Strange staffroom experience on teaching practice

barrymanilow

Hi,

I don't know if I'm posting this in the correct place. Maybe the Mods might have a better idea of where to put this ,humanities ,education maybe and that's fine if they want to move it.

I just want to relate something that happened to me when I was doing a two week placement in a special needs primary school. I'm not going to give any names obviously.

Anyway, I was in the staff room taking a breather. I was only there a few days and didn't know most of the staff yet. In the staff room there was full kitchen facilities, ovens etc. . . . The Principal was a very nice laid back guy and there was an easy atmosphere about the place. Besides me in the corner eating my sandwiches there was a group of female staff members, SNA s and a few teachers using the oven to bake a cake.

They took the cake out. It consisted of Swiss rolls and some other cakes that they had arranged into a penis shape. They were going to a Hen that weekend for a woman on the staff you see and the Principal had Okayed them to use the facilities to make some food etc. . . .

Anyway, there is me, a young guy in his early twenties nibbling awkwardly on my sandwiches while the group of women at the other table are tittering away and making penis jokes as they decorate the cake with icing etc. . . .

Again I was new to the school, and passing through for 2 weeks so they didn’t know me or acknowledge my presence. They definitely saw me though. It was a small kitchen.

I can't say it was my most comfortable lunch ever but I don’t have P.T.S.D either. In fact I thought it funny and it’s a story I tell whenever conversation turns to feminism just to provoke thought. The incident came up during a light hearted conversation I had with a friend about how males can also be made to feel uncomfortable by objectification on the part of women in the workplace etc. . . .

Not really complaining about it. I almost think that around Hen stuff is the only time you really catch women at that craic. Just interested to hear opinions on it especially from women , how would they feel if they were new in a workplace and a bunch of stranger guys were making and decorating a vagina cake while they sat there watching as the only woman in the room ? Are guys expected/inclined to laugh off an incident like that or would women also were the shoe on the other foot ? Again not complaining , just interested in provoking thought and hearing some perspectives .

Triceratops Ballet

For me gender doesn't even come in to it TBH I don't think the work place is appropriate for cakes depicting penises OR vaginas. I'm a woman and I would have been as uncomfortable as hell in the exact same situation.

In a previous job I was in one of the girls I worked with was really geared up for her hen and had some talking penis video crap she was showing round the office. I didn't complain about it then and there but I did bring it to the attention of management at my next review. It's just not work appropriate.

I'm sure had the principal known the kind of cake they were baking he would have had some thoughts on it

MagicMarker

Lighten up OP

eviltwin

Wouldn't bother me, hen and stag banter is just that and I'd have ignored it or left if I was uncomfortable

Obviously if it's a regular thing with the off colour humour it's out of order but for an occasion like that I would be fine with it.

Nody

While I agree my first reaction was let by gone be by gone's think about the reverse situation: A group of men are sitting around in the kitchen joking about how they are playing with the vagina and how they are going to get to see some serious pussy tonight in front of the new young female staff member.

How would that go down? Straight harassment claim with the business apologizing and grovelling in the newspaper. It's not ok for one sex then it's not ok with another sex simply because it's a male instead of female.

DeltaWhite

Yes. Inappropriate, but mild compared to what I go through in work.

I work with 25 men, the only woman in the office and if you think that's bad OP, the things I see and hear every day would honestly make your toes curl. But I just have to suck it up and get on with it.

Ps... why couldn't she just have baked that cake at home? Did she really need to use an oven in her job? A school of all places ffs!!

Mrs OBumble

DeltaWhite wrote: »

A school of all places ffs!!

This.

Plus what the hell were they doing using work time and resources for hen preparation.

No wonder we've got 20% illiteracy.

davo10

Dear God is this PC gone mad? The cake was probably in the oven before you went in if they were taking it out while you were there. If I was a young fella, I'd be trying to find out what bar/nightclub they'd be in later. I hope some day you will grow a cake.

barrymanilow

davo10 wrote: »

Dear God is this PC gone mad? The cake was probably in the oven before you went in if they were taking it out while you were there. If I was a young fella, I'd be trying to find out what bar/nightclub they'd be in later. I hope some day you will grow a cake.

The cake was being decorated with white icing , smarties and crumbled flake bars for pubic hair on a table while I was eating and the women involved weren't my type anyway so i had no interest in going to the hen .

