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Unsettled

  • 14-06-2015 9:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey not sure how to explain this or even if it is a problem.

    I'm very unsettled - I live in a houseshare and with a girl from a foreign country. She is leaving to go to another country and I guess I'm jealous.

    I have not been anywhere else to work in my life and have been with my same and only employer for almost 16 years. I've got issues in my personal life for which I am seeking counselling. I think I want to try somewhere else to give me a kickstart, but I know that my parents would be dead against it and would miss me.

    Working abroad seems to be interesting and fun living in somewhere different. I don't know if I am just unsettled and jealous of the other girls move and stories of her new start or whether I deep down want to move. I have very few friends here and I don't know if being a fish out of water would be a good thing or a bad thing for me. I have had depression and mood problems in the past. Do I fix my life here or do i move somewhere else? i don't know which.

    Will this feeling pass? Can anyone here give me the +/- of living abroad. My head is a mess and i don't know how two react.


Comments

  • #2
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    unsettled wrote: »
    Hey not sure how to explain this or even if it is a problem.

    I'm very unsettled - I live in a houseshare and with a girl from a foreign country. She is leaving to go to another country and I guess I'm jealous.

    I have not been anywhere else to work in my life and have been with my same and only employer for almost 16 years. I've got issues in my personal life for which I am seeking counselling. I think I want to try somewhere else to give me a kickstart, but I know that my parents would be dead against it and would miss me.

    Have you discussed co-dependency with your counsellor? The opinion of your parents should not stop you from traveling or changing job. They might miss you but they have each other.
    unsettled wrote: »
    Working abroad seems to be interesting and fun living in somewhere different. I don't know if I am just unsettled and jealous of the other girls move and stories of her new start or whether I deep down want to move. I have very few friends here and I don't know if being a fish out of water would be a good thing or a bad thing for me. I have had depression and mood problems in the past. Do I fix my life here or do i move somewhere else? i don't know which.

    Will this feeling pass? Can anyone here give me the +/- of living abroad. My head is a mess and i don't know how two react.

    Try to sort yourself out here before doing anything drastic. If you are miserable here you will be miserable abroad.

    Get out more, join some clubs, meet up groups and take regular exercise. If you go home to your parents every weekend stop doing this and only visit them once a month or so. Spend your weekends getting out and about.

    A healthy diet and regular exercise will help with depression, as will getting out and making new friends.

    Moving abroad to work is a big decision. Only do it if you have enough money saved to tide you over and you can take a years leave of absence from your employer. An alternative would be to take a month or two off to go traveling. Is it possible to do this?


  • #3
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,754 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    You say you need "a change" but this doesn't nessecariily mean having to move to another country. You say you've been in the same job 16 years - perhaps a course in something and a change of job might be enough?

    The next question is one that could be relevant to a lot of threads here: do you actually know what it is you want to do? It's not a problem if you don't, but it's the first question that needs to be answered. Even more importantly if you're considering a move abroad.

    If you're still keen on a move, then work out where is the best chance of achieveing what you want to do. Find ex-pat websites and discuss witrh them the pros and cons that they feel about living abroad.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    unsettled wrote: »
    but I know that my parents would be dead against it and would miss me.

    Whatever else you do, whatever decisions you make or criteria you apply to where you go next, put this out of your head. It's not their life, it's yours and you can't live it for them. Do your thing and let them get on with theirs.


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