Working in the UK away from home, quarrel

bimble

Hi folks, I have been offered work in the UK after 7 years unemployed, going from coarse to coarse and an internship, which led to a 20 hrs a week, job as a caretaker. Which is better than staying at home, but its not the most fulfilling of jobs, ie, emptying bins, mopping and more bins

I am a carpenter by trade, and have also battled with depression the last 7 years, which I am pleased to say, getting through it now.

My problem is my son (19) is in college, daughter (12) will be starting secondary school, and I will be leaving them for the first time without me being around, and my partner, who thinks I should stay here, will be running things this end.

I have family there, who will put me up, cheaper than renting, there is 2 to 3 months work for me to start straight away, with good money, that's before I start looking for more work, a ready made opportunity which I think is too good to let go, but my partner is not convinced

What do you think, thanks

miamee

This sounds like a very big decision and one that both you and your partner should be happy with before you proceed.

You are proposing splitting your family up and leaving the burden of parenting on your partner. Some people would be able for that and some people would not so if your partner is saying she is not up for it, you need to listen to her worries. Equally you need to explain to her how you are feeling and how much a new career start would mean to you, not just financially but in giving you confidence and more experience etc.

It's not a decision to make easily and I'd suggest that if you come up with a definite plan of how long you intend to stay away before returning home, how often you will come home for visits, when your partner gets a break away in all this, it might make it less scary and intimidating to her.

ShowMeTheCash

bimble wrote: »

Hi folks, I have been offered work in the UK after 7 years unemployed, going from coarse to coarse and an internship, which led to a 20 hrs a week, job as a caretaker. Which is better than staying at home, but its not the most fulfilling of jobs, ie, emptying bins, mopping and more bins

I am a carpenter by trade, and have also battled with depression the last 7 years, which I am pleased to say, getting through it now.

My problem is my son (19) is in college, daughter (12) will be starting secondary school, and I will be leaving them for the first time without me being around, and my partner, who thinks I should stay here, will be running things this end.

I have family there, who will put me up, cheaper than renting, there is 2 to 3 months work for me to start straight away, with good money, that's before I start looking for more work, a ready made opportunity which I think is too good to let go, but my partner is not convinced

What do you think, thanks

End of the day you won't know until you give it a go.
I know a lot of people that do stints in the UK and further afield (myself included) to ensure they can support their families at home.
I really only get the weekends with my family would not say it is ideal but I do not plan to do this forever it's a means to an ends as they say.
We do what we need to do sometimes!

You could always come home on weekends, holidays, and bank holidays. I would say go for it. You don't need to stay there forever - maybe a year or more - this could open up other opportunities for you.

Rubberchikken

Sit down with your partner and talk through everything. I realise it's great to get something after 7 years unemployed but i don't think it's worth doing until your family have discussed the ins and outs.
Good luck with your decision

bimble

I should add, both my parents live in the UK and both turn 65 this year, this opportunity will allow me to spend more time with them, other than once or twice a year, we would otherwise. Which after a rough couple of years, would mean a lot to me

Rubberchikken

hi
would your family be interested in moving over temporarily? i know your eldest is in college but your daughter is just beginning secondary. or would that just not work?

bimble

Rubberchikken wrote: »

hi
would your family be interested in moving over temporarily? i know your eldest is in college but your daughter is just beginning secondary. or would that just not work?

My daughter would jump at the chance, but partner and son would not be up for it.
I think, I may give it a months trial, myself, and see how we all cope at that, and take it from there.

And fly back for weekends or every 2 weeks.

Lollipops23

It's something you really need to hash out with your partner- what kind of support system does she have in Ireland? Are her family close by? The kids aren't babies, one of them is an adult who doesn't need mammying.

I think it would be a good move for you- it's short term, good money and a great career move. And it's only the UK-you can go back every 2-3 weeks for a visit.

bimble

bimble wrote: »

My daughter would jump at the chance, but partner and son would not be up for it.
I think, I may give it a months trial, myself, and see how we all cope at that, and take it from there.

And fly back for weekends or every 2 weeks.

Your son doesn't necessarily have to come over with you. He's in college and could get a part-time job.

sashafierce

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