ScottStorm

You are still young if this is your first experience of women having an off colour giggle about penis, but if you are going to be a teacher I suggest you get used to it.

barrymanilow

ScottStorm wrote: »

You are still young if this is your first experience of women having an off colour giggle about penis, but if you are going to be a teacher I suggest you get used to it.

"You are still young if this is your first experience of men having an off colour giggle about vaginas, but if you are going to be a teacher I suggest you get used to it"

I dont think I'm getting my point across here .Its not about me . If I was put out or not by what happened isn't the issue .I'm not complaining about what happened and I said it twice in my post . I'm interested in how changing the genders around in that story puts a much different tone on what happened . There is a lot of talk in the media and online about rape culture and a new wave of feminism . I'm using that anecdote to explore the way in which we as a society expect different treatment and responses to stuff like a penis/vagina cake in the staffroom based on our Gender . One of the women above reported someone for showing a penis video on her phone . One of the guys questioned my manhood and said I should have gone to the hen . Is it more ok for women to make a cock cake in front of a male student teacher than for male teaching staff to make a swiss roll vagina in front of a young female student teacher and if so why ? Just an interesting thought experiment .

padohaodha

in the real world far far away from academia this stuff happens.stop over thinking it..;-)

barrymanilow wrote: »

"You are still young if this is your first experience of men having an off colour giggle about vaginas, but if you are going to be a teacher I suggest you get used to it"

I dont think I'm getting my point across here .Its not about me . If I was put out or not by what happened isn't the issue .I'm not complaining about what happened and I said it twice in my post . I'm interested in how changing the genders around in that story puts a much different tone on what happened . There is a lot of talk in the media and online about rape culture and a new wave of feminism . I'm using that anecdote to explore the way in which we as a society expect different treatment and responses to stuff like a penis/vagina cake in the staffroom based on our Gender . One of the women above reported someone for showing a penis video on her phone . One of the guys questioned my manhood and said I should have gone to the hen . Is it more ok for women to make a cock cake in front of a male student teacher than for male teaching staff to make a swiss roll vagina in front of a young female student teacher and if so why ? Just an interesting thought experiment .

YurOK2

Baking a penis shaped cake on school property just seems highly inappropriate to me.
I also think that teachers, even when in the privacy of the staff room, need to hold themselves to a certain level of decorum and penis jokes etc should not be acceptable in my opinion.
Be realistic here, if this was a story about male teachers making a vagina cake and crude jokes in the presence of a female teacher, this would be a very different thread.

Triceratops Ballet

barrymanilow wrote: »

One of the women above reported someone for showing a penis video on her phone . One of the guys questioned my manhood and said I should have gone to the hen . Is it more ok for women to make a cock cake in front of a male student teacher than for male teaching staff to make a swiss roll vagina in front of a young female student teacher and if so why ? Just an interesting thought experiment .

Just to point out I reported another WOMAN for showing me that video in the workplace, not because penises offend me, but because it's inappropriate for work. I would equally have reported a man showing me a vagina video, and had I been in that staff room I would have reported it too. Because there are imo NO grounds on which someone needs to use the oven in a school to bake a penis cake!

That kind of joke in the work place is completely inappropriate regardless of gender. If you're in the pub after work for drinks or whatever then have at it, but in a professional environment, penises and vagina's should be kept out of it.

VONSHIRACH

Where is that hen party going?

Dorethy

HI O.P.,
I get it. I'm anything but P.C., but really this is inappropriate for either gender. A lack of awareness maybe.

aunt aggie

I feel for you OP because teaching is one of the few female dominated professions, and situations in the staff room are more likely to make men feel uncomfortable rather than women. This is why a lot of staff rooms become almost voluntarily segregated with men and women choosing to sit separately at break and lunch.

Don't let it get to you. They had permission to use the facilities. None of the inappropriate humour was aimed at you. You just happened to be there. The atmosphere and etiquette in staff rooms varies so much that it's hard to know where you stand in a new school.

And weird things happen in school staff rooms. No one wants to say it but its VERY true. I recall a staff harlem shake video that had to be scraped because someone left an unopened bottle of cider on their desk. It was never drank just left there all year in case of emergencies!!

Neyite

I love a bawdy joke, or politically incorrect one, and swear like a sailor.

But I do think that a cake like that is inappropriate in the workplace - professionalism and all that.

