Terrible news

darkpagandeath

Posting here as I don't use the other sub forums. Please move if needed.

We found out a few days ago that my other half has Lymphoma, It's terrifying me. We don't know the outlook yet she had an op to remove some of the lump and they came back with this diagnosis. I suffer from chronic depression it's not helping my mental state I want to be the strong one now but can't seem to do it. I have stayed away from looking this up but I do know this is a bad cancer not that any are good. Any advice from people who have gone though this would be very appreciated.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

eternal

People recover from cancer a lot. Try not the let the anxiety build up too much, find a professional to talk to who can reason everything out. I've seen people pull through before and hopefully it will be the same for you two. You don't have to be strong, only try to be yourself, it's normal to be upset and frightened. Stay hopeful.

darkpagandeath

eternal wrote: »

People recover from cancer a lot. Try not the let the anxiety build up too much, find a professional to talk to who can reason everything out. I've seen people pull through before and hopefully it will be the same for you two. You don't have to be strong, only try to be yourself, it's normal to be upset and frightened. Stay hopeful.

It's tough though were not even 40. This is the worst part I thought we would be together into our 60/70s. It just breaks my heart at this stage.

Topps

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Posting here as I don't use the other sub forums. Please move if needed.

We found out a few days ago that my other half has Lymphoma, It's terrifying me. We don't know the outlook yet she had an op to remove some of the lump and they came back with this diagnosis. I suffer from chronic depression it's not helping my mental state I want to be the strong one now but can't seem to do it. I have stayed away from looking this up but I do know this is a bad cancer not that any are good. Any advice from people who have gone though this would be very appreciated.

Do the best you can do for your partner. Be there every step. I wish you the best of luck.

Topps

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Posting here as I don't use the other sub forums. Please move if needed.

We found out a few days ago that my other half has Lymphoma, It's terrifying me. We don't know the outlook yet she had an op to remove some of the lump and they came back with this diagnosis. I suffer from chronic depression it's not helping my mental state I want to be the strong one now but can't seem to do it. I have stayed away from looking this up but I do know this is a bad cancer not that any are good. Any advice from people who have gone though this would be very appreciated.

Do the best you can do for your partner. Be there every step. I wish you the best of luck.

eternal

darkpagandeath wrote: »

It's tough though were not even 40. This is the worst part I thought we would be together into our 60/70s. It just breaks my heart at this stage.

Don't think the worst. Seriously, giving up now is not good. People with cancer, even fully blown cancer can pull through with the right treatment and by looking after themselves properly. Just be there for her and be a shoulder for her and at least she is not alone facing it. It is beatable. Don't be negative. Focus now on getting through the treatments because they make people very sick and then recovering. Sure you might be 90 and hanging onto your zimmerframes together yet!!

NachoBusiness

Sorry to hear that, OP. Can't think of any family unfortunately that doesn't seem to have been affected in one way or another by that damn illness. The following interview is with an Irish author who has battled cancer and beat it twice now and so maybe something she has to say may be of interest. If not, I'd say try and seek out other people who have been where you are know what you're about to go through, as at the end of the day, they are the only ones who really know anything that is worth knowing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdIZZs-Q-t0

coffeepls

Hi darkpagandeath - it's ok to be scared, and it's ok to be upset. You care. Don't worry about being 'strong'. Just being there - that's really what matters. I have cancer & mine is stage 4, metastatic. I have doctors to be those medically clever people, but the most important thing is that I have family & friends who are just there for me. Sometimes they've been more upset than me - but that really doesn't matter, it's that they care & they're with me.

My heart goes out to you & your partner. I would suggest you ring the Irish Cancer Society - just tell them what you have written right here. They are there for family & friends too. Phone 1800 200700, after 9am (not at this hour!). Nice nice people who care.

Chin up hun & hugs to you.

roverrules

I was diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma while my missus was pregnant with our daughter, the same daughter who just completed her LC.

