Wedding photos

tamcp

Hi, this probably sounds ridiculous but I recently received my wedding photos and to me they are lovely. I was dreading them to be honest, so I was very relieved that they looked good. However. I may be coming across as vain (I'm really not) but not one person I've showed these photos to has mentioned how I looked, nor the dress, etc. They comment on everyone else, how well the bridesmaids look, the flowergirls, my mum, everyone. I recently sent out thank you cards with our wedding photograph on and again no comment. I'm usually very hard on my appearance but even if think I look ok in these photos. I want to reiterate that I am not the one flaunting my wedding album, I am always asked to show them. But when I do..Nothing
I obviously don't look great in them, but surely they could at least mention the dress!'!!! Am i being paranoid or overly-sensitive or just plain vain? I'd appreciate some input. Thanks!!!!! By the way I was the bride!!!!!

skallywag

tamcp wrote: »

They comment on everyone else, how well the bridesmaids look, the flowergirls, my mum, everyone.

This strikes me as quite odd. It seems very unusual to me for someone to make such comments and then not to compliment the bride herself in some manner at least.

tamcp wrote: »

I obviously don't look great in them

What's your own honest self appraisal of how you look in the photos? Your second sentence would suggest that you think you look pretty good in them?

Dolbert

Did the people you showed the photos to attend the wedding? If so it just mightn't occur to them if they had seen you on the day! I'd say you're reading way too much into it tbh, to others it's probably a given that you looked great. Anyone I've shown my album to hasn't singled me out and I've never taken it personally, people are more likely to comment on the photographs generally, composition etc.

tamcp

One guest at the wedding sat down beside me at my own reception and told me how beautiful my sister looked as bridesmaid. I do agree it's odd behaviour which is why I posted it on this forum. Does this type of thing happen often?

Dolbert

tamcp wrote: »

One guest at the wedding sat down beside me at my own reception and told me how beautiful my sister looked as bridesmaid. I do agree it's odd behaviour which is why I posted it on this forum. Does this type of thing happen often?

Did you get compliments from other people that day? Or did you focus on the ones that didn't compliment you? It's human nature to exaggerate the negative but it seems like your self-image might be distorting your perception a bit here. I'm sure you looked beautiful, I've never seen a bride who didn't.

tamcp

You're probably right but I still think it's odd behaviour. I'd always comment on the bride in photos, at least the dress anyway. I do think I look well inputs and as I've already said I'm very self-critical. Perhaps posting on this forum is evidence of that. ðŸ˜႒

skallywag

tamcp wrote: »

One guest at the wedding sat down beside me at my own reception and told me how beautiful my sister looked as bridesmaid.

Well that certainly sounds bang out of order to me, assuming that this same person did not pay any compliment to you yourself.

Has this particular person the knives out for you for some reason?

tamcp

I don't think she has knives out for me but she prides herself on being brutally honest. Just to add none of these people are connected, some are colleagues, friends, even hairdresser who asked to see them and then did the same thing!!!!! Perhaps they think I've a bighead and need no compliments? Who knows?

Amoureux

Maybe everyone assumes you know how well you looked and that's why they are focused on other aspects of your wedding.

Or just to look at it from a different angle did you do anything alternative with your dress or appearance, perhaps an unusual colour or style that people might be hesitant to comment on?

Gatica

To be honest I think in Ireland people don't feel very comfortable discussing appearance, especially each other's. Reading this, I can't remember that anyone other than maybe my MIL commented on me looking lovely at our wedding or the photos after. Some person on FB commented on a photo of us that a cousin posted... that's how removed the compliment was.
I don't think there's any malice in it, people often feel uncomfortable being complimented, so they don't compliment as much in return either... the whole joke of, "that dress is lovely", "oh, it's from Penney's", shows how self-deprecating the culture can be.
I would try not to worry about it (might be hard to do), you'll drive yourself mad otherwise.

tamcp

No it was your basic wedding dress. Very nice I thought. No big fat gypsy wedding or anything.

Amoureux

Perhaps the next time you show someone you could just give them a little prompt, "Oh I wasn't sure abot my dress but I think it photographed well" something ambiguous like that. I know no one wants to go fishing for compliments but sometimes its nice to get them, it confirms the expectation and hope we had for how we would look.

And tamcp if you ever feel like putting the pictures up in the "Post a picture from your wedding thread" I promise I will give you lots of compliments

tamcp

Thanks. I'd love to show you the photos but perhaps not on this forum!!!!! Thanks for the kind words

Milly33

You could post one in the wedding photos one..

Just pondering, would you lets say not be a fan of the attention normally or one of those people who shy away from attention and the camera?

Just saying as I know I would be, and then I find that the one time you would actually like people to say something to you no one does, and it is normally my own fault as I would shy away from any of that sort of thing every other day

tamcp

You're probably right. I wouldn't be great at taking compliments and perhaps that's why people don't make any nice comments. I should just get over it, but you are right, the one time you'd like a compliment you don't get one!!!!!

Milly33

Isnt it typical! When you want the attention ( and I mean that in a good way) you don't get it and when you don't you will be smothered in it... I haven even seen it and I think your gorgeous already haha hope that makes you smile.. I am sure you are loverly in the pictures

tamcp

Thanks for that. I'm sure you're gorgeous too (shame you weren't at the wedding 😃).