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Work Scandal

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  • 05-06-2015 12:48am
    #1
    iamstop
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 11,821 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Any scandals going on it your place of work?

    A few months ago one of the night lad was caught having some sexy time with one of the security guard ladies. Apparently not the first time either.

    Currently, there is someone who had decided to befoul the toilets in various ways.
    He started off by blocking up a load of the cubicles in a row.
    He then would leave a loaf on top of one of the blockages.
    Next he started laying toilet paper on next to the jacks and leaving a present on top
    Now he has taken to smearing the walls!!!

    Its forking disgusting. They suspect they know who it is but from what I've seen nothing has been done to curtail his cack crusade.

    Anyway, we've been coming up with names for him such as:

    The Clandestine Cack Creator
    The Deceptive Dookie Dispenser
    The Evil Excrement Expediter
    The Furtive Feces Flinger
    The Pompous Poop Perveyor
    The Sneaky Sh1t Shaker
    The Devilish Dung Distributor

    There was a few more I can't recall.

    So, any scandals going on where you're employed?

    https://open.spotify.com/album/69JKwCcZGdLqX4Upj3DwP7



«1

Comments

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    #2
    wp_rathead
    Registered Users Posts: 10,067 ✭✭✭✭wp_rathead


    I stole some post-its


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    #3
    Kylo Ren
    Registered Users Posts: 10,364 ✭✭✭✭Kylo Ren


    Where the feck do you work? A prison?


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    #4
    Tony Beetroot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 640 ✭✭✭Tony Beetroot


    Some imagination going there op.


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    #5
    Chucken
    Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    I'd hardly call roidin' and shoitin' a scandal.


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    #6
    bop1977
    Registered Users Posts: 1,052 ✭✭✭bop1977


    Another day another box of pens.


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    #7
    DoYouEvenLift
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,188 ✭✭✭DoYouEvenLift


    I'd prefer to have cameras in the stalls to record everyone to prevent anyone having to put up with such absolutely putrid stuff as that, what the fuk is wrong with that guy. I'd be afraid to touch anything in your entire work building because you just know if someone is okay with smearing their sh!t they're definitely not washing their hands well enough


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    #8
    iamstop
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 11,821 Mod ✭✭✭✭iamstop


    So no one has any stories?

    https://open.spotify.com/album/69JKwCcZGdLqX4Upj3DwP7



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    #9
    uck51js9zml2yt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    iamstop wrote: »
    So no one has any stories?

    Are you working for distilled Media by any chance. I heard strange things happen there!


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    #10
    Geniass
    Closed Accounts Posts: 643 ✭✭✭Geniass


    iamstop wrote: »
    A few months ago one of the night lad was caught having some sexy time with one of the security guard ladies. Apparently not the first time either.

    It'd be more of a scandal if they weren't.

    Giggity


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    #11
    VinLieger
    Registered Users Posts: 17,653 ✭✭✭✭VinLieger


    Sh1t bandits in the work place are actually a pretty common thing, i think studies have even been done


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    #12
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    I guess if you're a huge a$$hole then you really can't help it.


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    #13
    zl1whqvjs75cdy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,042 ✭✭✭zl1whqvjs75cdy


    We have a phantom ****ter in our place as well


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    #14
    frag420
    Registered Users Posts: 6,158 ✭✭✭frag420


    Years ago I was called the biscuit bandit as I kept robbing biscuits from the canteen..............on my days of!!


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    #15
    Youngblood.III
    Site Banned Posts: 777 ✭✭✭Youngblood.III


    I find it extremely disturbing people who shìt and they clearly haven't use toilet paper..and they also like to leave it there in the bowl like a trophy...filthy.


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    #16
    zl1whqvjs75cdy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,042 ✭✭✭zl1whqvjs75cdy


    Youngblood.III wrote: »
    I find it extremely disturbing people who shìt and they clearly haven't use toilet paper..and they also like to leave it there in the bowl like a trophy...filthy.

    Could be a clean break.


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    #17
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    I'm compiliing a dossier of people that don't wash their hands in the jacks in my company.
    It's suprising long.