TBH the same cancer can affect different people different ways, but its by no means the death sentence it used to be.

Be strong, be optimistic

Be strong. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Talking to someone would be a great help. I know it's difficult now, but try to be positive, this can be beaten. Best Wishes to you both.

Canis Lupus

Depends on the type and the sub type. I'm currently under treatment for classical Hodgkins. Finished escBEACOPP (as I was stage 4) and I've just got to do some small bit of rads on the bulky site in my chest. I 'should' walk away from this and live a long happy life (I'm 34).

Cancer is scary but lymphoma is very curable. There will potentially be some rough days ahead with the chemo but it'll be done and dusted before you know it. If you want, feel free to PM any questions however bear in mind I only have experience with classical Hodge. Treatments for non hodge etc are all different.

Menas

Sorry to hear that OP. Staying away from the internet prognosis is a good idea...and that aside, just try to be strong for your OP. Good luck to the two of ye.

razorblunt

Best wishes buddy, not much more I can add other than to say there's an Illness forum under Science & Health where you may get more support.

Hey OP, if you want this moved at any point just say the word but rest assured we won't allow anyone to be a dick here.

galljga1

Ah man, I feel for you. Try to be strong. It certainly is not the most serious cancer but they are all scary. You will be together well into your seventies

darkpagandeath

Deleted User wrote: »

Hey OP, if you want this moved at any point just say the word but rest assured we won't allow anyone to be a dick here.

Thanks, Not much to say till Monday so depending on what goes down I will update. If it's good news and I hope it will be crossing fingers I will request this to be closed. Just it's easier to talk to strangers about this kind of stuff and get outside help.

I'd be very careful about hoping for good advice on AH. Not because I think people will be dicks so much as I think the advice you need is professional and tailored to you.

darkpagandeath

Still in a holding pattern atm, Treatment options are coming Friday is going to see if it has spread to other nodes. Fingers crossed.

Samaris

I'm so sorry, OP. But don't give up hope. Cancer is terrifying, but treatments have improved and continued to improve. I wish you both all the best.

Stay strong.

Penny Tration

Op, don't think the worst.

Of course you're going to be terrified, it's natural. It's okay to be upset and worried. Like you said though, you're barely in your forties. So, she's young and presumably in good health otherwise? That is going to stand to her. Lymphoma is very treatable.

Cancer isn't a death sentence anymore, not the way it used to be. Just keep the hope and as much positivity as you can. You and she will be in my thoughts. X

itac

OP,
My brother has a type of Follicular Lymphoma (nope, i'd never heard of it either!) which is fairly rare. He was diagnosed around this time two years ago after almost a month and half of biopsies and blood tests and one stupid Doc who fecked up a biopsy meaning he had to go through it all again!

At the time, the outlook was not good. He had lost so much weight, he was skeletal looking and very weak. Chemo started, he seemed to get worse, he couldn't even walk the 4 steps to the bathroom, had to be carried and helped there. The chemo hit hard and it took him weeks of using a walker to be able to walk 20m down the hospital corridor to the day room.

In May this year, he cycled 120k. Last week he went out for a "short spin" and came home after doing close to 100k! That's not to say he's oerfect again, as his cancer is incurable, but with the right treatment, it's managable. So far, it's managing ok!

Whatever happens OP, please talk to people. Our family are incredibly lucky to have some amazing friends and family-one of the simplest and kindest things was an old family friend dropped out one day with a huge basket of food, so my Mum didn't have to worry about fixing lunch/dinner that day (i'd just had a kneecap replacement so was fairly useless for helping round the house!) and I remember just sitting at table tucking in thinking "this is exactly what we needed right now"-but it wouldn't have occurred to us to go out to lunch!

Talk to people, laugh with people, cry with people and let people help. Sometimes they will say stupid things but please know it's usually said with the best of intentions! I hope all goes as ok as it can for ye both,Xx

Canis Lupus

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Still in a holding pattern atm, Treatment options are coming Friday is going to see if it has spread to other nodes. Fingers crossed.

