turning 40 learining to drive

southie_anseo

ok, i did it, i picked up the phone and booked driving lessons, not a big deal to most people i would think but for me i was sweating even speaking to the secretary at the driving school booking.

I will be 40 in two months time, never driven in my whole entire silly life. Its not that i am afraid to drive at least i dont think it is, or that i think i wont be able to do it, i am just so use to been the passenger and seeing the s*it some drivers get up to on the road, that over the years i have become a become a nervous wreck.

I had one driving lesson last year, i told the instructor my story never been sitting in the drivers seat the whole shebang, so first lesson, he takes me down a small boreen, down onto a damn pier! shoes me the pedals the gears did a reverse thingy, then he says lets drive up this road a bit, now the road is wide enough for one car and its a back road with traffic on it. I had to try drive (keep it straight) pull in when a car was coming against me (i had never driven, i dotn know how to pull in) Met a camper van and a bus, had a row of cars behind me while mu instructor sat beside me pretending to read a damn book! now maybe he was just too frightened to see the road but that is no way to give a lesson not to me esp! Maybe he thought i was bluffing and that i had driver experience and he wanted to trick me but say he nearly crapped himself. When the lesson was over i was trying to arrange another lesson and he actually said to me, "well i am busy the next few weeks, its test season"

So finally i have gotten over that! it has taken a while (a whole year) and i am ready to start again, a different instructor and hopefully no a mean one. I do actually have a question though, how long do you think it might take untill i have the confidence to take the car out without an instuctor? i will need to practice between lessons i assume how long till i am actully brave enough?

kerry4sam

southie_anseo wrote: »

ok, i did it, i picked up the phone and booked driving lessons, not a big deal to most people i would think but for me i was sweating even speaking to the secretary at the driving school booking.

I will be 40 in two months time, never driven in my whole entire silly life. Its not that i am afraid to drive at least i dont think it is, or that i think i wont be able to do it, i am just so use to been the passenger and seeing the s*it some drivers get up to on the road, that over the years i have become a become a nervous wreck.

I had one driving lesson last year, i told the instructor my story never been sitting in the drivers seat the whole shebang, so first lesson, he takes me down a small boreen, down onto a damn pier! shoes me the pedals the gears did a reverse thingy, then he says lets drive up this road a bit, now the road is wide enough for one car and its a back road with traffic on it. I had to try drive (keep it straight) pull in when a car was coming against me (i had never driven, i dotn know how to pull in) Met a camper van and a bus, had a row of cars behind me while mu instructor sat beside me pretending to read a damn book! now maybe he was just too frightened to see the road but that is no way to give a lesson not to me esp! Maybe he thought i was bluffing and that i had driver experience and he wanted to trick me but say he nearly crapped himself. When the lesson was over i was trying to arrange another lesson and he actually said to me, "well i am busy the next few weeks, its test season"

So finally i have gotten over that! it has taken a while (a whole year) and i am ready to start again, a different instructor and hopefully no a mean one. I do actually have a question though, how long do you think it might take untill i have the confidence to take the car out without an instuctor? i will need to practice between lessons i assume how long till i am actully brave enough?

Oh my Gosh Go You! Well Done & I Hope it all goes well for you.

I'd just say take it one step at a time for now. Start your official lessons with the instructor. Remember if you are not comfortable with your instructor you can change. You won't always 'click' with your instructor so don't give up if you find after one or two lessons if you're not in-tune

Everyone had to start somewhere so that's where you should start. Everyone develops confidence in their own time and at their own pace so try not to compare yourself to others. For now, focus on yourself, focus on what your instructor says you should work on.
Pick up the RulesOfTheRoad book also and be overly familiar with that before sitting behind the wheel and taking to the roads. Great tips and advice in there.

Safe Driving Out There,
kerry4sam

Paul.k.b.90

I recon after 3/4 lessons you may be confident enough to maybe drive around an estate to practice the basics but then again you may be ok after 1 or not at all after the 12..My sister was a nervous wreck when she was learning but granted shes 23 after 5/6 lessons she was begging someone to go with her so she could drive to work and someone pick her up from work so she could drive home.

Just remember to be nice and relaxed and calm during the lessons..if your unsure of something ask your instructor. If you want to go over something again with them say it to them. One thing that was a problem with my sister was that she was overwhelmed with everything she had to do just to drive a car (steering, clutch,gears, peddles, indicators, mirrors etc etc). Just remember slow is smooth, smooth is fast

cruizer101

To be fair sounds like you got a bad experience with your first instructor.
I remember when I was learning I asked about getting a discount if I booked a number of lessons, and my instructor said he wouldn't let me book a number with him as then I would be committed to him and he might not suit me as a teacher. If I ended up doing a number with him he would give me a discount anyway.

My point being he, as an instructor, knew the importance of the relationship and that sometimes it might not work, as much as it is a business decent instructors know it won't always work. So try find yourself an instructor you feel comfortable with get a few lessons and try get plenty of practice.

