Concerned Uncle

luckydingo

Hi

I was looking for some advice re my near 3 year old nephew. he will be three the end of August.

Just for some back story:

He is the younger of two siblings and i myself also have two children. I started to get a bit concerned about his development around Christmas last year. He was making no effort to talk really, a lot of grunting and gesturing (which in fairness on its own and for a 27 month old wouldn't be extraordinarily unusual)

He was and continues to be later hitting all his milestones then his sister and my two - i think that's what has me concerned as while i know every child is different he is so far behind where the elder two syblings were at his age, and in fact he is closer in behavior to my 20 month old.

He was very late walking and while my sister regularly tells me funny story's of things he says around the house I know deep down they aren't clear sentences. She can understand as she is mum. Anyone else wouldn't. Of late he does have a few more but he is very very babyish.

When all four children are together he plays on his own - the other three get stuck in.

I've raised it with my parents (his grandparents) as my sister is a sensitive soul and i really don't want to upset her but i'm worried for the little guy. I don't think there is anything sinister at play but i do think he needs a little bit of help or to be cheeked out.

I've wondered maybe he has hearing issues hence the bad speech and off balance so late walking? but my gut is eating away at me a bit.
He doesn't acknowledge you when he comes to the house he just clings to mum for about an hour and when he eventually loosens up hes off on his own. Is he just shy... i dont know but he has been in childcare since about 6 months old so its not that he is not used to being exposed to others. If he was at home with mum all day and never seeing anyone i could understand but the little fella is in professional childare close on 2.5 years.

Individually you mightn't worry about some of these things but combined the worry me, not talking properly, very late to walk, very very shy & clingy to mun.

Oh and hes always asleep. A while back he slept for 16 hours a day for a few days in a row. I was horrified. Never mind the sleeping just the fact that he should have been woken to be fed or given water etc. When he turns up somewhere after even just a small drive his eyes are in the back of his head and takes an age to come round.

Apologies for the rambling nature of the thread but perhaps someone here could advise me:

Mind my own business?
Leave him be he's just a bit behind?
Push her to bring him to doc?

I mean he is in childcare and i would have thought they would give a heads up if they were concerned.

Thanks guys

Ashbx

My godson was scarily similar to yours in terms of his speech. His parents didn't notice how bad it was because they were able to understand him. It came to the point that he was getting left out by the other kids in his crèche (when he was in it) because the kids couldn't understand him.

He turned four in January and since starting Montessori school last year, everything has improved so hopefully it will be the same for your nephew.

In the meantime, perhaps you can suggest bringing your nephew to see a speech therapist. My mother is a speech therapist so asked her to pop down to my godson. They wont see a speech therapist until they are at least 4 however, talking to one can give you some ideas or games to play in order to improve your childs speech. A few tips I was told from my mam was reading a bedtime story every night, make sure they look and see your mouth when you talk so that they watch and learn how these words should be said, try teach them a new word everyday and praise them when they pronounce it correctly. Little things like that make a huge difference!

January

Usually the creche would have spotted anything to worry about by now and raised it with mum.

I know that when my daughter was going through something similar everyone else was in denial except for me, I could see it plain as day. I know sometimes the opposite is true also.

Early intervention is key to tackling these issues, long waiting lists, especially if your sister cannot afford to go privatetely are a big problem in this country.

My first step would probably be to get your sister to even take the child to an audiologist to see if there is a problem with hearing, as you said it could be something as simple as fluid causing hearing delay and no balance. If the child is 3 will they be starting their ECCE year this year? Usually most issues are copped then.

luckydingo

Thanks for the tips - The 3 year developmental check should be due soon too so you should hope if there is any small issues they will be picked up there.

So hard when your trying not to hurt someones feelings.

Mink

He sounds fairly similar to my son who is also 3 in August (don't worry I'm not your sister ). Speech very difficult to understand sometimes, sleeps a lot (although not recently), can be very clingy and not great at all with new people & situations.

It is very sweet that you are concerned, it shows you do care. But I know if a non-professional suggested to me that something was up with my son, my knee jerk reaction would be to take major offence. I don't know why but there you go.

I first suspected something at 9mths re my son's speech and spoke to the PHN on and off about it. Then before he was 2 I got him in to see a speech therapist and he's been in twice. She has only ever assessed and so far has seen no need for any action to be taken (other than giving me tips of stuff to do at home) and says he just still a few months behind his peers. My own estimation is he's at least 6 months behind his peers.

He has another assessment at age 3 so we will see then but although he is still quite behind, I know that he's really improved. As others have said, any issues will get picked up with PHN, playschool and/or the crèche has already said something to your sister and he could well be on a waiting list to be assessed.

luckydingo

Thanks Mink

Pretty sure your right and I think I would be the same.

Fair play to you for going to a speech therapist. I know a lot of friends who brought children who spoke much clearer then my nephew to speech therapy and I think that's what worries me a bit.

I think there is an opportunity being missed here to give the little guy a push on or something just before he falls further behind.

Thanks again

Ashbx

As I said in my post OP, he will not be able to go to speech therapy properly until he is 4 so no need to worry now anyway. So much can change in the space of a few months.

I really do suggest trying out some of my tips above....these tips are directly from a speech therapist of over 35 years.

Roselm

Ashbx wrote: »

As I said in my post OP, he will not be able to go to speech therapy properly until he is 4 so no need to worry now anyway. So much can change in the space of a few months.

I really do suggest trying out some of my tips above....these tips are directly from a speech therapist of over 35 years.

Yes most children needing speech (pronunciation) work aren't suitable until 4 but younger ones can definitely be seen for language work (vocabulary, getting longer sentences, understanding of language).
I would advise referring and the SLT can advise of the best course of action.