feeling so helpless

LegacyUser

My ex is harassing me by text and phonecall. I have blocked his number but he texts and rings on different numbers. I have reported him to the police but I have to still hear back from them. But it's really getting to me. I am lacking in self confidence, I am paranoid and constantly looking over my shoulder. I am on bill pay so I don't know if I can actually change my number. it's so hard to ignore it sometimes, I feel like I'm letting him win because I'm not gfighting back but I've learnt from before that fighting back only makes it worse. What can I do? It's really starting to effect me as a person.

Merkin

Have you been keeping a log of times and dates? Also, what is he saying when you answer a call from him? What are his texts saying? Are they threatening in nature? If you are concerned I really think you should go back to the Gardai again rather than have you wait for them to be proactive, you shouldn't and don't have to put up with this kind of harassment.

athtrasna

So sorry you're going through this. Even on bill pay your network should let you change your number. Ask them straight out, they may require a Garda complaint to do it but sometimes they will just do it if you ask. Also have your network block his number, don't just do it from your phone.

IlmoNT4

You can change your number for approx 20 euro...its a new sim, go into your phone providers shop, tell them you want a new number and to cancel the old number and associate the new number with your bill. They'll have it done within an hour...You dont need any letters from the police.

They wouldnt block his number for you, but in your case if he's harassing you using different numbers then this is a pointless exercise.

When you have your new number, be very clear with the people you are giving it to, that they are not to pass the number on to him or any of his friends.

Do keep a log of everything that you are doing and what he is doing in his attempts to contact you.
If you feel threatened going about your business, go down to the local police station and tell them you are "afraid for your life" you have to use those words sadly before they will take it seriously. For the next couple of weeks, have a family member meet you outside of work, going into work etc so if he turns up there, you have back up.
If he turns up at your home, call the police straight away and tell them your ex boyfriend is there and you are afraid for you life.... they will come. They wouldnt come if you tell them, hes there but not doing anything etc. I know, its crappy but thats the way it works in Ireland.

The best thing you can do is ignore and not engage with him on any level in responding to texts and phone calls. Dont look at it like whos winning etc, just chalk it down to a bad experience.
Obviously make sure your social media (Facebook etc) is locked down so he has zero viability over you. The most important advice I can give you, is to tell people who love you whats going on.

athtrasna

loulou2009 wrote: »

They wouldnt block his number for you, but in your case if he's harassing you using different numbers then this is a pointless exercise.

Meteor blocked a number for me when I had a guy who was harassing me. There was no problem getting it done.

ZeRoY

On Three you can do this yourself, at least I can on my Lumia

LegacyUser

I seem to be able to block his number on my phone without having to ring my mobile provider. I have kept a log of everything yes. His texts aren't threatening but he'll text and ask a question and then when I don't reply he will send a million question marks and then start calling me. This is constantly. Somtimes he will get angry and give out for not answering him. The guards can't do anything unless it's threatening but they have told me that if he showed up , to call them. But I just want to move on, move past it, but it's so hard when I'm always wondering what he will do next. As I said, I'm always looking over my shoulder. It's the paranoia that has set in that's most annoying.

ihavenoname3

"The guards can't do anything unless it's threatening"





Tell the Guards to have a look at section 10 of the non fatal offences against the person Act 1997

10.—(1) Any person who, without lawful authority or reasonable excuse, by any means including by use of the telephone, harasses another by persistently following, watching, pestering, besetting or communicating with him or her, shall be guilty of an offence.

(2) For the purposes of this section a person harasses another where—

(a) he or she, by his or her acts intentionally or recklessly, seriously interferes with the other's peace and privacy or causes alarm, distress or harm to the other, and

(b) his or her acts are such that a reasonable person would realise that the acts would seriously interfere with the other's peace and privacy or cause alarm, distress or harm to the other.

(3) Where a person is guilty of an offence under subsection (1), the court may, in addition to or as an alternative to any other penalty, order that the person shall not, for such period as the court may specify, communicate by any means with the other person or that the person shall not approach within such distance as the court shall specify of the place of residence or employment of the other person.

(4) A person who fails to comply with the terms of an order under subsection (3) shall be guilty of an offence.

(5) If on the evidence the court is not satisfied that the person should be convicted of an offence under subsection (1), the court may nevertheless make an order under subsection (3) upon an application to it in that behalf if, having regard to the evidence, the court is satisfied that it is in the interests of justice so to do.

(6) A person guilty of an offence under this section shall be liable—

(a) on summary conviction to a fine not exceeding £1,500 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 12 months or to both, or

(b) on conviction on indictment to a fine or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 7 years or to both.

captainfrost

Maybe all you need do is talk to your dad, uncle, brother or friend about this.
So they can have a man to man kind of talk.
Hes your ex and even if you change you number, sooner or later he will get hold of it again.