Some guys just have it all...

H3llR4iser

Just for a bit of mildly sweet-and-sour fun.

If you are an average, go to work every morning, have to budget to pay the bills, sweat blood in the gym for abysmal results...you know, like most of us really.

One day you are minding your business. You find a mobile phone. Pick it up, there is no lock, go through the contacts and locate one called "home". The voice answering the call will most likely be a guy's, possibly a 6'8" tall member of a bikers gang. Occasionally, it might be an old lady. You tell them you found their phone, call up to them, give it back, "thanks" and maybe a cup of coffee and you're back on your way (most of the times with both your kidneys still in their place).

But if you are Cristiano Ronaldo, things don't work that way. Oh no.
You are minding your business, find a mobile phone. Call a number from its phonebook, the voice answering sounds like a young woman. "Hello, I have your phone - I'm CR7, meet me for dinner and I'll give it back". Of course, she accepts. Of course, she is hot. Of course, she brings three friends which, of course, are all at least as hot she is.

http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2015/7/7/8909115/if-you-lose-your-phone-in-vegas-cristiano-ronaldo-might-find-it-and

Obviously, any man will know CR checked the "Gallery" app on the phone before deciding if to make the call himself or hand the device to some assistant.

Anyway gentlemen, if these are the odds, what kind of hope do we have in this world? Cristiano, leave some for the others dammit!

jimgoose

Gobbewiddedays when we all spent sixteen hours a day covered in filth and lice and walloping the stony ground with a stick. We had proper role models then, such as his Lordship passing in his Wolseley, kindly taking the time to shout abuse at us peasants. If we were really lucky he might throw something sharp out the window at us, such as a rusty old battle-axe.

anto9

All look like pasty faced high maintaince bitches .I prefer Asian myself ;-)

strelok

da fuk

Dave0301

anto9 wrote: »

All look like pasty faced high maintaince bitches .I prefer Asian myself ;-)

I bet you are a r eal hit with the ladies!

Chemical Byrne

Tbh, I'd say he would be closer to the mark. They all look like typical party girls - big in tit 'n' lip, small in character.

Wibbs

anto9 no more posts along those lines and that goes for others going for the lowest common denominator

jimgoose

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

Tbh, I'd say he would be closer to the mark. They all look like typical party girls - big in tit 'n' lip, small in character.

They look like perfectly nice young ladies to me. I should woo them by first explaining how to calculate the correct offset for a torque-wrench adapter, followed by retiring to my Gentleman's Area for Cognac and a lecture on the differences between Imperial the old British Apothecarie's Measurements.

DoYouEvenLift

Yeah, but did he smash?...It's probably dodgey enough being a celebrity and getting involved with randoms

H3llR4iser wrote: »

Just for a bit of mildly sweet-and-sour fun.

If you are an average, go to work every morning, have to budget to pay the bills, sweat blood in the gym for abysmal results...you know, like most of us really.

You're eating/lifting wrong

H3llR4iser

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

Tbh, I'd say he would be closer to the mark. They all look like typical party girls - big in tit 'n' lip, small in character.

Not like he was going to pledge his undying, eternal exclusive commitment to them.

And besides, they look absolutely fine - four good looking young women on a night out, nice dresses, shoes et all. Can't even see any random leg/ankle tattoo with dubious oriental characters on any of them. Frankly, a Saturday night around Cork will provide you with plenty of worse examples.

And I couldn't fault any woman for "pimping herself up" to the best of her abilities if she's gonna meet Cristiano Ronaldo...if you were to go to dinner with Candice Swanepoel, you wouldn't go wearing a tracksuit :D:D

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yeah, but did he smash?...It's probably dodgey enough being a celebrity and getting involved with randoms

Most likely. They went to his suite... check the "selfie" in this article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/babb/11723186/Cristiano-Ronaldo-finds-attractive-girls-phone-goes-on-date-with-her-and-her-friends.html

catallus

I'm not gonna lie, I'm bitter!

I'd have to work about 25 years full time with no breaks to earn what that guy gets in a bloody week! €1.46M per week.

http://www.paywizard.org/main/salary/vip-check/soccer-players

He snaps his fingers and gets the most beautiful women in the world bowing at his feet!

And this morning I wake up with a bloody pimple on my face!

