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Growing apart from friends - What to do?

  • 05-06-2015 10:39pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all, regular poster going anon for this one. Wasn't sure if this belonged here or in personal issues so apologies if I chose wrong.

    Recently I've been noticing a rift growing between my close friends and I. I find that when I've been around them recently, I grow far more quiet than usual, almost as if my confidence shrinks. I don't feel I have much to say or contribute anymore.

    It's a small group, and we all have similar interests, but I find that social events are becoming increasingly dependent on alcohol and smoking tobacco and occasionally heavier things, despite all of us being underage. As a person who doesn't drink or smoke, it makes me feel detached from the rest of them, but I know that I'm not willing to compromise my beliefs.

    When there is no alcohol involved, I find that conversation usually amounts to small talk, with long awkward silences in between. I feel like the strength of my friendship with these other people is fading.

    The reason I feel so bothered about this is because I'm approaching a pivotal point in my life, where I'll be going to college and may not see these people regularly anymore. So my question is, should I just cut ties with them now, or should I make a proper effort to maintain the friendships I have? If it makes a difference, I've known these people all my life, but I'm not sure that's a good enough reason in itself.


Comments

  • #2
    Roselm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Roselm


    I don't think there's any reason to force the friendship if you're not feeling it. People do grow apart sometimes as they change and go in different directions. It's only to be expected really.
    It may be good that you are moving away to college-it will be a natural break point and you will probably find it easier to move on. You will make new friends in college remember


  • #3
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    How often do you see each other? If you're underage and heading to college I guess you're in school together?

    It could just be a case of you see each other so much you've never any news for each other and consequently nothing to talk about.

    Maybe by spending some time apart you will have something to talk about.


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