Ladies and Gents, what to do in these situations?

IrishExpat

Was debating whether to add this to the trivial annoyances one, just sit at home steaming or give it a thread of its own so ... on to AH.

Ladies and gentlemen of AH - I need some honest to god opinions on what to do in these situations.

A summary: I was comforting the gf today (in public) as she's going through a hard time with her father undergoing treatment for cancer, and a few other issues.

Now it's no secret that most men (at least in the West) are now uneasy to be seen with a crying girl in public and people can make unfounded assumptions ...

Sitting outside on a terrace, herself with a Tila and me with a coffee trying to comfort her but of course she's crying (it's natural),

only to spot this sour-pussed woman making a beeline for the table.
The only way to describe her was 'butch' and angry.

This deranged cow starts screaming at me in Spanish that I'm harassing the girl and to go away, can't I see she doesn't want me there.

I can handle myself in Spanish but the two of us couldn't find the words there and then. This stupid cnut then tries to rally all of the women in the vicinity to get me to leave the area only for the bar manager (a saner woman) to tell her I was clearly comforting my gf and to not get involved.

She kept at it - 'A la mierda los hombres' and would not shut it.

I do not give a flying about her men issues or her perceptions, I've never once seen the likes of it ... and as my priority was my gf, I did not take out the phone to get police assistance (she was now getting aggressive with her hands banging the table).

I paid for the drinks and we left towards the nearest Metro.

Yes, both men and women can both do damage, and domestic problems do exist - but I am still shaking about this over-reaction, but it's also cemented my fear of being seen with a crying girl/woman.

What would you have done?

endacl

I'd have ignored crazy.

Luke92

Probably would have whipped out me flute and start doing a helicopter towards her. Scare her off quick enough.

Menas

Had you not have comforted your girlfriend you could well be single by now. So I would not worry about it. Just some looper.

IrishExpat

@Luke92

Judging by her look, she would have gladly cut it off as a man-hating trophy.

razorblunt

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

DEFTLEFTHAND

That sounds like a bit of a nasty experience alright. Did your gf not explain the situation to this animal?

Carlos Orange

razorblunt wrote: »

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

I think this particular inquisition is not unexpected.

That's not a situation that's going to arise too often. Some crazy cow acted crazy. It happens. No need to be afraid of comforting your girlfriend in public because of one idiot.

eviltwin

Did your girlfriend not tell your one it was okay?

pmasterson95

Start growling and barking and piss on crazys leg.

Be the alpha crazy.

IrishExpat

She wasn't in a position to unfortunately, as quite upset with other news.
We left the terrace, the crazy wasn't a priority and we wouldn't have gained anything reasoning with her.

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

That sounds like a bit of a nasty experience alright. Did your gf not explain the situation to this animal?

CardBordWindow

Perras estén locas

kneemos

.

Buzz Meeks

It would be great if your girlfriend could of played along to it.
You could pretend beat her and shout a lot before dragging her into your
car. Before driving off just give the spanish woman the cut throat gesture
while nodding towards your wife, and wink. Evil laugh and exit.

That's what i'd try to do anyway.

One eyed Jack

IrishExpat wrote: »

She wasn't in a position to unfortunately, as quite upset with other news.
We left the terrace, the crazy wasn't a priority and we wouldn't have gained anything reasoning with her.

I was going to suggest this. You and your girlfriend handled the situation the best way really. It was just one of those times when someone misread the situation and got the wrong idea, and at that point you were better off to leave rather than stick around trying to explain.

doulikeit

Explain to her politely that she has made a dreadful error and to remain calm get everyone sitting down and relax, and as calmly as possible explain to her if she so much as looks in your direction again you are going to stick a fcuking fork in her windpipe

neil_

Well if you don't share a common language there's precisely sweet **** all you can do.

IrishExpat wrote: »

Now it's no secret that most men (at least in the West) are now uneasy to be seen with a crying girl in public and people can make unfounded assumptions ...

I disagree with that. I think what happened to you is extremely uncommon. It would be fair enough if someone came over and asked if she was ok but getting aggressive like that woman did is not something I've heard of before.

TheLastMohican

hasta la vista porco!

Wabbit Ears

unless your GF was in a coma she should have told your woman you were not harassing her.

Crying GF literally creating as much drama as humanly possible, You must've cashed in your man card when you met this one.

