Re evaluating life path

LegacyUser

I graduated college last year after a long struggle through it which involved repeating exams and carrying subjects for an extra year etc. It was tough but I was so determined to get through it because it was something I loved and really wanted to achieve. After graduation due to various circumstances I wasn't able to look for work in the area of my studies, I had to save money to be able to move out because there was no jobs local to me so I've been working a retail job in the interm. Now I'm in a position to find work in what I studied but the thought of it fills me with dread. It hit me that it's not because I have to move away or go through the whole job seeking process, but because I really don't want to work in it anymore. I don't know what changed but even thinking about working in it fills me with so much anxiety and dread that I keep putting it off and making excuses and it's making thinks fairly fractious at home.

So in realising this isn't what I want to do anymore, I now have to re evaluate what I do want to do. I want to do something that's relevant to my area of studies but in the exact thing that I studied (not going into specifics as I'm a fairly regular poster and don't want to be recognised!) I have a fair idea what I want to do and it will involve retraining. Not necessarily in college but even doing private courses, which obviously cost more money.

My main problem is how to tell my parents. They paid for me to go through college and supported me so much when things went bad. They were so proud of me on my graduation and now I have to turn around and say I don't want to do it anymore. I don't even know where to start. It's not that I'm not grateful, I can never thank them enough for all they've done, and I'm delighted to have the degree under my belt but I just don't know how to even bring it up that it's really not what I want anymore. Anyone have any advice on how to get through this? It's eating away at me inside and in all honesty making me a bit of a b*tch to live with at the moment as I'm so down over it

gline

How did it go from:

Lostandconfused54321 wrote: »

I was so determined to get through it because it was something I loved and really wanted to achieve

to:

Lostandconfused54321 wrote: »

Now I'm in a position to find work in what I studied but the thought of it fills me with dread.

What happened in the mean time?? You loved studying it in college, but you now dont want to work in the same area?? Is it because you are worried you are not able to work in the area due to the repeating exams etc?
It seems strange you loved it in college but now dont want to work in it.

If it is really affecting you that much though, you should take the path you want. I'm sure your parents will understand, its not like the degree was a waste of time. A degree is needed for a lot of jobs these days, no matter what area the degree is in. Also you can use the degree to convert to other areas of study.

As you are an adult now, you should be able to bring this up with your parents, adult to adult. Explain how much it is affecting you at the moment and that you have an idea what you want to train in and how much you appriciate their help during college. Whats the worst they can say/do?

Fluorescence

I think you should find work in your field of study. If I had to guess, being me in that situation, I know I'd be very very anxious about returning to it after a gap. Especially if I'd had some difficulty repeating classes and exams for the course. But you know that you love and enjoy the subject when you're actually engaged in the subject. That, to me, is very telling. I'd be prepared to bet money that once you find work you'll remember how much you love this field and really enjoy your new job.

And, if it turns out, your heart really did have a complete 180* and you feel you can't hack it anymore: you can always quit after a few months.

What have you got to lose?

Lucuma

how well off are your parents? that would definitely have a bearing

strandroad

Be pragmatic and find a job in the original field so that you can retrain privately and move to what you really want.
It will be a relief to your parents. It will also build a much better resume which shows that you're capable of adjusting your choices but you take responsibility for your path.

CaraMay

You should definitely be funding your own retraining. Can you not do a postgrad in something else? It's hard to comment when not knowing the details