Feel like I'm going crazy and losing it

LegacyUser

Things are tough lately - I'm currently unemployed and on social welfare. I've applied for dozens of jobs, but barely any have got back to me and all of them have been rejection emails.

The social welfare is giving me guaranteed money, but it's only enough for me to live and nothing else. Out of the €188 a week, €150 goes towards rent and bills. I could move house to somewhere cheaper, but my biggest concern is that because I'm applying for jobs nationally and internationally, I would only need to move again soon. I can survive on €38, but it doesn't leave any wiggle room whatsoever.

I've been dealing with pretty bad anxiety lately and have been attending a counsellor to try to deal with it, but I've had to cut that off because I just can't afford it any more.

I've also had to stop my gym membership, but I'm terrified that I'm going to let go of my body - before I started working out, I was heavier than I was comfortable with (not fat, but just more than I liked), and through a tonne of hard work, I started feeling so much better and people noticed it too.

I just don't know what to do. Each time a place doesn't reply, doesn't even goddamn acknowledge my job application, it's like a stab in the heart. Even worse when they say no. I just want someone to essentially say I'm good enough, that I deserve it.

I'm really worried that without my counselling and the gym, then I'm just going to lose it even more. I was getting to such a good place.

OneOfThem

I could move house to somewhere cheaper, but my biggest concern is that because I'm applying for jobs nationally and internationally, I would only need to move again soon.

What's the issue there? If you get a job and have to move again who cares? You'll be guaranteed a wage far above what you're on. Move somewhere cheaper. Use the savings to keep the counselling going if you can. Jog and do push ups. Buy a chin up bar for your new place for 5 euro on done deal. Buy a complete set of free weights for a ten or twenty on done deal.

If you can move somewhere cheaper do.

LadyFenghuang

Just hang in there really. That's all I can say. Take things one by one? You can do this. You may get a job here you don't know. You may get one abroad. But try not to get anxious over hypothetical things. Maybe moving would be a good things for you , you just don't know.

LegacyUser

Some counsellors will offer a lower rate if you ask.They won't advertise it, but if you ask them and you"re in need of the help, then you might find someone.I was in a similar position a few years ago, had to go and talk to someone...turned out she offered a kind of sliding scale for people in my situation, it just wasn't widely known..She saved my sanity.
Also all I can say is hang in there.Use the good weather to get out running and walking in place of your gym membership.Nature does the head good.See if you can find any groups like mens sheds (you're male??) Or something in your area, so you have somewhere to go and people to meet
Otherwise all I can say is that I know exactly how you feel.I've been there and furthermore, I'm job hunting right now and having no success....so I understand how it can just be blow after blow after blow.Something will come through.Have faith. Harass everyone you know for any little chance they might know of.And best of luck