stuning lack of logic

Had a conversation with someone who is concerned that their college going child might have taken drugs at some party they were at, anyway I pointed out that they had taken various substances when they themselves were a students and the response was yeah well drugs were different in my day :pac:

I am not condoning drug taking in any way but I am wondering what's the best policy for parents lie and say no me never or total honesty about what you were like when you were young.

lizzyman

mariaalice wrote: »

Had a conversation with someone who is concerned that their college going child might have taken drugs at some party they were at, anyway I pointed out that they had taken various substances when they themselves were a students and the response was yeah well drugs were different in my day :pac:

I am not condoning drug taking in any way but I am wondering what's the best policy for parents lie and say no me never or total honesty about what you were like when you were young.

"No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people."

- H.L Mencken.

glued

lizzyman wrote: »

"No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people."

- H.L Mencken.

Quotes suck

- Me.

pmasterson95

Back in my day. When I was young there was no drugs. Only the bad men took drugs and died. And dont look at girls. That'll get you pregnant and dead.

EoghanIRL

glued wrote: »

Quotes suck

- Me.

"quotes on the internet are not always accurate"- Abraham Lincoln

The Diabolical Monocle

Im gonna go with 'a mix of selective truth and lying' in response to your question OP.

I'd want any kids of mine to be programmed with several layers of indoctrination/propaganda. A preemptive move.

I'd program them enough to last until they could research and make up their own minds free from the indoctrination/propaganda of the local scumbag - someone who's going to use their own brand of propaganda and manipulation.

To this effect I'd be using warnings of false prophets along with the actual factual truths of the possible ill effects of taking substances handed out by some scrote in a pub jax.

There'd be threats too and convenient mentions of tragedies.

conorh91

mariaalice wrote: »

Had a conversation with someone who is concerned that their college going child might have taken drugs at some party they were at, anyway I pointed out that they had taken various substances when they themselves were a students and the response was yeah well drugs were different in my day :pac:

Maybe they mean there are more harmful illicit drugs available today than the ones that featured at house-parties in the 1980s (presuming your friends didn't attend heroin parties or live in a ghetto, I assume they mostly smoked weed).

Today, with some well-publicised deaths or emergencies related to higher take-up of ecstasy, ketamine and 'legal highs', it's hard to disagree that drugs culture probably has indeed changed.

The Backwards Man

'Just do as I say, don't do as I do' - Phil Collins.

My oul lad used to regale with all the harum scarum antics he got up to, followed with a threat to mallymuter us if we ever did the same :P

Seriously though, you're in a better position to give advice if you know what it is you're giving advice about (stunning logic there), but at the end of the day it's only advice. Most things people have to figure and learn from themselves.

conorh91

conorh91 wrote: »

Maybe they mean there are more harmful illicit drugs available today than the ones that featured at house-parties in the 1980s (presuming your friends didn't attend heroin parties or live in a ghetto, I assume they mostly smoked weed).

Today, with some well-publicised deaths or emergencies related to higher take-up of ecstasy, ketamine and 'legal highs', it's hard to disagree that drugs culture probably has indeed changed.

This is slightly tongue in cheek so you would go for it was different in my day it was all nice happy trippy people all grand, but today its sinister and dangerous as a warning to them.

cloud493

Meh. I smoke, but if I thought for one second my little un was smoking, I'd be extremely cross with her.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

It depends what kind of drug op. Drink and weed are low risk drugs. Cocaine and ecstasy are a moderate risk. Heroin and meth are high risk.

Once a kid (18/19) has accurate information it's up to them then on how they choose use it that knowledge.

Rough Sleeper

conorh91 wrote: »

Maybe they mean there are more harmful illicit drugs available today than the ones that featured at house-parties in the 1980s (presuming your friends didn't attend heroin parties or live in a ghetto, I assume they mostly smoked weed).

Today, with some well-publicised deaths or emergencies related to higher take-up of ecstasy, ketamine and 'legal highs', it's hard to disagree that drugs culture probably has indeed changed.

Legal highs of all kinds are niche in Ireland at the moment, and ketamine's gone out of favour for the time being. For the most part it's pills, coke, weed and booze, like it was in the late 80s.

I'd also be be somewhat sceptical about the notion that the current crop of youth are taking more yokes than the rave generation.

One eyed Jack

mariaalice wrote: »

Had a conversation with someone who is concerned that their college going child might have taken drugs at some party they were at, anyway I pointed out that they had taken various substances when they themselves were a students and the response was yeah well drugs were different in my day :pac:

I am not condoning drug taking in any way but I am wondering what's the best policy for parents lie and say no me never or total honesty about what you were like when you were young.