Have you anyone to practice with? The hardest thing about driving is there is so much at once. Ideally if you can learn to get comfortable with the car, size clutch etc by driving in car park or industrial estate when quiet with someone you know without the pressures of other road users.

needtomove

I will be following this thread with much interest!!!, I too am about to turn 40 very soon and have never driven, but with two young kids/creche drops etc all falling on my husband, things are getting a bit tense at home if you know what I mean!!:)

So, I have reached critical level!! I NEED this ...... I did attempt some lessons 2 years ago when my youngest was a only a few weeks old! silly idea:) much toooo tired and didnt take to my instructor at all, so that is a very good point early posters have made.....relationship with your instructor:)


Best of luck!!! I hope to take the plunge myself very soon, as 40 next month!! eek.....

Reg'stoy

Learned to drive late in life myself, mostly due to the fact that I had been riding a motorbike and never felt the need to drive a car. All that changed once I got married and my wife insisted I at least learn to drive as she was sick of doing all the driving.

I was in my mid 30's but my road experience stood to me with the bike, plus in work I would have to drive an automatic vehicle (not on public roads) which also made it that bit easier.

Firstly ask for an older instructor and insist that they start right for stage one. I didn't want it assumed that because I was older I must have had some experience. I also wanted it to be obvious that I was the one getting the lessons rather than it appear I was the instructor sitting beside a younger student, this was so I would be given 'space' by other drivers.

Nerves will kick in, but any instructor worth his/her salt will be mindful of this. Practice and more practice. You will get the flop sweats and you will stall in traffic, everybody does and all other drivers will allow for this bar the odd flute who beeps; ignore them.

Don't worry about "teaching an old dog new tricks", you've never driven so no different to a 17yo learner. The only problem will be when you kick yourself for not having learned to drive years ago but think of all the money you saved.

Best of luck and use all the great advise you will get on this forum, your fellow boardie's are invaluable resource; so use them.

southie_anseo

well folks, Second lesson done and dusted, to say i am not a partial nervous wreck still would be a lie, but my instructor is lovely. He could talk for Ireland and he dose not seem to be too frightened yet. He actually seems to think i am quiet good at steering which i sometimes doubt, as we live in an area with lots of twisting winding roads that were built in horse and cart times. So far on lesson 1 i went to a car-park and did a few u turns which if i do say so myself i was damn good at. learnt a bit about the gears they are what will drive me mad i think, well changing gears while keeping the car straight really is my main problem. Then after 20 mins of uturns we headed on the open road, the mere thought of it had the life frightened out of me but Adrenalin got me through and to be honest i did it but don't remember a whole lot of it.
Then yesterday Lesson 2. This time open road straight away, narrow road, met a school bus and a camper van 2 mins in but didnt crash into either of them and after that keeping out of the briars was my main problem. I thought i was flying it i was going so fast but apparently an old man could keep up to me walking according to my instructor so it will take a while to even get use to the feel of the car now that i am driving like an auld wan (heck i will be an auld wan). But like i said its tough on the nerves and already i am wondering if i will ever feel comfortable enough to take the car out on my own, its still very scary, i had this thing in my head that i would be better yesterday than the first lesson but i think i was actually better the first day, my nerves kind of took over and i was getting angry at my silliness, my instructor kept asking me if i was still breathing so guess he noticed too ; ( anyways, i am not giving up i am determined to do it and i will do it, might take a few more lessons to get my mojo but i will get there

southie_anseo

well folks, Second lesson done and dusted, to say i am not a partial nervous wreck still would be a lie, but my instructor is lovely. He could talk for Ireland and he dose not seem to be too frightened yet. He actually seems to think i am quiet good at steering which i sometimes doubt, as we live in an area with lots of twisting winding roads that were built in horse and cart times. So far on lesson 1 i went to a car-park and did a few u turns which if i do say so myself i was damn good at. learnt a bit about the gears they are what will drive me mad i think, well changing gears while keeping the car straight really is my main problem. Then after 20 mins of uturns we headed on the open road, the mere thought of it had the life frightened out of me but Adrenalin got me through and to be honest i did it but don't remember a whole lot of it.
Then yesterday Lesson 2. This time open road straight away, narrow road, met a school bus and a camper van 2 mins in but didnt crash into either of them and after that keeping out of the briars was my main problem. I thought i was flying it i was going so fast but apparently an old man could keep up to me walking according to my instructor so it will take a while to even get use to the feel of the car now that i am driving like an auld wan (heck i will be an auld wan). But like i said its tough on the nerves and already i am wondering if i will ever feel comfortable enough to take the car out on my own, its still very scary, i had this thing in my head that i would be better yesterday than the first lesson but i think i was actually better the first day, my nerves kind of took over and i was getting angry at my silliness, my instructor kept asking me if i was still breathing so guess he noticed too ; ( anyways, i am not giving up i am determined to do it and i will do it, might take a few more lessons to get my mojo but i will get there

Ohh and another quick thing, learning to drive in high tourist season was either the bravest or stupidest thing i have ever done, the seem to think that the fact we have no road markings here give them the rights to the whole road and they never have to pull in to let the fool with the "L" sign on the roof pass.

