Newbie type question

Tefral

In the planning stages of our wedding and I am looking for others advice to see different perspectives about what to do in our unique to us situation.

Basically my Fiancée and I don't want to do the whole Church Part of the wedding. We are not religious at all and would only go to mass for Funerals etc.

So we want to get married in a Registry Office. It only opens Mon-Fri and we want the reception on a Saturday so as to not put anyone out with taking hols etc. So Its looking like:

Friday - Reg. Office
Saturday - Reception

The problem I have is, normally the whole day before the reception of any wedding I was at was taken up by the church, photographs and then back to the hotel for grub and dancing. In the absence of the above, what would you do with your guests on the Saturday? Is it like any other party where you just show up at 4 or 5 and rock on?

On the Friday do you think taking the immediate family out (who will want to come to the civil part) for dinner and a couple of drinks is the best option?

Any input or ideas would be welcome.

andreac

Would you consider having your wedding on a saturday but going for a Humanist or Spiritualist service? They can do Saturdays so that is always an option for you.

Tefral

andreac wrote: »

Would you consider having your wedding on a saturday but going for a Humanist or Spiritualist service? They can do Saturdays so that is always an option for you.

Most certainly would be a consideration.

PhoenixParker

We did a Friday Reg Office/Saturday reception wedding.

We did photos on the Friday, followed by a fancy lunch for the twelve civil ceremony attendees.
Then we headed to the reception hotel and relaxed for the rest of the day. We actually had platters & drinks in the hotel bar that night with any guests who arrived in early.

The time we put on our Saturday invitations was 4pm and it was lovely. Lots of time to relax and get ready in the morning. I even went for a swim in the hotel pool. Guests could check in and get ready at the hotel. No early start and no super long day. I can't really speak for my own wedding, but I know the wedding I went to that started at 5pm felt far less of a marathon than other weddings I've been to. We did two hours of cocktails followed by dinner at 6pm and then danced the night away.

Some issues to bear in mind:

1) Hair and make up - on only one day or both days? For the bride and groom or for everyone?
2) Outfits - will you be wearing the same outfit both days? What about the bridal party?
3) Photographer - on one day or both days?
4) Do you have a nice clean line you can draw around the invitees for the civil ceremony?
5) Logistics - Your day of timeline for Friday & Saturday needs to be fairly spot on and depending on where your house is vs the registry office vs your reception hotel you'll want everything carefully lined up. I didn't want anyone stuck driving on the Friday so that necessitated careful planning.

You need to be happy enough with a basic ceremony and not having everybody watching you to go this route (both these counted as a bonus to me). Cost wise it's pretty neutral. The meal on the Friday was expensive, but we saved by only having the photographer for 3 hours instead of a full day, not having to pay a celebrant on the Saturday and not having to pay for room decor or music at the ceremony.

maryfred

I've been to a couple of Friday/Saturday weddings. Both times IIRC the invite said something like "Request the pleasure of etc etc, at 5pm. Dinner served at 6." Gave the guests and the bride and groom the chance to mingle beforehand. And after that it was just like any wedding. The b & g had the ceremony the day before and had a family meal and did all the official photos then. Think someone organised a few group ones the day after. Twas grand,nice and relaxed on the day. Just one point to consider,for a lot of people these days,myself included,work isn't 9-5, Monday-Friday. So a Saturday wedding might still entail people taking time off,maybe the OH's of guests that you're not aware of. My point is,don't get too caught up in that,plenty of weddings happen on a Friday. Go for what suits you both the best and what you're comfortable with. Congratulations and enjoy your planning.

Mrs OBumble

Another option is to do the legal bit on Friday (or Tuesday!) or whatever - regular clothes, no makeup, etc.

Then have a friend who's good at public speaking do some kind of personal ceremony (a poem you like, some favourite music, "I do"'s, jump the broom, exchange rings, whatever) at 2 or 3. Secular, legally meaningless, but personally can be very meaningful to you and guests. And it makes it different from just a regular party.

WannaBbride

Hi cronin_j,

we are the same with the non religious aspect. We're having our inter faith ceremony in our venue at 2pm on a saturday with all our guests, drinks & nibbles reception straight afterwards. We'll get our photos done then and mingle with our guests. Dinner will be at around 5.30/6 then. The hotel we are using has different areas/rooms for each part of the day so its not like you are stuck in the one room all day. You could get married else where too like you would with a church service and have your grand entrance to the reception venue after.

As others have mentioned you could go the humanist or spiritualist route - just note that humanist celebrants are hard to get, they are booked out well in advance.

I didnt want to do the whole 'get married in the registry office the day before' thing cos I just wanted it all done on the one day plus its just more expense and our budget is very tight.

Milly33

Congrats to ye!! Happy Planning also...

The beauty I think of getting married in todays world is really you have so many options to do whatever ye like...So just maybe sit down and talk through exactly what ye would like to do.

As mentioned if ye do want to keep it all on the one day ye could have a humanist ceremony on the Sat followed by either your typical wedding after that or do something else..

Or ye could as ye say go to the civil office and then celebrate on the Sat with people

Been to all sorts of weddings one was my brothers who just had the civil ceremony and then everyone went to a local restaurant after for a meal, then onto the pub afterwards where we all joined them.

Another one was one in an outdoor event an old abbey.. Ceremony done there spiritual and then back to the typical afters style. This one at the time they still had to call to the civil office before which they did about a week beforehand just themselves.

We are going for a civil service on the day, and just keeping it simple no readings or anything. We are planning more to involve the family with it.. We might not even light the candles or anything like that... And then after party in the same place.. Rented the venue..



It really is up to

banie01

Finally pulling the finger out? :P
We were/are in a similar situation, wanted a saturday wedding but no church service.
Went through all the permutations available including the registry office during the week and a ceremony on the day.
In the end after much seaching we found a celebrant who will perform the ceremony and solemnize on the day.
But given the paucity of humanist celebrants available even this is going to be a a little bit of a compromise in that while it will not be a "religious" ceremony, there will be a christian aspect to it.
Finding a celebrant can be a slog, we had our venue booked and were prepared to fall back on the registry office midweek with a ceremony at the venue on the day if we couldnt sort a solemnizer.
I'll fire you on any info I have that you might want buddy, just let me know.

Milly33

That is another option too as banie01 just said even through humanist and celebrants etc say it isn't religious a lot of the time is still kinda of comes across this way... Thinking even of one we went to recently and it was a humanist ceremony it still seemed very religious like and if trying to find one for yer date, and with the cost.

You can actually do that call into the registry office before hand and then on the Sat or whichever day ye would like it, if ye had a good friend who was well spoken or enjoyed talking you can always have them say a few words.. You don't have to have a celebrant or official person at all.