Can't get my 14 yr old son to go out

Beckala

Having come to live with us (my fiancé & I) permanently last year following years of serious mental abuse from living with his father (which I knew nothing about until child services called), my son has been thru counselling, still hates is father but has no contact for now and started secondary school last Sept.

He made loads of friends as he's v.sociable, but finds them immature. He chats quite openly and is a v.happy kid at home and knows we love him unconditionally. Problem is, he barely leaves the house. It's summer now, the weather is smashing and he still prefers to stay in his room or hang around the house. We've now limited his PlayStation time to 3 hrs & given him extra chores like mowing the garden, washing the windows (he gets €10 pocket money if he does chores) if he won't go out. We have suggested clubs for him to join but he has no interest.

It's worrying and frustrating. The once or twice he has attempted to go out and meet up with friends he gets bored easily and comes home after an hour. He has given every excuse in the book not to go out!

Should we leave him be, he seems happy enough, singing regularly etc and let him grow out of it or should we keep pushing it and force him to join a club or something.

lazygal

Gosh I was like this as a teenager. I just wasn't particularly social or good at making friends and I liked my own company. I was and still am quite self sufficient and it drove me mad when my parents tried to push me into getting out of the house. I had plenty to occupy me and I was happy enough having a low key time at home. I did classes outside of my school and those and keeping busy at home with occasional babysitting jobs were all I needed. Not every 14 year old wants or needs a busy social life. Nothing wrong with letting a teenager have some down time and enjoy their own company. I see it as a good thing that he doesn't need constant companionship.

freshpopcorn

If he's happy and not locked in his room the whole time lying in bed. I don't see the issue.
Some people are just like that all there lives and that's just who they are.
If you do want him to go out maybe get him tickets for the cinema or an activity such as bowling for him and his friends.