I have no passions or dreams?

LegacyUser

I feel like I have no goal or passion in life. I'm interested in lots of things, but don't really actually care. It make it very difficult to succeed at anything because I just end up giving up or feeling like I'm only doing things to please others. I enjoy my career and have spent the last year upskilling in a specific field. It was a tough year but I got through it and can't find a job...so I've now started applying for jobs in other fields because I just don't care any more, I even feel like changing careers entirely sometimes. It's the same with my personal life. half-read books, half-finished painting, even documentaries that I got bored of half way through, even though the topic is interesting. I'm a really lay person, but I feel like if I actually gave a crap or had an ambition then things would be so much easier. I often defect to what my parents want me to do when I have to make a decision because I'm never that impassioned by either option. Even as a child I didn't have one hobby I liked most or any idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. All my friends seem to have direction in life and I don't. Does anyone else feel the same?

Gongoozler

I don't have anything helpful to say, but I just wanted to say that I feel the same. no direction, no real interest in anything, can't stay interested in anything long enough.

I have several books that I haven't finished. I have two days off work and no idea for things I actually want to do.

So yeah, just wanted to say, I kinda feel the same.

Ave Sodalis

How old are you OP, and what have you tried outside the norm in terms of hobbies? Bare in mind that everyone is different and one hobby mightn't suit everyone. Common things are like reading and drawing, but that doesn't mean they're for everyone. Maybe it's something outrageous that you find yourself having a flare for. I have a friend who skydives, I have another friend who has spent most of her life living in various countries, working with monkeys. Maybe it's something simple like sitting on a beach, just listening to the wind. Or maybe, just maybe, you're simply not a passionate person and that's okay too. You also have to look at whether it's the things you are doing or the people you are doing them with.

Rubberchikken

not everyone has dreams or passions. i would find it perfectly normal to be like that, but i would think a chat with a gp might help too.

you've one life, and at the end of the day you have to live it the best way for you. maybe now's the time to start thinking about what you actually want to do, not what your parents want you to do.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys it's nice to know that at least I'm not the only one. I have tried a couple of less usual hobbies but they tend to be very expensive. I used to love horse riding as a child but gave up because I got to the stage where it seemed a bit pointless as I wasn't interested in owning a horse or competing (I'm quite possibly the least competitive person ever). I would like to take it up again but I don't have the money.

Rubberchikken wrote: »

you've one life, and at the end of the day you have to live it the best way for you. maybe now's the time to start thinking about what you actually want to do, not what your parents want you to do.

But this is the root of the problem. What do I want to do? How do I figure that out? I would definitely continue in my field if I could get a job... but I'm also not sure if that's the right thing to do as I would like to travel more before I have to settle down and as I'm a 25 year old woman who would like to have kids that isn't actually that long. Which do I prioritise, now or the future? And do I actually want to travel or is it just escapism? I'm not actually asking you guys these questions, I know you can't tell me...but can you tell me how I figure out the answers for myself?

Ave Sodalis

OP, I horse ride. I have done for a very long time and that is my passion. I even have an equine science degree. I don't own a horse, never have. I'm also from a poor background so never had and still don't have money. I bought lessons whenever I could for a year and then went to a livery yard where I was given horses to ride in exchange for helping out for the day. I'm now making a career out of it. The largest expenses are helmet (€30), jodhpurs (€10 on some websites), and boots which will be most expensive but these are all initial buys and bar the odd replacement, that's really all you need to spend. €100 and you're set to go. The jodhpurs aren't entirely necessary either, I rode in tracksuit bottoms for years. Alternatively, most riding schools provide helmets for lessons which are about €20.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Minderbinder

Look, this problem is not about finding a nice little hobby or any of that nonsense. This is about your state of mind. You seem like a coaster and there a lots of them around. People waiting for things to happen to them rather than making things happen.

You'll be waiting a long, long time for something to happen, trust me. People thinking too much about things. People afraid to do anything because they have a sense of self-importance and think doing nothing is better than making a mistake. It's not.

My advice is slowly change your habits. Don't just sit around the house on your day off. Go to places of interest. Look for opportunities. Be curious. Ask questions about everything (if you meet anyone ask them about their job or their life - maybe you think this is useless information but sometimes you find something of interest and learn something you can use later, you can easily make contacts this way and it's a good way to exercise your mind). Engage your brain. After a while your habits will change and your mind will be quicker and you will feel genuinely curious about lots of things.

Again, your current disposition is not related to your inability to find a job or a hobby you like. It's deeper than that. Change your habits and your state of mind first and then focus on what direction to take.

Wompa1

I suffer from anxiety. I have not been diagnosed and I don't seek treatment. I constantly have a tightness in my chest. I've got really good jobs. 3 in fact, making great money. My personal life is amazing right now, everything is going right for me. BUT I'm still anxious. I constantly fret and feel dissatisfied.

A friend of mine, shared this video with me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn87-mcnoVc

It resonates with me. Right now I'm changing my focus, I'm aiming for a simple life in which I can explore things that make me happy. Not traveling, I've travelled and whilst it is good and many on here will tell you it broadens your mind (which it does)...it's a fleeting joy. I've completely lost interest in material things. All I want is enough security in my life to do what brings me joy. And that is just walking or cycling around aimlessly. Being at peace.

My advise is to think about what brings you joy and set that as your goal. Maybe you need to work to get the security to do that. But even if you can realize that's what you want and set that as a goal. You'll feel much better having something to work towards.

bolopapa

It seems like you tend to do to much at ones. Try picking a task and finish it before moving on to another one. Cos your condition looks more like laziness than lack of goal.
Lack of goal won't make you pick up any book to read in the first place.

Vikinki

Hi Perlious, you are not the only one. I find it very hard to be motivated socially or with work. I think the only thing I actively work at is with girlfriends. And as I'm finding out, without one or both of the others, they've all failed, as I'm unhappy.
Have you considered you might be suffering from depression or similar? I think I might have been or still am suffering, but am afraid to do anything about it. I don't mean therapy in my case, just afraid to put myself out there. But if that's not your case, people can become passionate about anything g, at any stage. It can happen anytime!