But also because if the genders were reversed, there would be uproar, and a story like that might have even made it to the media -Males decorating a vagina cake in a school - the likes of the Daily Mail would have an absolute field day with insinuations about the men involved and whether or not its appropriate for them to work with female students - especially at primary age and especially a special needs school.

We cant demand equality on one hand then disregard it when it suits us.

The Bishop Basher

dottie_lottie wrote: »

Just to point out I reported another WOMAN for showing me that video in the workplace, not because penises offend me, but because it's inappropriate for work.

Really ? You put someone's future in jeopardy for that ?

You must be a barrel of laughs to work with :rolleyes:

This whole thread reminds me of this....

It's a cake in the shape of a penis. Get over it FFS.

Triceratops Ballet

Swanner wrote: »

Really ? You put someone's future in jeopardy for that ?

You must be a barrel of laughs to work with :rolleyes:


It's a cake in the shape of a penis. Get over it FFS.

No she put her future in jeopardy for the sake of showing a video which was inappropriate for the workplace, she was a manger walking round the office stopping at everyones desk showing it, this wasn't a friendly office where we were all bff's and it was a bit of a laugh. Everyone though it was inappropriate and weird.
She was unprofessional to the core and it was just one on a long list of unprofessional things she did. Like just read a situation and act appropriately.

It shouldn't have to be said, but using school equipment to bake a penis cake is an inappropriate use of school property. If a group of students had baked the same cake in home ec, they would have gotten in trouble for it

The Bishop Basher

dottie_lottie wrote: »

It shouldn't have to be said, but using school equipment to bake a penis cake is an inappropriate use of school property. If a group of students had baked the same cake in home ec, they would have gotten in trouble for it

Why though ?

A cake in the shape of a penis is just that. It's not like anyone's going to get pregnant from it.

Maybe this is just a hangover from old roman catholic Ireland but i just can't see how a penis, a vagina or an object that looks like either is worth getting so worked up about.

It was an innocent bit of banter. Sure it's not entirely appropriate but if you take offense, you can choose to walk on.

It was in the relative privacy of the staff room so it's not as if any students were morally corrupted by the sight of it.

It's a penis. All men have them. There's nothing dirty or wrong about it. Are we really still so hung up on the human anatomy that we take such offense to a penis shaped cake ?

eviltwin

Neyite wrote: »

I love a bawdy joke, or politically incorrect one, and swear like a sailor.

But I do think that a cake like that is inappropriate in the workplace - professionalism and all that.

But also because if the genders were reversed, there would be uproar, and a story like that might have even made it to the media -Males decorating a vagina cake in a school - the likes of the Daily Mail would have an absolute field day with insinuations about the men involved and whether or not its appropriate for them to work with female students - especially at primary age and especially a special needs school.

We cant demand equality on one hand then disregard it when it suits us.

Speak for yourself. If I walked into the work room to find a bunch of lads going on a stag messing about with something overtly sexual I'd laugh. Its a hen, its pretty much a given that a stag or hen will be hyper sexualised and its just a bit of fun for the occasion that I would have no issue with at all. Its meant to be fun, not intimidating.

Neyite

eviltwin wrote: »

Speak for yourself. If I walked into the work room to find a bunch of lads going on a stag messing about with something overtly sexual I'd laugh. Its a hen, its pretty much a given that a stag or hen will be hyper sexualised and its just a bit of fun for the occasion that I would have no issue with at all. Its meant to be fun, not intimidating.

Actually no, its not a hen, its a staff room in a workplace. They should have done their party preparations elsewhere. In lots of other workplaces, misusing company resources or doing personal tasks on work time are valid grounds for dismissal, whether that's baking cakes or using the printer to print out invites or wedding mass booklets. In this case, it seems like it was tolerated so that's grand, but the shape and decoration of the cake might have offended some staff.

I personally think similar - that its a cake. But others in work might not think like me. I have several colleagues that would be very offended - men and women - if a cake like that appeared in our canteen, for personal and religious reasons perhaps, I don't know. They are the ones who would likely kick up a stink with HR. And they would have every right to do so.

Genitals - whether in cartoon or cake form are rarely appropriate in a workplace - thats why the YLYL mega thread posters put a NSFW link on pictures that are a bit like that.

Lux23

You couldn't make rubbish like this up. Why the hell are a bunch of grown women making a cake in the shape of a penis at work anyway? Unacceptable behaviour, imagine if it was the other way round? There would be uproar.