I don't even play football and still have pains in my knees, I have to wait for some mysterious conjunction of the planets for a woman to even look sideways at me and the dickhead probably has a bigger dick than I do!

Jesus ****ing christ. Thanks for ruining my day OP!

H3llR4iser

catallus wrote: »

I'm not gonna lie, I'm bitter!

I'd have to work about 25 years full time with no breaks to earn what that guy gets in a bloody week! €1.46M per week.

http://www.paywizard.org/main/salary/vip-check/soccer-players

He snaps his fingers and gets the most beautiful women in the world bowing at his feet!

And this morning I wake up with a bloody pimple on my face!

I don't even play football and still have pains in my knees, I have to wait for some mysterious conjunction of the planets for a woman to even look sideways at me and the dickhead probably has a bigger dick than I do!

Jesus ****ing christ. Thanks for ruining my day OP!

Lol sorry man, if it's any consolation this was my reaction as well. It's like when you hear that somebody, who already has tonnes of money, wins the lotto - it leaves you with that "I must have angered some really powerful divinity in my past life!" feeling

jimgoose

catallus wrote: »

...Jesus ****ing christ. Thanks for ruining my day OP!

There was a thread over the road there about the top ten turn-offs for women, or somesuch. I'm no expert, but if you take a word in the lug from an old road-tramp, one thing that leaves them high-and-dry very fast is BLOODY WHINING like a little bee-yatch because some youngfella has more money than you! :pac::pac::pac:

catallus

jimgoose wrote: »

BLOODY WHINING like a little bee-yatch because some youngfella has more money than you! :pac::pac::pac:

Ah what bloody difference does it make at this stage, I'm sick of putting a happy face it on it! I want to be rich!!!!!!!! God ****ing damn it!

I'm not much older than him and he's already had ten times the poon I'll ever hope to see!

No wonder the bastard is always smiling!

stephenl15

I don't think the story is true tbh. All seems like BS to me.

OneOfThem

Probably 'lost' it on his table as they were walking past? Was my first thought. But I suppose stranger things have happened.

Not sure what the comments about the girls looking like they would be bitches, high maintenence, etc are all about. Just normal good looking girls dressed up for a night out?

Smacks of "I don't even want pretty girls anyway, even if they would give me the time of day, because they're probably bitches, probably... Yeah, that's it."

jimgoose

OneOfThem wrote: »

...Smacks of "I don't even want pretty girls anyway, even if they would give me the time of day, because they're probably bitches, probably... Yeah, that's it."

Exactly. As opposed to: wash and dress yourself properly, carry yourself well, walk across that room like you gods-dammit own the place and strike up a conversation like you've been all over the world twice, while maintaining just a hint of polite disinterest. You'll have them singing Avé Maria with their ladyparts in jig-time!

ancapailldorcha

jimgoose wrote: »

You'll have them singing Avé Maria with their ladyparts in jig-time!

Less of this please.

jimgoose

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Less of this please.

I do apologise for the crudity, and humbly submit this:

Calibos

There was a friend of a friend who was from a rich family, seriously good looking bloke, pulled the best looking girls, was captain of the Rugby team. I consoled myself that he was probably thick as fcuk. No offense to my friend but he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box and I assumed the good looking rich sporty friend was in the same class in secondary with him.

I realised that this was likely not the case and they must have formed the gang in primary before they got streamed into different classes in secondary, when I woke up in St Vincents from an Operation donkeys years later and saw this friend of a friend consulting with the patient in the next bed. The Fcuker was now a Doctor. Turns out he hit a home run in the genetics lottery. Not only was he extremely handsome, extremely gifted in sport, extremely rich. He was also extremely intelligent too. B@stard!

H3llR4iser

Calibos wrote: »

There was a friend of a friend who was from a rich family, seriously good looking bloke, pulled the best looking girls, was captain of the Rugby team. I consoled myself that he was probably thick as fcuk. No offense to my friend but he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box and I assumed the good looking rich sporty friend was in the same class in secondary with him.

I realised that this was likely not the case and they must have formed the gang in primary before they got streamed into different classes in secondary, when I woke up in St Vincents from an Operation donkeys years later and saw this friend of a friend consulting with the patient in the next bed. The Fcuker was now a Doctor. Turns out he hit a home run in the genetics lottery. Not only was he extremely handsome, extremely gifted in sport, extremely rich. He was also extremely intelligent too. B@stard!

