Cancel Holiday?

Emz93

Hi, I recently lost a very close friend of mine very suddenly. I'm 21 and was planning on going away with a group of people who did not know this person and are completely detached from the situation. I'm between two minds about going as it is generally going to be a bit of a party holiday, we will be going out every night and that kind of thing. I'm not sure if I'm able for it as the last few times I've drank I have broke down crying and generally not enjoyed the night at all. I also don't think the group that I am going with would be the type to comfort me if this happened, and tbh I wouldn't want them too as I don't think it's fair on them since they are not grieving also. So basically I am asking for advice on whether I should go or not? I don't even know how I'm feeling sometimes