Please help, I am losing my mind

LegacyUser

Hello

I am finding myself in a strange situation, it is actually quite embarrassing so I had to unreg. Basically was abroad for a little while, minding my own business. My time abroad involved working in small groups with other people my age.

There was a girl in my group who almost immediately sparked my interest. She was beautiful, well spoken and very cheerful and friendly. We got talking and turns out she is just one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Its strange but I liked everything about her.

We did get to spend some time alone, but it was strictly as friends, I made sure to be the perfect gentleman at all times. The reason I did not make a move was because she lives in a fairly distant country, I just did not want the hassle. When the time came to go back to Ireland, we said our goodbyes and parted ways.

Now for the weird part - I have not been able to get her out of my head for the best part of a week. It is driving me insane. I consider myself a stoic person with little time for nonsense. But this is just something else. I just feel like I miss her terribly and I cannot enjoy things which were usually great craic for me without becoming sad over thinking about her. I feel like just ripping my brain (or my heart, whatever is causing this) out so I can just get on with the rest of my life.

I considered getting in touch with her but I stop myself because I know it is pointless - I live here and there is naught chance of us ever getting to be in the same place. I also just have a great admiration for her, I genuinely wish she just finds some nice bloke who will make her happy. I am able to step back from this situation and see how, objectively, crazy it is.

I suppose a question I would have is did anyone experience something similar? I broke up with a long term girlfriend a couple of months ago and remember being able to brush it off the very next day. This is why this whole situation just seems so bizarre to me. I just want this to stop...

Sleepless and Manic

Beatdown wrote:

We got talking and turns out she is just one of the most interesting people I have ever met.

Its strange but I liked everything about her.

I have not been able to get her out of my head for the best part of a week.

I considered getting in touch with her but I stop myself because I know it is pointless

Well...

I think you know what you should do.

When life causes your path to cross with someone who is that interesting to you then you should at least see if there's potential for developing a friendship at least.

Write to her. Contact her. Anything might happen. You might just end up with a really good friend in another country, but would that be so bad?

Saralee4

Yes agreed with Sleepless and Manic, you don't have to be completely practical all the time. If you like her and you find her interesting then you can still get to know her even though she doesn't live close.

On the other hand, I have had something similar when I was a teenager (not saying that it is a teenage thing, just I am in a relationship since my early 20s), where I had a holiday romance and probably for about a week or two thought about the person but it does fade, you get on with life and you meet other people and they become a distant memory but if they did pop into your head, you still think fondly of them.

Idle Passerby

Essentially you were friends with this girl while you were together, there's nothing to say you cant still be friends while apart. I know you have greater feelings than that but it might turn out she doesn't share those or that yours fade with the distance so the dilemma over a LDR may never even arise. Just follow your gut and try to stay in touch with someone whose company you like.

ManOfMystery

Beatdown wrote:

Hello

I am finding myself in a strange situation, it is actually quite embarrassing so I had to unreg. Basically was abroad for a little while, minding my own business. My time abroad involved working in small groups with other people my age.

There was a girl in my group who almost immediately sparked my interest. She was beautiful, well spoken and very cheerful and friendly. We got talking and turns out she is just one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Its strange but I liked everything about her.

We did get to spend some time alone, but it was strictly as friends, I made sure to be the perfect gentleman at all times. The reason I did not make a move was because she lives in a fairly distant country, I just did not want the hassle. When the time came to go back to Ireland, we said our goodbyes and parted ways.

Now for the weird part - I have not been able to get her out of my head for the best part of a week. It is driving me insane. I consider myself a stoic person with little time for nonsense. But this is just something else. I just feel like I miss her terribly and I cannot enjoy things which were usually great craic for me without becoming sad over thinking about her. I feel like just ripping my brain (or my heart, whatever is causing this) out so I can just get on with the rest of my life.

I considered getting in touch with her but I stop myself because I know it is pointless - I live here and there is naught chance of us ever getting to be in the same place. I also just have a great admiration for her, I genuinely wish she just finds some nice bloke who will make her happy. I am able to step back from this situation and see how, objectively, crazy it is.

I suppose a question I would have is did anyone experience something similar? I broke up with a long term girlfriend a couple of months ago and remember being able to brush it off the very next day. This is why this whole situation just seems so bizarre to me. I just want this to stop...

Ever feel like throwing caution to the wind? Maybe step outside the box or change your usual way of thinking for a little while?

My friend met a girl on a connecting flight many years back. Both lived in different countries (each at the other end of Europe), no plans to move, seemingly little in common. But they hit it off and kept communicating by email after they had both gone on their respective flights home. They're now married with a 3yr old and having a brilliant life.

I'm not saying you'll end up marrying this girl, merely making the point that the practical-practical approach often limits life somewhat. Get in touch with her. You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing so.

captainfrost

Am a serial victim of this scene. Having a constant interaction either online or offline could be bad for you.
Sometime i get very jealous if my message doesn't get replied on time!!!.
So it better not to start with the internet thing. If you can't get over her just send mails, wouldn't advice chating.
Or you could just go out more and talk to more girls.
See it like a breakup, talk to more girl and watch more porn if you have to.

Stan27

Dear op
Exact same thing happened for me. On an internship as got on great with this girl. She went home and I misses her a lot. Exactly like your described. So I messaged her and told her how I felt. Long story short I chased after her and we were together for 17 months.
It ended a few weeks ago but chasing after her was the best thing I ever did. A great 17 months, just distance eventually got in the way. But I have no doupts in my mind. Message her, what the worst that can happen.