Dating Question???

LegacyUser

I recently went on a date with a guy of a different nationality and I’m wondering whether something has been lost/misinterpreted in translation. Short story is that he asked me out, we messaged every day for a week with 90% of the chats being initiated by him. We went on our first date and it was great, lots of flirting, loads in common, etc. We talked for hours over coffee until they kicked us out of the cafe so they could close. We kissed on the cheeks - there wasn’t one of those moments when the kiss was going to just happen naturally and I hate those awkward moments. An hour later, I got a message from him saying how much he loved getting to know me and that he’d like to see me again. I agreed and we arranged to meet up for a proper date within the next two days – we both have very busy schedules. He messaged me again that night to say goodnight. The next day I sent a casual message in the evening just saying hi really. I thought that he’d done all the chasing up to that point and I wanted him to know that I liked him. We messaged a bit but he was in the middle of something. Since then there’s been nothing. Normally I’d assume by now that the guy just wasn’t interested despite him asking me on the second date. But I find it strange this guy would go from being super interested to absolutely nothing overnight. And, even in that case, since we will see each other through work I would have expected a message saying that it was nice to get to know me but he doesn’t think I’m the girl for him/he’s the girl for me, bla bla bla.

Should I send him a message and see if he starts chatting again – I’m just wondering if maybe something got mixed up in translation and he thinks I’m not interested in him. Or should I just walk away?

ElizaBennett

If he talked about meeting up within two days then you could maybe give it one more go. But how many days has it been? Exactly how long since your last chat? How about suggesting an actual outing? With date, time, venue etc and see how he responds. If he can't do it but suggests something else, then great. If he ignores you or sounds vague then you'll have to just give up on him. You may never get an explanation for his behaviour unfortunately..

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks. Its been three days so I think I'll just drop a friendly message if I don't hear from him by tomorrow and take it from there. I've just never come across the situation where a guy asks for the second date and is super keen and then immediately vanishes. Sure, after a first date they sometimes vanish or it gradually slows into nothing.

Dellnum

You don't need to message him again OP. The writing is on the wall that he doesn't want to pursue this. If he did he would be messaging you to arrange for that second date and as he hasn't done this I think you should forget about him. He enjoyed meeting you that night, had a good time, but he is not interested in another date. That's the explanation.

IlmoNT4

I wouldnt message him again, if he wants to see you he'll contact you. He doesnt need a nudge, he's had a change of heart or whatever and doesnt even have a decency to tell you...

I'd bet money that he'll be back in touch in a few weeks looking to go out again. He's a messer. Delete and move on

OneOfThem

You've been on one date? It's only been three days? Give the guy a chance. He has a whole life going on that doesn't involve you. You've been on one date and it's only been three days. Cool your jets. Don't go nuclear the minute a guy that you've gone out with once doesn't talk to you every single day.

OneOfThem

You've been on one date? It's only been three days? Give the guy a chance. He has a whole life going on that you weren't part of before the date, and has continued. You've been on one date and it's only been three days. Cool your jets. Don't go nuclear the minute a guy that you've gone out with once doesn't talk to you every single day.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I wouldn't normally be stressing - I usually wouldn't expect a message/contact for up to a week after a first date. It's just that we have to work together every two weeks (which is how he asked me out) and I'm just wondering how awkward its going to be when I have to work with him next week if there's been zero contact since him asking for the second date.

Dellnum

It doesn't matter whether you have to work with him or not, just greet him, smile and say "how are things", and act like you are full of the joys of Spring. On no account text him again and on no account bring up the second date issue. You live and learn.

OneOfThem

Yeah, just drop him a message to say hi and see what happens.