IrishExpat

neil_ wrote: »

Well if you don't share a common language there's precisely sweet **** all you can do.

Well I 'do' speak the language daily, but as not fluent yet I find it difficult to keep the level if my adrenaline spikes or if in a conflict,

no grammar book preps you for it.

Replaying the situation I could have said any of 100's of short phrases but they escaped me in the moment.

Carlos Orange

IrishExpat wrote: »

Well I 'do' speak the language daily, but as not fluent yet I find it difficult to keep the level if my adrenaline spikes or if in a conflict,

You probably couldn't have convinced her of anything even if you spoke the same language.

doulikeit

neil_ wrote:

I disagree with that. I think what happened to you is extremely uncommon. It would be fair enough if someone came over and asked if she was ok but getting aggressive like that woman did is not something I've heard of before.

Unfortunately seen it happen before outside nightclubs, couple of girls or lads drunk see something out of context absolutely no talking to them fight ensues, I know the lady from op story was not drunk and out side a night club but it happens more than you think

The_Valeyard

Should have bottled her OP.



Maybe over reaction.


Fair play for keeping calm in that situation. I could have seen red very quickly.

IrishExpat

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

unless your GF was in a coma she should have told your woman you were not harassing her.

Crying GF literally creating as much drama as humanly possible, You must've cashed in your man card when you met this one.

Quietly sobbing with my hand on her shoulder ... but ok.

Must not feed ... reported/blocked all the same.

razorblunt

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

unless your GF was in a coma she should have told your woman you were not harassing her.

Crying GF literally creating as much drama as humanly possible, You must've cashed in your man card when you met this one.

Says the fella with the name Wabbit.

Wabbit Ears

IrishExpat wrote: »

Quietly sobbing with my hand on her shoulder ... but ok.

Must not feed ... reported/blocked all the same.

The responsibility in this situation was for her to say something. Sobbing on your shoulder doesn't render anyone ( well, a two year old having a tantrum aside) incapable of just saying something that would have diffused it.

Wabbit Ears

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

The responsibility in this situation was for her to say something. Sobbing on your shoulder doesn't render anyone ( well, a two year old having a tantrum aside) incapable of just saying something that would have diffused it.

Will you stop insulting his girlfriend, please.

kneemos

What's the point in giving advice about how to behave in a situation when that situation is over ?
Are you planning a reenactment?

Might get more attention in Personal Issues.

dont bother

what a crap situation, obviously made worse by the mad woman coming into it like that.

i do agree however with another poster who said your GF, regardless of hearing news SHOULD have said SOMETHING during the altercation.

I can't see how she couldnt have even through tears shouted something to the effect of "fvck off b!tch"

walkingshadow

Buzz Meeks wrote: »

It would be great if your girlfriend could of played along to it.
You could pretend beat her and shout a lot before dragging her into your
car. Before driving off just give the spanish woman the cut throat gesture
while nodding towards your wife, and wink. Evil laugh and exit.

That's what i'd try to do anyway.

Did the OP say anything in his post that might suggest that his girlfriend may have other more pressing concerns on her mind, and therefore not had the humour or motivation to engage in some stupid play acting to provoke further reaction from the Spanish woman?

eviltwin

IrishExpat wrote: »

Quietly sobbing with my hand on her shoulder ... but ok.

Must not feed ... reported/blocked all the same.

Why? He has a point.

Mad woman clearly wasn't going to listen to anything you were going to say. All your girlfriend had to say was 'it's fine, he's not upsetting me'. I appreciate she was upset so maybe didn't want to engage but it's more upsetting to have some mad yoke intrude in a very private moment than tell them to leave you alone.

Cold War Kid

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

unless your GF was in a coma she should have told your woman you were not harassing her.

Crying GF literally creating as much drama as humanly possible, You must've cashed in your man card when you met this one.

I'ma go with crazy woman being the drama creator, rather than the girl crying over her father undergoing cancer treatment.

Cold War Kid

The Op did say he and his GF were stuck for the Spanish words at the time, and the bar manager ended up telling the woman she was losing it over nothing.

Saying the OP must have handed in his man card is just being inflammatory for the craic; there's no real reason to come to that conclusion.

That said though, the stuff about it being dangerous for a man to be seen with a woman is nonsense. For God's sake don't be letting a notion like that ruin your social life.

