Second date advice?

LegacyUser

Hopefully I'm in the right forum.

So I've met a great girl that's really down to earth and has been very easy to talk to. We seem to have a lot in common and have similar personalities. Our original meetup went quite well. We spent a few hours chatting over coffee and lunch. I let her know I had a great time and would love to meet again which she was also happy to agree to.

We've been in contact with one another on a daily basis through email and have gotten to know a lot about each other over the last few weeks.

I guess I'm just a little nervous and not sure how to let her know I really like her when we next meet. I've only been in one very long term relationship prior to this (10 years) so dating in general is very new to me and the last thing I want to do is scare her off. At the same time I don't want her to think I see her as just a friend, but something more.

I'd really like to give her a kiss to let her know but there wasn't much physical contact the first time we met other than a hug meeting and a hug and kiss on the cheek from me when leaving. I do get a sense she might be a little shy or reserved towards affection in public so I don't want to overstep any boundaries.

Do I just need to man up, tell her I really like her and give her a kiss?
I know I'm probably overthinking all this but I would be a little shy myself generally. Asking her to meet up the first time was a big step for me. It's not something I've done before but it just felt right and I'm grateful I have.

Ladies, does the fact she still emails me and want to meet up again mean she's really interested too?

LegacyUser

OP!

Really had to reply to this...I went out with a guy last night. And the vibe was good, and similar ending to yours (there was a tiny moment, and then both of us shyed away - the poor guy akwardly shook my hand lols).

Anyways, it does sound like she likes you. Ask her out again. She is probably nervous too. The first kiss is always pretty awkward (unless there is alcohol involved. First time kissing when there is alcohol is like falling when youve a few pints on you).

You could always just catch her gaze at the end of the night, and just ask her "can I kiss you?".

Merkin

Am I misunderstanding your post or did you tell her after the first date you'd like to see her again but you've merely been emailing each other for 'weeks' since?

If that's the case, you really really need to bite the bullet soon and ask her out! I wouldn't be doing coffee and lunch either, sounds like you get on well already so dinner and a few drinks would be good. You've to be very careful that this doesn't morph into a friend zone scenario. She was/is clearly interested too but you have to strike while the iron is hot!! Hope it all works out well for you!

LegacyUser

Merkin wrote: »

Am I misunderstanding your post or did you tell her after the first date you'd like to see her again but you've merely been emailing each other for 'weeks' since?

If that's the case, you really really need to bite the bullet soon and ask her out! I wouldn't be doing coffee and lunch either, sounds like you get on well already so dinner and a few drinks would be good. You've to be very careful that this doesn't morph into a friend zone scenario. She was/is clearly interested too but you have to strike while the iron is hot!! Hope it all works out well for you!

Hey, OP here.

We've both agreed to meet again (hopefully this next weekend coming). She was away last weekend and I was away this weekend so there hasn't really been a suitable opportunity since. We're a good few miles apart so at the moment the weekend only seems to be the best chance as we're busy with work any other commitments during the week.

Merkin

OK, well in my own experience, the guys who've been really keen pin down a date ASAP and stick to it. Rather than saying hopefully next weekend, contact her and secure a time and a place. The surety of a confirmed second date will help things progress no end I reckon.

LegacyUser

Merkin wrote: »

OK, well in my own experience, the guys who've been really keen pin down a date ASAP and stick to it. Rather than saying hopefully next weekend, contact her and secure a time and a place. The surety of a confirmed second date will help things progress no end I reckon.

Thanks for replying.

I probably should have been more detailed in my original post. Before and during our first meeting we both knew we were going to be unavailable for the two weekends after as our plans for those weekends were arranged a long time in advance.

When I say hopefully next weekend I mean I've already asked her if she's free for the weekend and just waiting to hear back. I'm nearly 2 hours away so maybe this won't even work but I'd still like to give it a shot. I like the girl, I think she likes me and like you said I do want to avoid ending up in a friend zone scenario here. There just hasn't really been an opportunity to meet prior to this.

doireann08

Merkin wrote: »

OK, well in my own experience, the guys who've been really keen pin down a date ASAP and stick to it. Rather than saying hopefully next weekend, contact her and secure a time and a place. The surety of a confirmed second date will help things progress no end I reckon.

100% agree with Merkin . To show that you are interested you do need to nail down a time and place to meet asap. She will think you have lost interest and will find the endless emails without confirming the next date frustrating and it will lead to her loosing interest. The fact that she is still emailing you means that she is still interested, but like the others have said unless the date is arranged soon, she will move on