Broken up with / heartbroken / moving on

Young_gunner

hello
Guy in 30s, just recently single again after being broken up with by a girl i thought was the One.........it's the worst i've ever felt, eating and sleeping are a struggle and the joy has gone out of a lot of things in life.....turns out its as tough as people say!

just wondering how other people deal with this? and best ways to try move on and meet someone new in the future

life sucks right now!

Sunflower 27

Hi there

It sucks right now and it will suck for a while yet. Unfortunately there is no magic pill for heartbreak and how long it lasts depends on the individual.

In my experience, accepting the loss always helps people heal quicker. One way to prolong the misery is to hold on to hope.

Allow yourself to wallow for a while - I personally think that is important. Grieve what you thought you would have but put a time limit on it.

Getting back out there is not easy when you have a broken heart, so give yourself some time to slowly build yourself up again.

A broken heart is the pits, but you WILL heal. Unfortunately the only thing that helps is time - and some good friends.

Young_gunner

Sunflower 27 wrote: »

Hi there

It sucks right now and it will suck for a while yet. Unfortunately there is no magic pill for heartbreak and how long it lasts depends on the individual.

In my experience, accepting the loss always helps people heal quicker. One way to prolong the misery is to hold on to hope.

Allow yourself to wallow for a while - I personally think that is important. Grieve what you thought you would have but put a time limit on it.

Getting back out there is not easy when you have a broken heart, so give yourself some time to slowly build yourself up again.

A broken heart is the pits, but you WILL heal. Unfortunately the only thing that helps is time - and some good friends.

Great post - really makes sense, thanks!

It happened to me last year and it's the hardest thing I've been through, but it will get better in time (I know every time someone says that you feel like screaming!).

You're going through a major shock so it's natural that you find it hard to eat and sleep. It's all part of the process and unfortunately you just have to go through it and get all the emotions out of your system. As the above poster said, allow yourself to wallow and feel like crap but don't let it go on too long. There will be times you look back on how things were and wonder how the hell everything went wrong, or you'll obsess about trying to make sense of it all, but sometimes you just can't.

Don't even think about meeting someone new for a while. You're not ready yet and it wouldn't be fair to yourself or the girl. Park those thoughts until you're healed. For now, focus on yourself and do things you enjoy, whether its gigs, sports, travelling, cooking, learning a language, whatever. Meetup.com is great for meeting new people with the same interests as you. You might feel like you're going through the motions for a while but you will start to feel more positive, slowly but surely. Then one day you'll realise you haven't thought about her in a while because you've been too busy living your life.

Wishing you the best OP, it's hard but it can actually be a rewarding experience to get to know yourself again. You will be ok.

Young_gunner

just wanted to say thanks a lot for the above, it was / is all bang on the money - things gradually improving

Wright

Make a point to be out and do new things and meet new people. Meetup.com is a good website, you'll be sure to find gatherings based around your interests for sure.

It does suck. Too much. Its gonna hurt a long time probably. But that time will be reduced if you put in the work now on expanding your horizons. Good luck.

Sunflower 27

Throw yourself into a new hobby if you are able. And the meetup suggestion is a great one.

Heartbreak changes people in many ways and sometimes it brings about a period of personal growth.

I'm eally glad to hear you are on the mend. When you are in the eye of the storm it is hard to imagine life will ever be good again, but of course, it always is when you get back into it.

Young_gunner

Thanks! Yeah getting there slowly but surely - not ready to meet someone new just yet but miles ahead of where I was a few weeks back!!