Ohh somewhere in between I think. I wouldn't want my child getting up to half the shìt I did when I was younger, but thankfully he's not the same person as I was at all, so there's that!

I know what you mean though OP, I was in the club a while back with a friend and she made a comment about the amount of young girls tottering around on heels. I gave her a look and reminded her that she was exactly the same as they were when she was their age - "yeah, but that was different"... :pac:

conorh91

mariaalice wrote: »

This is slightly tongue in cheek so you would go for it was different in my day it was all nice happy trippy people all grand, but today its sinister and dangerous as a warning to them.

No, in this case I don't think there's much point in the parents giving their experiences at all, since it probably isn't relevant to a young person going out tonight and considering consuming the fairly broad menu of drugs available to him or her.

Also, the parents obviously haven't had any bad experiences with drugs, so the child's response is going to be exactly what you say: "Mom, Dad, this doesn't make any sense; you're being hypocrites".

I know I've taken my parents advice on board in the past, when they gave us horror stories about people they knew, who'd ruined their lives with alcohol. But if they started recounting 'epic drunken nights out', well they'd have a hard time dissuading me.

Bottom line, I'd say the parents should try to speak to their kids like adults, and give sound reasons why you shouldn't put an unmarked chemical down your throat which was produced in a shed and sold by unregulated criminals.

Then again, it's not something that will be taught in one session. You shape a child's attitude and respect, and common sense, over many years, not during one stern talk.

Buzz Meeks

"If you got bad news
You want to kick them blues, cocaine"

J.J Cale

conorh91

conorh91 wrote: »

No, in this case I don't think there's much point in the parents giving their experiences at all, since it probably isn't relevant to a young person going out tonight and considering consuming the fairly broad menu of drugs available to him or her.

Also, the parents obviously haven't had any bad experiences with drugs, so the child's response is going to be exactly what you say: "Mom, Dad, this doesn't make any sense; you're being hypocrites".

I know I've taken my parents advice on board in the past, when they gave us horror stories about people they knew, who'd ruined their lives with alcohol. But if they started recounting 'epic drunken nights out', well they'd have a hard time dissuading me.

Bottom line, I'd say the parents should try to speak to their kids like adults, and give sound reasons why you shouldn't put an unmarked chemical down your throat which was produced in a shed and sold by unregulated criminals.

Then again, it's not something that will be taught in one session. You shape a child's attitude and respect, and common sense, over many years, not during one stern talk.

I love you touching faith in how what parents do will over ride whats happening at a drunken student party, are you the parent of teenagers yet.

conorh91

mariaalice wrote: »

I love you touching faith in how what parents do will over ride whats happening at a drunken student party, are you the parent of teenagers yet.

No, but I've a good relationship with my parents and have been at plenty of student house parties, and have taken my parents advice or example on plenty of things.

I've seen lots of bad parenting through former school friends who are potheads, on the dole, and living with their parents in their mid 20s.

These days parents know that finger wagging about drugs on Friday night doesn't stop kids using drugs or making awful choices.

Showing your children sound principles and personal standards over a long period of time is how you do that.

LadyFenghuang

mariaalice wrote: »

Had a conversation with someone who is concerned that their college going child might have taken drugs at some party they were at, anyway I pointed out that they had taken various substances when they themselves were a students and the response was yeah well drugs were different in my day :pac:

I am not condoning drug taking in any way but I am wondering what's the best policy for parents lie and say no me never or total honesty about what you were like when you were young.

They care more about their kids than they do about themselves. Very illogical ....but very natural.

anncoates

Never really get the 'hypocrisy' charge when it comes to kids.

I did stuff when I was younger and my parents tried to objectively guide me or at least provide structure from which I could rebel and experiment within.

Now the roles are reversed.

Simple enough.

Hellrazer

I find it quite hard to preach to my 17 year old about even drinking,never mind the rest of what I got up to when I was her age. But as a parent we have to preach the errors of our ways..We do care more about our kids than ourselves and as ladyfenghuang says-that's only natural.

Its hard to say "Youre not allowed to drink until youre 18" when I was hammered(and more) most weekends from when I was 16.
Looking back I wonder was it actually safer in our day and to be honest I think it was.Even down to just the whole--you get drunk have a laugh about it and that was it.Nowadays everyone has a camera on them. I wouldn't have wanted drunken pictures of me on the web when I was 16 or 17.Now its more of a worry that if you do something stupid while drunk its up there for all to see--that could potentially affect a future career since a lot of employers now look at peoples facebook pages to see what they are up to.

anncoates

It's not preaching as such.

It's just providing a stable base with which to balance natural permissiveness and experimentation.

Definitely dread the social media thing though. Agreed