need advice re wedding preent

LegacyUser

I have been invited to a weding in August. I do not want to go due to my other thread. it is not the same people but i am not in the mood

What do you give as a wedding present.? I know the couple few years. not very well but they are ok. And what excuse do i give for not going? I do not want to offend them

CaraMay

I would send them a card saying thanks for the invite but you cant attend and that you hope they have a fab day. I would probably stick €50 in as a gift.

athtrasna

CaraMay wrote: »

I would send them a card saying thanks for the invite but you cant attend and that you hope they have a fab day. I would probably stick €50 in as a gift.

This! Don't go digging holes for yourself by making excuses, just apologise that you can't attend.

blatantrereg

Money is the norm these days.
Not sure it's the norm to give presents if you aren't going - which means you can give whatever you want really since there's not an expectation on you.

LegacyUser

blatantrereg wrote: »

Money is the norm these days.
Not sure it's the norm to give presents if you aren't going - which means you can give whatever you want really since there's not an expectation on you.

is it not rude to say can't go without an excuse.? there is an rsvp with a mobile. is that a text or phone call to say cannot go.?

myshirt

I'd absolutely give sfa. The tradition relates to a time when young couples were just starting out, never lived together, early stages of careers etc. Yes it lingers, but you shouldn't feel the pressure. 100% I would give sfa, or a card at most to wish the couple well, but definitely do not put your hands in your pocket.

My two cents.

hoodwinked

i know you say your other thread is why you don't want to go, but i have to say why not go op?

who knows you might meet someone there (maybe not, but if you don't go you DEFINITELY won't) and you could be saying in a few weeks what a lucky thing it was she chose your friend or you wouldn't have been free to meet someone new.


as for a present, if you don't know them well enough to buy them something, cash will always be a welcome gift, i would say €25 if you have it, less if you don't, more if you can.

if you are uncomfortable with cash anything with a gift receipt so they can change it if they have it/don't want it.

of course if you don't go nothing is acceptable too but if you have already RSVP'd yes let them know you can't make it as soon as possible.

i would advise you don't let the other two influence your descion.

LegacyUser

hoodwinked wrote: »

i know you say your other thread is why you don't want to go, but i have to say why not go op?

who knows you might meet someone there (maybe not, but if you don't go you DEFINITELY won't) and you could be saying in a few weeks what a lucky thing it was she chose your friend or you wouldn't have been free to meet someone new.


as for a present, if you don't know them well enough to buy them something, cash will always be a welcome gift, i would say €25 if you have it, less if you don't, more if you can.

if you are uncomfortable with cash anything with a gift receipt so they can change it if they have it/don't want it.

of course if you don't go nothing is acceptable too but if you have already RSVP'd yes let them know you can't make it as soon as possible.

i would advise you don't let the other two influence your descion.

thanks for such a considerate response. I am half pissed now. i may not be around when the wedding happens. but i would like to give them something cos they are decent folk. i am in bits over the girl and cannot go

i am going to the pub to get even more pissed not enough drink in house

yeah i might meet somewone there. someone who wants to be my 'friend'-like present girl- and sleep with with someone else.Ha! they can f*** from me with their friendship and if they want friends they can join the girl guides

sorry i do appreciate your reply. i willgive this couple some money may 50 euro. they are an ok couple and decent and i wish them well would go if i could. i just did not know much about what one gives for a wedding present or the etiquette around this

i am in ****ing bits man. sorry for language mods ****ing bits

Rubberchikken

If you don't want to or can't then send nothing. It sounds like you just know them, that they're not very close friends.
Just send a reply saying thanks but no thanks. It won't be the only refusal and people shouldn't mind.
After that don't let it bother you.

bee06

OP I got married last year and we got maybe 20 or 25 declines. Most didn't give us a reason and only 2 gave gifts (aka cash) which we didn't in anyway expect. I think most couples (if they are in anyway decent people) understand that people can have lives and stuff going on that is more important than a wedding.

blatantrereg

just say sorry you can't make it.
Sounds like your reason is too personal for it to be appropriate to relate to them. No need for full disclosure, just sorry you can't make it.

Redser87

We have received very generous gifts from a couple of people who declined for various reasons and while the gifts were hugely appreciated, they were not expected at all. From other people who declined we got a lovely card wishing us the best, no gift and as I said, no gift expected so we appreciate the time they put into writing the card. The only thing I would say is send your decline quickly. It will help you get a bit of closure anyway but also, the bride and groom will appreciate the fact that they have one less person to chase up for a response.