Parents putting me under pressure to succeed

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I am seriously stressed at the minute. I am currently interning 3 days a week whilst trying to complete my Masters dissertation. I have interned the whole way through my Masters but at the minute its gotten unbelievably tough (dissertation due at end of June).

I don't think I would mind this too much if I had something to look forward to when I finished but instead I am just looking forward to more work and exams. The Company I am interning for wants me to come on full time once I have finished my exams. Most people would be happy with a job but I also have professional exams to study for which is a fulltime job in itself with most people studying at least 30 hours per week.

My parents are expecting me to work over 40 hours a week and study for these exams which will take up at least the next year and a half of my life. I have done 5 years of college whilst working part time and now all I have to look forward to is this straight away. I haven't had anytime off since I started in August and when i go on full time I will also have zero days off as I need time off to actually sit the exams. So basically From September 2014 until September 2016 the only time I will have off from work is Christmas and the 2 weeks to sit my exams (they are one twice a year). I have to carry all the annual leave I accrued from September to take my first 'professional' exams in 4 months.

I have mentioned how much even if I want to go down the professional route I would like to take a year out and take on a less stressful casual job so I have more time to study and take a break. i have also said I might not want to go down this professional route straight away and maybe work in a different (but also very good) job for a few years which doesn't expect half as much from you.

My parents just get so mad at me. They cant understand that when I have the chance I wouldn't go for this highly competitive, highly stressful job straight away and they don't want me to consider any other career path than this one singular career. They constantly say it to me and I just dont say anything about it anymore as they just get angry at me and say I dont know what I want.

I feel I am missing out on life. I havnt gone on a night out in 3 months (in my early 20s) as all I am doing is study and work and it is only going to get much worse.

I dont really know what I am asking off you here, but I am just so burnt out already!

Op i would just nod and agree to whatever your parents say and then do whatever you feel is best. You don't need their approval at this stage.

I would also be extremely surprised that a company would not give you study leave for related professional exams, are you certain about this??

There's no harm taking a year out if you are certain you could get a job after. Or maybe you can plan a career break for when you have finished the exams.

Lux23

If you want to take a year out, take it out, your parents can't tell you what to do anymore. You're an adult.

jimmycrackcorm

I presume you are living at home which is why your parents pressure affects you. But I'd also question your pressing need for the professional exams. Many people take professional exams during their career so you could think about taking the job and spacing out your exams over a longer period.

Having a job and money would allow you to also incorporate some level of a social life.

little lady

OP, only you know how stressed and burnt out you will get. If you put yourself under to much pressure then you could make yourself I'll.

Try explaining to your parents that you are not quitting you are just putting off the progression for a year and that the break will allow you to do better when you do sit the exams.

My mother use to put a certain amount of pressure on me to further my education but there was no point in me studying for anyone but myself.

I am now almost 40 and am currently sitting my accountancy professional exams plus working full time. It is difficult and my parents can now see how stressful and tiring it is BUT I chose when to do these exams and what course I wanted to do. In the middle of them I took a year out and went to the U.S.

Do what is best for you!

iusedtoknow

I'll be honest. Professional experience trumps professional exams any day. I look at CV's every week with people with lists of professional certificates etc, but with limited real world experience.

Professional certs/exams are great during your career to show growth, but before you've properly started they can actually be a hinderance. I once saw a 25 year old with every possible ITIL and PM certificate (my own field) and a number of professional certs but had never once worked in a service delivery or project management position. The many 000's he spent on those certificates were wasted and as far I know, he is still job hunting.

ShowMeTheCash

I guess there are a few things.

1. This is your life, I know parents can expect a lot or put pressure on you but end of the day these are your choices not your parents... You are an adult do what you want to do and act like an adult, this however also means you need to do it on your own steam.

2. Maybe academia was never suited to you, I worked part-time throughout university finished top 5 of my graduating year and too be honest I thought Uni was a breeze, had a lot of fun met a lot of people, granted around exam time it was a little frantic but I enjoyed that also. Life is too short to be doing something you do not enjoy!

Can I ask why you are doing a Masters? And what field?

captainfrost

Pressure wrote: »

Hi all,

I am seriously stressed at the minute. I am currently interning 3 days a week whilst trying to complete my Masters dissertation. I have interned the whole way through my Masters but at the minute its gotten unbelievably tough (dissertation due at end of June).

I don't think I would mind this too much if I had something to look forward to when I finished but instead I am just looking forward to more work and exams. The Company I am interning for wants me to come on full time once I have finished my exams. Most people would be happy with a job but I also have professional exams to study for which is a fulltime job in itself with most people studying at least 30 hours per week.

My parents are expecting me to work over 40 hours a week and study for these exams which will take up at least the next year and a half of my life. I have done 5 years of college whilst working part time and now all I have to look forward to is this straight away. I haven't had anytime off since I started in August and when i go on full time I will also have zero days off as I need time off to actually sit the exams. So basically From September 2014 until September 2016 the only time I will have off from work is Christmas and the 2 weeks to sit my exams (they are one twice a year). I have to carry all the annual leave I accrued from September to take my first 'professional' exams in 4 months.

I have mentioned how much even if I want to go down the professional route I would like to take a year out and take on a less stressful casual job so I have more time to study and take a break. i have also said I might not want to go down this professional route straight away and maybe work in a different (but also very good) job for a few years which doesn't expect half as much from you.

My parents just get so mad at me. They cant understand that when I have the chance I wouldn't go for this highly competitive, highly stressful job straight away and they don't want me to consider any other career path than this one singular career. They constantly say it to me and I just dont say anything about it anymore as they just get angry at me and say I dont know what I want.

I feel I am missing out on life. I havnt gone on a night out in 3 months (in my early 20s) as all I am doing is study and work and it is only going to get much worse.

I dont really know what I am asking off you here, but I am just so burnt out already!

OP it usually a matter of time. I believe in about 5 years from now you would be able to spend your annual leave whereever you want to with enough money.
Just think of the positive side of it all, good car, house and bank notes for life in exchange to rent out your soul for few years 2-3 years presicely.
And about your parent, you are grown up and they can only advice you, they really can not force you like that, Just do what is best for you, they will surely come around.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

LadyFenghuang

You sound so stressed your poor thing. Take a breather.

You can't expect your parents to approve of all your decisions. They won't approve of some. But it's your life and your time to make them. Do what YOU feel is best. Take the casual job and enjoy yourself for a bit.

You can return to a masters in a year or so. Many people do.

Also listen to Bluewolf and JimmyCrackorn. Ask the company and the college if they can accommodate you.

In the end though you know what you want and can take. This is your life.

scrimshanker

You sound burnt out. Taking a break is genuinely the sensible option. Make your decision and maybe write your reasoning out in a letter to your parents. Make it very clear to them that your decision is made, and it's a good idea. If you do out a timeline from starting college to the present and then the exams they want you to do immediately, it might be clear to them why you need a break.

Good luck op.