Have they said what variant it is (you don't have to answer that if you don't want to)

I'm sure you've potentially already read up about lymphoma but in case you haven't don't stress too much about node involvement. In other cancers when they spread it's makes prognosis very bad but for lymphoma it doesn't work that way. You'll likely find a couple more nodes with it regardless at least and it'll all be treated the same way. Cure rates for lymphoma are great and I'm sure if you've spoken to a hematologist already he/she will have advised you on that already.

By the by, speak to your docs about preparatory work. It might be useful for your GF to see a dentist now and get any immediate dental stuff out of the way now and also discuss whether she needs the flu vaccine etc (lymphoma chemo knocks out the immune system so if your GF has been putting off a filling or something similar now's the time to sort it as she'll have a hard time doing anything that carries an infection risk for the next few months).

Also, wouldn't hurt to give the house a good scrub and stock up on alcohol hand wash and stuff like that and learn to use it. Avoiding infections will be a big deal once the chemo starts up and running. Cleanliness will need to be your watch word for the coming months. I was hospitalised 3 sodding times during my treatment for infection and it's serious business. Try to avoid this as they generally will keep you in for anywhere up to 10 days and 10 days on a cancer ward is no f*cking fun let me tell ya.....

Anyway, best of luck to you both.

K.Flyer

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Still in a holding pattern atm, Treatment options are coming Friday is going to see if it has spread to other nodes. Fingers crossed.

Hey DPD, hope the news you got on Friday is good. I know how stressful it can be, I found once I clearly knew what we were dealing with that talking it out helped me.
Thinking of you both.

Exclamation Marc

Hey OP.

I'm currently receiving chemo for a Hodgkins Lymphoma which I was diagnosed with in March/April this year after a biopsy.

I was (am?) a stage III (which as I'm sure you'll find out and as other posters have mentioned is not as serious a staging as if it were a non-lymphoma cancer). I had ABVD treatment for 3 months before I went for a new scan in July to check in on everything (new procedures since this summer mean that they re-scan people after 3 months to re-evaluate things as normal).

The scan came back noting that what I originally had is now 95% inactive which is fantastic news (this is after 3 28 day cycles of chemo - I was in hospital for one full day every fortnight and on tablets in between). The remaining 5% is a small mass in my chest. My consultant has now changed my treatment to escalated BEACOPP for the final 2ish months in order to blast that final 5% and keep me away from radiotherapy if he can. But if it happens, it happens. I'm just finishing the first of my 4 BEACOPP cycles this weekend. It'll be a tougher treatment but it'll be worth it in the long run.

I was absolutely terrified when I was diagnosed (only turned 30 on the 20th of July) and all the horrible thoughts and fears went through my head. Being completely honest with you, and I'm not simply saying it to try to give you false hope; it is such a manageable treatment. The drugs and treatments are so good these days that I'm sure your other half will fly through it. The hardest part of this entire thing (and touch wood, as I'm not out of the woods yet) is the initial news and trying to digest it. Once you've dealt with the news, it gets a lot easier as everyone and everything will be there to help your other half and you through it. Don't look anything up online, it's all rubbish and extremely negative and a lot of it might never even occur or happen.

There will certainly be rough days but you'll get though them (if I can, anyone can!!), and I have to say that my life hasn't been hugely disrupted. Sure I'm off on long term sick leave, but I still see my friends, go to the gym when its quiet, get out and about and enjoy life, I even get out on a sneaky night out! Long gone are the days where cancer meant you're wrapped up in cotton wool for months or years. I did lose my hair yesterday funnily enough (and I've a massive head! Think Mars Attacks!) but life will not be miserable for you both. Knowing that at the end of the treatment, you'll get through it and be cancer-free gets you through the crap stuff. My GF has been amazing for me supporting me through it all (as have my folks) and I'm sure you will be too. Life will not be awful for you. You may get tough days as I said, but you will both still get to enjoy life throughout the treatment too. You'll have so many laughs and smiles in between the odd tough day here and there.

