Saw Derogatory Emails in Work

DivineMsM

So I was legitimately on my bosses PC to forward an email for him when he was out of the office. I noticed my name on an email between him & his business partner (they are partners in another company, she isn't my boss).

I know, I know, I shouldn't have read it. But I did.

It was a vicious assault on my character, personally not professionally, basically a good old bitch between the two of them about me, and about others. (I know I am clearly not a nice person, with no morals, as I continued to read...) However, neither are they. Everyone and anyone has come into the firing line for their bitchiness. Very personal comments, judgements etc about me, their employees, their clients, terribly personal things being said.

As I said, he is essentially my boss, yet he is listening to stuff this girl says about me that are lies and exaggerations. Obviously I don't know if the negativity originated from him or from her, but I will be honest, I thought that I had a respectful and good working relationship with him. I also thought the other girl was a friend. Clearly wrong on both counts.

I don't know who I am more upset with TBH. I can't get it out of my head, I now feel uncomfortable and almost bullied. I have a fairly senior role, and I need a good working relationship with this man. And yes, I know I shouldn't have read what was a private email, so maybe I deserve what I read.

I probably know the answer, I have absolutely no leg to stand on, do I?

(Also just a sidebar, of no relevance to the above, they are clearly having an affair, yet he is married with kids.)

Nody

You read private conversation which you had no reason or right to access; yea, you're not exactly building up a strong case for yourself here. Honestly I'd look at moving on if possible because as you say it gnaws at you and it not like it's going to stop (or that you can have a discussion about it easily).

RGDATA!

DivineMsM wrote: »

So I was legitimately on my bosses PC to forward an email for him when he was out of the office. I noticed my name on an email between him & his business partner (they are partners in another company, she isn't my boss).

I know, I know, I shouldn't have read it. But I did.

It was a vicious assault on my character, personally not professionally, basically a good old bitch between the two of them about me, and about others. (I know I am clearly not a nice person, with no morals, as I continued to read...) However, neither are they. Everyone and anyone has come into the firing line for their bitchiness. Very personal comments, judgements etc about me, their employees, their clients, terribly personal things being said.

As I said, he is essentially my boss, yet he is listening to stuff this girl says about me that are lies and exaggerations. Obviously I don't know if the negativity originated from him or from her, but I will be honest, I thought that I had a respectful and good working relationship with him. I also thought the other girl was a friend. Clearly wrong on both counts.

I don't know who I am more upset with TBH. I can't get it out of my head, I now feel uncomfortable and almost bullied. I have a fairly senior role, and I need a good working relationship with this man. And yes, I know I shouldn't have read what was a private email, so maybe I deserve what I read.

I probably know the answer, I have absolutely no leg to stand on, do I?

(Also just a sidebar, of no relevance to the above, they are clearly having an affair, yet he is married with kids.)

Thoughts: It sucks that you read that. I can understand the sting of hearing negative criticism about you that wasn't intended for your ears - it's happened me more than once and it sucks.

Of course, as you acknowledge, you shouldn't have read it.

You say you "noticed your name" in another email. Was it in the subject line or the body of the email? That would be a pointer to how much snooping you were doing, but I guess it ultimately doesn't really matter, because either way, as you acknowledge, you had no right to read it.

If I was your boss, or even your friend, that would be a huge breach of trust that I would find it very hard to get over, and remember you committed this serious breach before you'd read anything crititical, or that you feel was unfair about yourself. In fact, I'm fairly sure I'd be a lot more upset personally about someone invading my privacy than saying something ****ty or unfair about me behind my back.

You say you feel bullied - I don't know if that's a fair word to use. Again, I do totally understand how ****ty you feel having read what you did, but whether legitimate or not, what was said was not intended for your eyes/ears, or to make you feel uncomfortable.

The fact that you feel you have a good working relationship with these people is an indicator that they're not actually bullying you, even if they don't think much of you behind your back.

Tough situation for you. I don't see how you can do anything other than
a) bite your tongue and get on with it
b) resign without explaining why
c) admit your snooping and have a confrontation about the criticism of you, which if I were your boss, would get you your marching orders.

sorry if any of this is harsh, nothing personal, good luck

chanelfreak

OP, was it the company email or just a personal one? OK, you shouldnt have been snooping but I challenge anyone to not read something when they see their name in the subject line - of course you are going to! The reason I ask is that (depending on the company) you can get into trouble for sending personal/private emails using the company mail and I reckon HR would be onto your boss fairly lively if the company email was being used to insult/be derogatory about someone.

However, I dont know how that would play out in a small to medium organisation - it might be more specific to a large institution.

Ging Ging

At least everybody is getting a bashing. They are equal opportunities in that regard.

DivineMsM

Thanks all for the responses. And I know, I get it, I shouldn't have looked. The email was a sent one, adjacent to the email I was picking up for him, and the 'viewing pane' or whatever its called was a couple of sentences clearly referring to me.

And I think I know myself there is nothing I can do, just need to hear it said to me.

Chanelfreak, thanks. It was a company email- but as he is the company director and the company is small, not a route I would have any joy heading down I don't think.

Think I just need to suck it up and watch my back.

Do you ever b1tch to your partner or family about your job, your boss etc.? The only real difference here is that your boss made the mistake of writing it down, and you made the mistake of reading it. I've had employees I could have written horror books about, and I'm sure from the version they undoubtedly gave their families or friends about me as their manager they could have written the same books about me!

Try and put it to the back of your mind.

daheff

OP i hope you sent yourself a copy of that mail (or printed out a copy).


Keep it if you did. It may be needed in the future if you want to fight/prove a bullying claim

Chemical Byrne

If they made baseless accusations against you to each other, would the OP have a case for defamation proceedings?

otoolepw

people bitch and moan and say outrageous stuff about work people all the time, some aren't so dumb as to put it in email though. ok what you did by reading it was wrong too but you know, ces't la vie, try suck it up, it'll be difficult in the short term but will wear off over time.