    Other than that we just have the standard lunch theives & poo bandits.
    There is also someone or a group of people that put the snots on the walls of the cubilcles.


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    #18
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Morons who spit their gum in the urinals.

    That's about all the scandal I got!


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    #19
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,026 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    iamstop wrote: »
    Any scandals going on it your place of work?

    A few months ago one of the night lad was caught having some sexy time with one of the security guard ladies. Apparently not the first time either.

    Currently, there is someone who had decided to befoul the toilets in various ways.
    He started off by blocking up a load of the cubicles in a row.
    He then would leave a loaf on top of one of the blockages.
    Next he started laying toilet paper on next to the jacks and leaving a present on top
    Now he has taken to smearing the walls!!!

    Its forking disgusting. They suspect they know who it is but from what I've seen nothing has been done to curtail his cack crusade.

    Anyway, we've been coming up with names for him such as:

    The Clandestine Cack Creator
    The Deceptive Dookie Dispenser
    The Evil Excrement Expediter
    The Furtive Feces Flinger
    The Pompous Poop Perveyor
    The Sneaky Sh1t Shaker
    The Devilish Dung Distributor

    There was a few more I can't recall.

    So, any scandals going on where you're employed?

    The alliterating attentionseeker?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #20
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    We're all too tired and busy to have scandals. We mostly go outside and smoke and gossip.


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    #21
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    "The Phantom of the Opoora"


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    #22
    somesoldiers
    Registered Users Posts: 13,845 ✭✭✭✭somesoldiers


    We have regular re-enactments by the "Two Girls One Cup" appreciation society in our work jacks, or so it would seem


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    #23
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    Boom_Bap wrote: »
    I'm compiliing a dossier of people that don't wash their hands in the jacks in my company.
    It's suprising long.

    Well, the ones that don't wash them with others present at least. Some people just run the tap or splash the water to keep others in the toilet happy.... Some people.


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    #24
    timetogo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 990 ✭✭✭timetogo


    Youngblood.III wrote: »
    I find it extremely disturbing people who shìt and they clearly haven't use toilet paper..and they also like to leave it there in the bowl like a trophy...filthy.

    Could be a floater. Toilet roll gets flushed away but the crap returns to haunt you.


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    #25
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Someone took a dump in the shower in a place I used to work.


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    #26
    inforfun
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 20,862 Mod ✭✭✭✭inforfun


    My payslip is my work related monthly scandal.


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    #27
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    I know what I'd prefer between the snot flingers and the muck spreaders


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    #28
    Youngblood.III
    Site Banned Posts: 777 ✭✭✭Youngblood.III


    donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »
    Could be a clean break.

    Pebble dash.... :-(


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    #29
    Youngblood.III
    Site Banned Posts: 777 ✭✭✭Youngblood.III


    timetogo wrote: »
    Could be a floater. Toilet roll gets flushed away but the crap returns to haunt you.

    For some reason they also seem to put lots of paper in first and then dump on it.....I can't use a public loo for fear of seeing it again


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    #30
    Larbre34
    Registered Users Posts: 23,814 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    Youngblood.III wrote: »
    For some reason they also seem to put lots of paper in first and then dump on it.....I can't use a public loo for fear of seeing it again

    Every jewelled ring needs a cushion


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    #31
    aidoh
    Registered Users Posts: 620 ✭✭✭aidoh


    frag420 wrote: »
    Years ago I was called the biscuit bandit as I kept robbing biscuits from the canteen..............on my days of!!

    At least you weren't known as the 'Bum Bandit'.

    There's a few stories of serial toilet-wreckers on here.
    I too have worked in a place where someone would go and dump arse in every jacks, clog them up and leave a trophy on top of the clogging jacks roll. As the week went on, each toilet on each floor of the office would get closed off due to his anal vandalism so that by Friday you'd have to go into a pub next door.

    It seems to be common enough. I wonder if it's an office-dwelling human version of what other captive animals do in zoos etc., where they act out their frustration by just pacing up and down their cage, eating their own vomit, throwing **** at zookeepers and so on.


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