kerry4sam

southie_anseo wrote: »

well folks, Second lesson done and dusted, to say i am not a partial nervous wreck still would be a lie, but my instructor is lovely. He could talk for Ireland and he dose not seem to be too frightened yet. He actually seems to think i am quiet good at steering which i sometimes doubt, as we live in an area with lots of twisting winding roads that were built in horse and cart times. So far on lesson 1 i went to a car-park and did a few u turns which if i do say so myself i was damn good at. learnt a bit about the gears they are what will drive me mad i think, well changing gears while keeping the car straight really is my main problem. Then after 20 mins of uturns we headed on the open road, the mere thought of it had the life frightened out of me but Adrenalin got me through and to be honest i did it but don't remember a whole lot of it.
Then yesterday Lesson 2. This time open road straight away, narrow road, met a school bus and a camper van 2 mins in but didnt crash into either of them and after that keeping out of the briars was my main problem. I thought i was flying it i was going so fast but apparently an old man could keep up to me walking according to my instructor so it will take a while to even get use to the feel of the car now that i am driving like an auld wan (heck i will be an auld wan). But like i said its tough on the nerves and already i am wondering if i will ever feel comfortable enough to take the car out on my own, its still very scary, i had this thing in my head that i would be better yesterday than the first lesson but i think i was actually better the first day, my nerves kind of took over and i was getting angry at my silliness, my instructor kept asking me if i was still breathing so guess he noticed too ; ( anyways, i am not giving up i am determined to do it and i will do it, might take a few more lessons to get my mojo but i will get there

Ohh and another quick thing, learning to drive in high tourist season was either the bravest or stupidest thing i have ever done, the seem to think that the fact we have no road markings here give them the rights to the whole road and they never have to pull in to let the fool with the "L" sign on the roof pass.

^^^ Sounds like you'll be grand

Time & patience & plenty of practice and sur before you know it you'll remember every twist & turn in the road. The tourists, be extra cautious of. Speaking as someone who spent years listening to their stories of driving more often than not 'driving on the other side of the road' , and 'the other side of the narrow, windy road' with it. Not to mention the reports I'd to assist in completing about damage to the rentals.

You're in no rush. You're going no-where urgent to the point where you can't wait another 40seconds to leave them pass, if you need to on the real narrow roads.

At the end of your lessons jot down some notes. Look over them before your next lesson and build your continuum.

Safe Driving,
kerry4sam

ProudDUB

Good for you. You'll be grand. Every one is terrified when they start out. Remember, you are the paying customer. You are the one paying for a service, not the other way around. If the instructor has you do things, or has you drive in conditions, that you don't feel comfortable in, then tell him that. Get him to adjust the lesson and where you drive accordingly. Everyone learns how to drive differently and sometimes the 'one size fits all' approach doesn't suit every learner.

southie_anseo

Well I dig it! Drove 17 miles without hitting anything or anyone thank god! I think I actually might have started to exhale at stages too 🙊. I did test a few cats eyes along the way, did my bit of community service well. On we go!

rainbow kirby

southie_anseo wrote: »

Ohh and another quick thing, learning to drive in high tourist season was either the bravest or stupidest thing i have ever done,

Sounds like what the next few weeks of my lessons is going to be like! I'm in my early 30s and learning to drive for the first time in London, which isn't good for my nerves but 18 hours in and I'm starting to get used to it a bit.

southie_anseo

Had a total crap day today, been 3 weeks since my last lesson as instructor was busy getting learners ready for driving test. So today was a nightmare was close to tears by time I got home, I kept crunching gears, was going into 4th instead of second, couldn't get first, steering while changing gears I was like a drunk. Longest hour of my life.

Alexanderis

We all fall from time to time. Don't give up. Its always hard before it gets better. Just keep at it and you'll be ok.

SteM

I know this will sound obvious but try not to leave such a big gap between lessons from now on. It's all about training yourself to do certain things and that's more difficult to do if you don't do it frequently. Also, try not to go straight from work out onto the road until you've done more lessons. If your brain is tired you're more likely to make mistakes.

Keep it up, everything will come good soon enough. When everything clicks it's a great feeling.

Redser87

Going to fourth when I needed second was a mistake that I kept making for ages. My instructor said it could be a psychological thing where you instinctively want to pull it towards yourself as a sort of self protection. I really liked going for lessons because he was brilliant but still had days like that. Let it go and start again :-)

Widsy97

Have you considered driving an automatic car instead?

Don't have the pressure of changing gears/clutching. Can focus more on the road. I drive one now, and I'd never go back to a manual.

Tipsy McSwagger

Redser87 wrote: »

Going to fourth when I needed second was a mistake that I kept making for ages. My instructor said it could be a psychological thing where you instinctively want to pull it towards yourself as a sort of self protection. I really liked going for lessons because he was brilliant but still had days like that. Let it go and start again :-)

I still do that the odd time and was doing it a lot when starting out, it's some pain in the ass when trying to go up a hill. What i would suggest is when changing from 1st to 2nd is grip the gear stick on the right side with your palm open a bit and push to the side and bring it down.