Free for 6 months, why am I going back ?

Ayrtonf7

So!

I guess I should give yous a little background information first. So I'm 21 years old and had been smoking for around 3 years before I decided to quit in January 2015 (new years resolution). I was introduced to them by some friends who were adding herbs to their rollies one day and they offered me some. I didn't think it was a big deal until one day I stopped smoking the herbs and realised I was craving tobacco. At first I took a "you-only-live-once" approach and loved every minute of it. After a year or two though I started to see the negative health effects and realised quickly that I had a problem which could seriously reduce the quality of my life if I didnt stop.

After a few failed attempts I quit for good January gone. After reading Alan Carrs book it completely changed my way of thinking and I found it relatively easy to quit with only some minor cravings at the start (I know, I wasnt smoking as long as others). I guess the one thing that I found hard to break was smoking during work with co-workers.

June bank holiday was the first time I touched tobacco in 5 months. I was at a festival on the first night with a good friend who I hadn't seen in a while and he offered me one. I turned it down straight away but they were on my mind for the next 30 minutes before I ran over and asked him for one. Needless to say I was fairly intoxicated. The next morning woke up feeling so dissapointed with myself but my friends convinced me it wasn't that big of a deal and I ended up smoking then for the remainder of the weekend. I know ... stupid :rolleyes:

I hadn't touched them since until Saturday night, when once again I was out and asked for one off another friend.

I guess the reason why I am posting is to ask for some help or advice. I feel like I'm starting back on the road to smoking on a day-to-day basis. I am worried that every time I drink I'm going to pick one up and smoke it until eventually they start creeping into my hangover days and then eventually ...

Anyways Im just looking for some advice, maybe from somebody who has been in a similar situation and managed to pick themselves up before they fell off the wagon.

I genuinely thought I was finished with them.

uch

Get an E-Cig, helps take the edge off if you get a craving

Ayrtonf7

uch wrote: »

Get an E-Cig, helps take the edge off if you get a craving

Honestly I was hoping to stay away from e-cigs altogether. Wouldn't be their biggest fan.

I guess i just need to stay sober till I'm comfortable again with the smokes!

The Diddakoi

I gave up many years ago, and was the same as you. After 6 months of being off them completely I began having the odd cigarette with friends, and within about 6 weeks of this was back to smoking full time.
Was disgusted with myself, but it took another year before I decided to give up again. Found it much harder the second time, but was determined to do it. First 6 weeks is the hardest, gets easier when you have been off them 6 months (as you have found), but it was a full year off them before I knew I would never ever go back to smoking.
I still have dreams where I am smoking....and I am absolutely horrified with myself. So relieved when I wake up

It's all willpower. Find something to distract yourself, give yourself a reward for not giving in, anything at all to get over the desperate feeling of wanting a cigarette.

Good luck

Ayrtonf7

alf66 wrote: »

I gave up many years ago, and was the same as you. After 6 months of being off them completely I began having the odd cigarette with friends, and within about 6 weeks of this was back to smoking full time.
Was disgusted with myself, but it took another year before I decided to give up again. Found it much harder the second time, but was determined to do it. First 6 weeks is the hardest, gets easier when you have been off them 6 months (as you have found), but it was a full year off them before I knew I would never ever go back to smoking.
I still have dreams where I am smoking....and I am absolutely horrified with myself. So relieved when I wake up

It's all willpower. Find something to distract yourself, give yourself a reward for not giving in, anything at all to get over the desperate feeling of wanting a cigarette.

Good luck

Do you reach a point where you know you'll never smoke again ? Honestly I thought I had hit it within the first month when i realised how much better it was without them

I had a few dreams when I first quit. Honestly I woke up in shock disgusted with myself before I realised it was a dream. Crazy what it can do to you.

I've smoked once since the initial post. I don't really have any cravings after it but I know I will develop them if I keep it going. Honestly it's the guilt that's getting to me most.

The Diddakoi

Just keep going, honestly after 6 months you are over the worst.

By the time I had been off them a year, I knew I would never go back to smoking. I had friends who still smoked, but lucky enough they didn't try to pressurize me into going back to smoking. I am quite stubborn, so once I have announced publicly that I am going to do something I usually stick to it.

Also after the year my health would have been greatly improved. Used to be coughing most mornings until after I had a cigarette. Always got chest infections with a cold, and got very wheezy. Actually took up running a few years ago, and there is no way I could have done that if I still smoked.
Also absolutely hate the smell of cigarettes. I have boxes of books which would have been in my first flat many years ago, and they still smell of cigarettes !!

What is it that makes you feel guilty ?

Ayrtonf7

alf66 wrote: »

Just keep going, honestly after 6 months you are over the worst.

By the time I had been off them a year, I knew I would never go back to smoking. I had friends who still smoked, but lucky enough they didn't try to pressurize me into going back to smoking. I am quite stubborn, so once I have announced publicly that I am going to do something I usually stick to it.

Also after the year my health would have been greatly improved. Used to be coughing most mornings until after I had a cigarette. Always got chest infections with a cold, and got very wheezy. Actually took up running a few years ago, and there is no way I could have done that if I still smoked.
Also absolutely hate the smell of cigarettes. I have boxes of books which would have been in my first flat many years ago, and they still smell of cigarettes !!

What is it that makes you feel guilty ?

Yeh I noticed a lot of the cravings are gone for me now. I rarely think about having one really. Its got a lot more to do with a different side of smoking, which generally involves the use of tobacco to fill out your smokes (not sure if its against forum charter to mention it directly ?). I've cut this down quite a lot as well and when I do do it I generally use a pipe so I can avoid tobacco. Its just recently I've been caught without it on nights out and rather than sit out of the circle I have a pull or two.

My friends have been supportive bar one instance which is actually when I took my first pull since January, but I would'nt be stupid enough to blame him. It was my fault, I was under the influence, wasnt thinking straight and also asked him in the end. But besides that there all really supportive. I've actually motivated two of my other friends to kick it as well.

I suppose what I feel guilty about is just breaking my streak. Id be so dissapointed in myself if I went back on them and would be blaming myself for it (which would be accurate). I dont even want to know what my parents would think. Dont get me wrong there so easy going that they probably wouldnt say much if I came home one evening with a box of smokes, but I know deep down that they'd be dissapointed or upset I was back on them and Id feel like I've let them down.

bikeresearcher

All you can do in reality is continue. Relapsing is very common. Addiction is "cunning baffling and powerful" as they say. It waits until you're vulnerable and then strikes. You'll learn as you go to be stronger and recognize the warning signs. I wish you the very best. Great to see people as young as yourself breaking free!!

Ayrtonf7

Well after a long struggle of trying to hold onto the wagon I've finally fallen off after 9 months. Bought my first box of Golden Virginia today. I already want to give them up again but the fact that I'm not feeling any of the negative effects, yet, its hard to find any motivation.