you really want to take care of the older guests, god forbid 90 year old nan ends up with the lads doing Jaegar Bombs! Or the neighbour from up the road is at the table with the lads from college talking about all the crap you did in college!

Yes this what I worried about ,wrong mix of people at the same table

chickenlicken2

I went to one wedding that had no seating nor table plan. There was maybe 180 people at it.

It was quite chaotic. Probably a quarter of the guests knew there was no table plan and there was a school like dash the minute the doors opened.

Then the confusion when everybody started filtering in of people trying to find tables or people they knew to sit with. Took quite a bit of time and probably delayed the process a bit too.

Now at out table it worked really well, we had 6 in our group and we got on great with the two others that joined the table. However they were quite embarrassed/ self concious asking to join the table. Again quite school like asking to join a table.

Then there were other tables where elderly aunts were sitting with the lads out for a session.
If people don't have a plus one you can have uneven numbers at tables which then means you have the chance of individuals sitting at a table where they know nobody. Great if you are chatty and the table are friendly but for a shy individual it's quite awkward.


Personally I prefer just a seating plan rather than a full on table plan.

padd b1975

The last wedding I was at had a classmates table, I can honestly say I never laughed as much through a meal as I did that day.

PhoenixParker

I'd heavily recommend a table plan but if he can't be persuaded some tips I've read for open seating:

1) have more seats then guests - means people don't have to arrange themselves perfectly. Even 10 extra seats will offer flexibility.

2) have a variety of table sizes. Let's big and small groups choose appropriately

3) have someone in the bridal party identified who can keep an eye out for guests who know no one.

But seriously just do a table plan.