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Helping hubby?

  • 25-06-2015 5:26pm
    #1
    dueaug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭


    I posted last night on AH with a few drinks on me and it was suggested I post here. My hubby lost his best mate, (funeral was yesterday), to cancer. He was only diagnosed on 28th May and died on 18th June. Hubby hasn't had enough time to get his head around this. How the feck can I help my hubby, he hasn't had much loss in his life (thankfully), and is struggling with this loss. Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    The Princess Bride
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,649 ✭✭✭✭The Princess Bride


    Hello, so sorry to hear about your loss.
    It must be particularly difficult because of the short time between diagnosis and his friend passing away.

    Best advice I can give you is to support your husband, but give him space to grieve.
    Have a look at the Stages of Grieving - http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
    If you're familiar with these, you'll recognise each stage as it happens, and there is no given order or pattern- but in time, he'll go through these stages.Might take months, might be less might be years.

    Time is so important here- there is no "Normal" way to mourn his friend.
    Just be there, support and give him space.

    Take care, both of you.


  • #3
    dueaug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭dueaug


    Thanks The Princess Bride, have had a look at that site and its very helpful.


  • #4
    NIMAN
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,694 ✭✭✭✭NIMAN


    HE will struggle in the coming weeks and months, so if you are a shoulder to cry on for him, that might be all he needs. Men often find it hard to open up, cry and talk about their feelings. Tell me its ok for him to do all these things, as he might have no-one else he can cry with etc.

    Time is a healer, and he will learn to live with this loss over time. I am sure he has countless fond memories of his friend and these will help him through the hard times and dark days.

    Wishing you both all the best.


  • #5
    mud
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭mud


    I suggest making his life as easy as possible for him for the next few weeks. Nice food and a nice atmosphere. (in no way saying that your home isn't nice already!)

    Have a little trip together, go for a nice long walk and give him a chance to talk and grieve.

    It is terrifying when stuff like this happens and can be really difficult to get the head around. Anger, surliness and sadness can be expected.

    All the best to you and your husband.


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