22 mth old DS has us at wits end

trg

Hi there, apologies in advance for the long post.

We've 2 boys, a 22 months old and a 9 month old so it's a busy house. The problem is our 22 month old has us at our wits end.

He seems very prone to viruses. Had gastrointestinal bug that hospitalised him for few nights, last week he had fibral convulsion which meant another night in hospital and since has been battling high temperatures. He now appears very run down....bleeding gums, nappy rash, pimples on chin & mouth.

Also numerous temper outbursts and screaming episodes per day. He has absolutely zero patience for his little brother who is the quietest little guy ever. It's upsetting to see it.

His speech is very slow as well, he really just roars the word No a lot but sometimes says yeah, to a large degree that's it.

We are worried about autism but we feel so stressed we really don't know where to start.

pwurple

Being run down often happens after gastro... They lose a lot of the good gut bacteria and get hit by everything going for a while. maybe ask gp or pharmacist for a probiotic?

The behaviour, hard to say, but he is hitting the "terrible twos", which can be very challenging! Also, if he's unwell he will be feeling miserable and acting that out.

Is he eating and sleeping well?
Are you eating and sleeping well?

cyning

Ah there's a lot going on for the little guy

Firstly if your worried about speech/autism traits etc first port of call for me would be phn. They can refer for speech and language if needed. But 22 months is very young yet: does he babble sounds? My phn is keeping an eye on my 15 month old because she doesn't and there was a hearing issue due to frequent ear infections until she got grommets.

On the infections: it seems to be one of those years for viral infections being everywhere. Once they get one thing they tend to get another: probiotics can help after gastro and if he needed an antibiotic.

On the temper: my now almost 3 year old was a terror at that age. She couldn't talk so got frustrated. And a younger sibling is a massive adjustment and he's sick too. It will improve. But do ring your phn that's what they are there for and will help.

trg

pwurple wrote: »

Being run down often happens after gastro... They lose a lot of the good gut bacteria and get hit by everything going for a while. maybe ask gp or pharmacist for a probiotic?

The behaviour, hard to say, but he is hitting the "terrible twos", which can be very challenging! Also, if he's unwell he will be feeling miserable and acting that out.

Is he eating and sleeping well?
Are you eating and sleeping well?

I see what you mean about the acting out while feeling bad. A lot of the time though there are no outward signs of illness but plenty of acting out and temper. He is hitting the terrible twos but he's been like this for some time.

In fairness he eats and sleeps very well. Keeping him fed is the challenge!

We are sleeping and eating properly.

looksee

Is there anything in his diet that might be causing problems? Cows milk is often a problem. Sometimes though there is no satisfactory solution and you just have to 'battle' through.

pwurple

trg wrote: »

I see what you mean about the acting out while feeling bad. A lot of the time though there are no outward signs of illness but plenty of acting out and temper. He is hitting the terrible twos but he's been like this for some time.

In fairness he eats and sleeps very well. Keeping him fed is the challenge!

We are sleeping and eating properly.

Oh I know, the terrible two's starts at about 14 months from what I can see, and goes til they are 3 1/2!

It sounds like frustration of being that age (unable to communicate and wanting to be independant) on top of being unwell though, but cyning is right, get him assessed for hearing problems too.

trg

cyning wrote: »

Ah there's a lot going on for the little guy

Firstly if your worried about speech/autism traits etc first port of call for me would be phn. They can refer for speech and language if needed. But 22 months is very young yet: does he babble sounds? My phn is keeping an eye on my 15 month old because she doesn't and there was a hearing issue due to frequent ear infections until she got grommets.

On the infections: it seems to be one of those years for viral infections being everywhere. Once they get one thing they tend to get another: probiotics can help after gastro and if he needed an antibiotic.

On the temper: my now almost 3 year old was a terror at that age. She couldn't talk so got frustrated. And a younger sibling is a massive adjustment and he's sick too. It will improve. But do ring your phn that's what they are there for and will help.

Thanks for the replies folks.

He babbles away a bit alright but unfortunately its mostly screaming NO at the top of his voice and giving out to his little brother.

I hate writing this as he is coming across as an absolute tyrant but the craic is mighty when he's in good form but when he's not its having an affect on us all. It doesnt affect little brother yet but I imagine the constant giving out to him will upset him greatly shortly.

I feel that we are poor to discipline also though, we are maybe in the frame of mind that because he cant talk he wont understand but he definitely understands plenty!

trg

looksee wrote: »

Is there anything in his diet that might be causing problems? Cows milk is often a problem. Sometimes though there is no satisfactory solution and you just have to 'battle' through.

Could be, we are gonna check him for coeliac shortly. He eats plenty of bread and loves cows milk

John Mason

Take him to the doctor and ask them to check his iron levels.

Low iron can make little ones prone to illnesses which take longer to clear up. it can also make them quite irritable.

LegacyUser

Definitely check up with PHN/GP. Also as someone said poor form can be due to him being sick, he sounds like he's had a tough time.
I don't think you should be afraid to discipline (within reason, obviously). He is fully capable of learning right from wrong at this stage (and again, assuming there are no other underlying issues, so talk to GP etc). I have no hesitation telling my 1 year old very firmly what's acceptable and what's not and demonstrating it (removing her from items she shouldn't be near - like the fireplace- etc). Consistency in your response to his behaviour is key, otherwise you're going nowhere. Work on your "cross face".
For the record my 1 year old is very good at "giving out" too and she has no words! She's got the face, the tone, everything. I don't know where she gets it from....

trg

Quick word of thanks to people for the help here on this one. We were so worried but, as most of you predicted, things improved and very quickly. I am grateful for the words of experience. We cut out the cows milk & replaced with goats milk which helped a lot we feel. He also got going on the speech which just took patience. Him and his baby brother are now completely inseparable!

cyning

That's great to hear. It can be so frustrating when you are in the midst of it glad you are out the other side now.