You'll both get through it and you'll sail through to the light at the end of the tunnel and get to walk away at the end; cured, healthy and happy.

And on a side note, as strange as it sounds, my consultant in SVPH said on my first consultation; "its never anyway a good thing to be diagnosed with cancer, but if you had to choose, lymphoma is near the top of the list given just how treatable and curable it is".

Feel free to PM me if you ever want any info or have any questions on anything from the serious to the silly about it, or if you've any questions or are just interested about anything I've gone through that might be relevant.

Stheno

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Posting here as I don't use the other sub forums. Please move if needed.

We found out a few days ago that my other half has Lymphoma, It's terrifying me. We don't know the outlook yet she had an op to remove some of the lump and they came back with this diagnosis. I suffer from chronic depression it's not helping my mental state I want to be the strong one now but can't seem to do it. I have stayed away from looking this up but I do know this is a bad cancer not that any are good. Any advice from people who have gone though this would be very appreciated.

If it's non hodgkins, it's a real young peoples disease. It's a highly curable cancer!

Louise McSharry on 2fm had it and is now in complete remission less than a year later and getting married this month

http://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/health-features/louise-mcsharry-yeah-i-had-cancer-it-wasnt-easy-it-was-hard-but-im-grand-31132440.html

The treatment is tough, but if it goes well, you will look back on it and wonder why you worried so much.

It's scary, I'd a breast cancer scare a few years ago and that was bad enough.

Take care of yourself and your OH, she'll need a bit of tlc, but don't forget you

Trudiha

That's utterly ****e, I'm so sorry.

I don't know anything about the type of cancer your wife has but I can tell you that you'll see the best in people over the next few months. Total strangers will put themselves out for you in a way you'd never expect and you and your wife will see the world in a different light when this is over.

And you will cope. Somedays, you'll even be the person you've always wished you were.

branie2

I really hope she recovers

Specialun

Stay strong OP

Im sure its far from easy, in fact i cannot imagine how difficult it is..however its really important both you and herself stay strong...mental strength is really important. If you ever want to just let it our AH will be here to help

darkpagandeath

Thanks for the support Guys and Girls.

darkpagandeath

An update, It's seems currently it's a monitor situation without treatment. In my mind I can't figure out if that's good or bad.

KKkitty

darkpagandeath wrote: »

An update, It's seems currently it's a monitor situation without treatment. In my mind I can't figure out if that's good or bad.

Don't be afraid to ask questions to the doctor. I know I could say don't do this or don't do that but try not to panic. Even if it's just venting through boards do it. We're all here for you. There's always going to be someone here on boards to be there for you.

darkpagandeath

KKkitty wrote: »

Don't be afraid to ask questions to the doctor. I know I could say don't do this or don't do that but try not to panic. Even if it's just venting through boards do it. We're all here for you. There's always going to be someone here on boards to be there for you.

That choked me up a little, Thank you for the input it's very much appreciated.

Alf Veedersane

darkpagandeath wrote: »

An update, It's seems currently it's a monitor situation without treatment. In my mind I can't figure out if that's good or bad.

From my own experience, that's a good thing.

Keep strong and keep positive

_Whimsical_

I tried to PM you but seems it's impossible. 3 people close to me have been through this illness in the last year and all are now recovered and back to their normal lives after treatment. While one was ill we got lots of messages from others who'd been through it and recovered too. Take heart, there is hope. I wish you and your partner all the best.

darkpagandeath

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I tried to PM you but seems it's impossible. 3 people close to me have been through this illness in the last year and all are now recovered and back to their normal lives after treatment. While one was ill we got lots of messages from others who'd been through it and recovered too. Take heart, there is hope. I wish you and your partner all the best.

That's very good to hear, sorry about the PM issue I turned it off due to activity issues.