And I also suspect his dad was a doctor himself, am I right? Still in the category of "some guys have it all".

Calibos

Calibos wrote: »

Not only was he extremely handsome, extremely gifted in sport, extremely rich. He was also extremely intelligent too. B@stard!

Replying to the thread here not you - only quoting you as a good spring board to do it from I guess one of the best moments in my life - and I can almost remember the exact day it happened - was when I switched from judging myself by the standards of others to looking at life a different way.

And I was a miserable total layabout slob for much of my life right up to the end of college and a bit beyond. And I justified much of it to myself thinking "I will never earn as much as my brother - look as good as that sports guy - be as smart or articulate as Christopher hitchens - understand science like Neil Tyson - win fights like Royce - play football like - -- - - " and so on and so on.

And it really did feel like "some guys have it all" and I even gave up to the degree that - while I never considered killing myself - I did go to bed many nights willing myself not to wake up again.

But I remember a point in my life - almost to the day - where I decided that I was not going to compare myself to anyone any more. And certainly not use my lack of attaining those standards as an excuse for not trying.

Instead I set myself one life goal - and a very simple one. I would judge myself against no one except the person I was the day before. And I would struggle to be better than that person every day in SOME way - no matter how small. Either run a little faster or further - know a little more knowledge - have a bit more experience - be a little stronger - or whatever. I simply would not allow myself to go to bed on ANY night until I had somehow bettered myself over the "me" from the day before.

And now it is ME that some people admit on occasion "I want to be more like you" or they ask "how do you do...." or "where do you find the time or energy for....." or "Could you give my any advice on how I could....." and more.

So yea - some guys do "have it all" - but so what - because in the end we are all living our life path not theirs - and our own goals and achieving them is so much more stimulating and satisfying than looking at the lives or others and reveling in jealousy or lust or fantasizing us to be in their shoes.

So they may have it all - but they have nothing I want - so they are welcome to it - and I am HAPPY for them.

Wibbs

Now for me, though I read him with more care than most, Taxie can be a bit of a hippie and I'm like Cartman when it comes to hippies, but damn he's firing on all cylinders with that post.

Print that out and reread it. It's well worth the ink and rereading.

jimgoose

Wibbs wrote: »

Now for me, though I read him with more care than most, Taxie can be a bit of a hippie and I'm like Cartman when it comes to hippies, but damn he's firing on all cylinders with that post...

Yeah yeah, but he makes my braaaaane thump with all that Kwai-Chang Caine shiz-nit!

jimgoose

jimgoose wrote: »

Yeah yeah, but he makes my braaaaane thump with all that Kwai-Chang Caine shiz-nit!

Please do not make me google that - I have no idea what half of those words were And just when I was reveling in the revelation that I am apparently a hippy now And I do not know all that many (none) IT programmer hippies so I thought I was a first

jimgoose

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Please do not make me google that - I have no idea what half of those words were And just when I was reveling in the revelation that I am apparently a hippy now And I do not know all that many (none) IT programmer hippies so I thought I was a first

Don't sweat it Tax, Wibbs makes Teddy Roosevelt look like Che Guevera!

H3llR4iser

All this wanted to be was a lighthearted thread about how somebody who certainly needs no help getting women, gets them literally thrown at him by pure chance - a bit like the "rich guy goes to the casino, hits jackpot on slot machines" stories that every now and then float about.

Leave it to the internet to make a philosophical discussion out of anything :D:D

Muckracker

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yeah, but did he smash?...It's probably dodgey enough being a celebrity and getting involved with randoms






You're eating/lifting wrong

This is Ronaldo we're talking about. They probably raped him.

Calibos

H3llR4iser wrote: »

All this wanted to be was a lighthearted thread about how somebody who certainly needs no help getting women, gets them literally thrown at him by pure chance - a bit like the "rich guy goes to the casino, hits jackpot on slot machines" stories that every now and then float about.

Leave it to the internet to make a philosophical discussion out of anything :D:D

Speaking of which...I seethed with anger when I heard that Jennifer Lopez' mother won a couple of million dollars on the slots a few years ago...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2918765/Jennifer-Lopez-steps-black-coat-revealing-mother-Guadalupe-won-2-4-MILLION-playing-slot-machines-2004.html