Buzz Meeks

walkingshadow wrote: »

Did the OP say anything in his post that might suggest that his girlfriend may have other more pressing concerns on her mind, and therefore not had the humour or motivation to engage in some stupid play acting to provoke further reaction from the Spanish woman?

I don't give a flying f_ck what either the OP, his Girlfriend or you have on your minds.

harry Bailey esq

doulikeit wrote: »

going to stick a fcuking fork in her windpipe

Now we are getting somewhere.Also,fire is your friend OP,dont forget that.

Santa Cruz

IrishExpat wrote: »

Was debating whether to add this to the trivial annoyances one, just sit at home steaming or give it a thread of its own so ... on to AH.

Ladies and gentlemen of AH - I need some honest to god opinions on what to do in these situations.

A summary: I was comforting the gf today (in public) as she's going through a hard time with her father undergoing treatment for cancer, and a few other issues.

Now it's no secret that most men (at least in the West) are now uneasy to be seen with a crying girl in public and people can make unfounded assumptions ...

Sitting outside on a terrace, herself with a Tila and me with a coffee trying to comfort her but of course she's crying (it's natural),

only to spot this sour-pussed woman making a beeline for the table.
The only way to describe her was 'butch' and angry.

This deranged cow starts screaming at me in Spanish that I'm harassing the girl and to go away, can't I see she doesn't want me there.

I can handle myself in Spanish but the two of us couldn't find the words there and then. This stupid cnut then tries to rally all of the women in the vicinity to get me to leave the area only for the bar manager (a saner woman) to tell her I was clearly comforting my gf and to not get involved.

She kept at it - 'A la mierda los hombres' and would not shut it.

I do not give a flying about her men issues or her perceptions, I've never once seen the likes of it ... and as my priority was my gf, I did not take out the phone to get police assistance (she was now getting aggressive with her hands banging the table).

I paid for the drinks and we left towards the nearest Metro.

Yes, both men and women can both do damage, and domestic problems do exist - but I am still shaking about this over-reaction, but it's also cemented my fear of being seen with a crying girl/woman.

What would you have done?

Give the Senora a facial

DeadHand

She was just mad cow. Don't see why you're so disconcerted about it. Don't waste anymore thought on her and certainly don't let her idiocy make you hesitant to comfort anyone publically .

If you let one crazy person change your behaviour, then there are two over reactions in this story.

The GF could at least have waved her away, even if she was distraught to the point of speechlessness, so that part is rather puzzling.

fleet_admiral

Did the crazed lunatic look like this?

Summer wind

Just take a deep breath hold your head high and walk away. As long as you know you have done nothing wrong why would you care what she thought.

Samaris

Some rather nasty reactions to this story.

It's stated that the gf and the OP were stuck for words, so I don't know where all this "it's all her fault for being an attentionseeker" rubbish is coming from. If someone came over and started shouting and giving out stink in another language at my partner, especially when I was already scattered and crying, I'd probably lose control of said second language as well!

Also, forget about this reaction. No, most people don't actually think anything of a couple sitting together where one is obviously upset, particularly if the body-language of the other is comforting, which it sounds like ye're situation was. Just because you're a bloke and she isn't doesn't mean that you should be embarrassed or worried as to what other people will think. Hell, the mysterious "people" would probably think worse if she's crying and you're looking like you don't want to be there - there's more of a suggestion of a row just happened I don't mean to sound harsh here, but if her father's dying of cancer, she has more right to be upset than you have to not want her to show it.

You handled it as well as possible, OP. The first step to forgiveness is realising the other person is bat**** crazy.

it's a rather strangely phrased question, like has this come up a lot for you?

I'd have called the cops on her, but I think ignoring her was fine.

granted yr gf was upset but I've been upset before I never lost the power to tell someone who was in my face unwanted to fcuk off sharpish,but you were there and we weren't I spose

jimgoose

Tell her to fcuk off. Fast. Or you'll make her fcuk off. There is no excuse for that sort of carry-on, unless you happen to be an escaped lunatic.

hatrickpatrick

I'd have called the police, tbh.

justchecked

Tell your gf to hug you - this publicly proves the spanish goofy bitch wrong.
Then tell said lunatic to fvck off .
Then go get a cab.

Well done for not popping her right in her face.